Severe, Disabling Heath Anxiety. Need help and advice

[sedohrrelyt]

Okay, I went to my doctor yesterday and made a list of everything that was bothering me and all the diseases and illnesses that concerned me. My biggest concerns were Brain tumor, MLS, Hormonal Imbalances, Thyroid Issues, Pheochromocytoma, Those where/are my big issues. My Thyroid levels came back normal on my last blood test, so she said I wouldn't have a Thyroid disease. (I was concerned once because it came back slightly elevated last year and I freaked over that and still do but they say it's normal now) The other things however she said that she sees no reason to test my hormone levels because i'm so young (20) and she said the only one they really need to check is the thyroid. However, I'm still constantly worried about having a brain tumor, even though she said that the odds of me having one are highly unlikely. All my blood work came back great. My blood pressure has always been good.. Except once when It was high because of a panic attack I had in the doctors office. EKG's, Chest X-ray, Abdominal X-ray, Urine test, everything always turned out well.. But I still fear that I have some type of disease that is causing my anxiety/panic attacks. I can't fully accept that this is anxiety and still feel I can die of a heart attack, stroke, or a serious illness at any moment and suddenly. Pheochromocytoma (tumor of the adrenal gland) is one that has really effected me lately. I'm terrified of it and feel like I could have it. So, basically.. I'm still very concerned with a brain tumor, MLS, Pheochromocytoma, and my hormone levels.. Any advice over getting over these diseases and accepting that it's just anxiety so I can focus on just beating the anxiety? Thanks, any advice will be greatly appreciated.

---------- Post added at 14:21 ---------- Previous post was at 14:18 ----------

Forgot to mention, This had lead me to be an agoraphobic. I can't work, I can't go to school, I can't even go out with my friends to have fun. I'm consumed by the anxiety and fear of death and disease.. I feel like if I go out any where that I can drop dead of a heart attack, stroke, or some misdiagnosed disease is going to make me drop dead. It's really disabled me in the truest form of the word. I don't know how I can get over this.. I feel helpless..

[Chrissy88]

Hi there,
I've been there before, at one time or another i've managed to convince myself i've had pretty much every horrible medical condition there is: heart attack, stroke, brain tumour, cancer, meningococcal, the list just goes on and on. How long have you had this anxiety for, may I ask? I found the longer i've had the anxiety disorder (and i'm pretty confident that's all it is in your case) and the more experience i've had with it, the better i'm able to recognise that i'm not really sick, it's just my mind playing tricks on me. There are still times though when the panic will flare up and i'll convince myself again that something is very wrong. Are you on any medication for the anxiety?

[sedohrrelyt]

I've had it for about 4 years now, since I was 15/16. It started with a pulled back muscle while I was skateboarding and for some reason.. I convinced myself it was kidney failure because it was right over my kidney and I went into a full blown panic. Also, I was smoking weed before hand.. Since then there's been ups and downs but I had a two uncles commit suicide and just a few months ago, I lost my dad to a shocking, unexpected heart attack. That's when my health anxiety went through the roof again. That just like made me sure that death is unpredictable and can strike at any minute. I just started therapy because I feel like suddenly losing my dad is something I really need to be in therapy about along with this severe anxiety problem that I have that keeps me from having a life and i'm only 20! I live as if I'm on my deathbed every waking moment.. I'm also on Prozac 40mg, the ER put me on it after my last visit there a month ago because of an intense, like week long panic attack I was having.. Also, I'm starting hypnotherapy too and hopefully that will grant me some type of relief with this anxiety and phobias that I have. I've heard good things about it. The depression has been really bad lately too, like I said.. I feel helpless. With losing 2 close people to suicide, losing my dad, not being able to work, having to drop out of school, losing friends, and suffering every waking moment with anxiety.. The depression is bad. I just want to not fear death or an illness any longer. My dad wouldn't want to see me wasting my life away like this, he was always a carefree, happy guy who lived to the edge. The complete opposite of how I've been living for the past 4 years.. I want to make something more of myself not only for him but for myself.

[Chrissy88]

I'm really sorry to hear about your dad and your uncles, I can't imagine how tough that must be and also the effect that would have on your anxiety. I think in a lot of people the anxiety disorder can be dormant and just sits there for a long time waiting for something to trigger it off, in your case this was your back injury that triggered it. I know what's it's like to feel depressed and as if every day you're just waiting to die, having a sister who is very ill i'm always worrying that i'll get all the conditions that she has as some are hereditary. The fact that you're seeking out help is a wonderful thing and the first step in getting your life back together. It does take time and you will have setbacks, but in the end it is definitely worth it. The fact is you're at least taking the steps to get better and that is a very brave thing to do. I'm sure somewhere your dad is very proud of you for that. You're not alone in this, everyone on this forum is very supportive and has an idea as to where you're coming from.