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jaydee01
24-09-06, 20:38
Funny Phobias
Most of the people in the world have a fear of one kind or another. While most
people suffer from pathophobia (fear of disease), monophobia (fear of being alone),
glossophobia (fear of public speaking), algophobia (fear of pain), taphephobia (fear of
being buried alive), and many more, there are also some less popular phobias. At the end
of this essay, I have compiled a list of the phobias that I find amusing.

There are many people in the world that suffer from polyphobia, which simply
means to have more than one fear. Not so common, people may suffer from antinomial
phobias. For example, there are some people that live with vestiophobia (fear of clothes)
and gymnophobia (fear of nudity). Another example is people with achluophobia (fear of
darkness) and photophobia (fear of light).

Watch out guys, within the next seven years, you will probably get married and
you will suffer from pentheraphobia, which is one of the scariest phobias in existence, the
fear of your mother-in-law!

Not all phobias have been in existence for thousands of years. I’m sure that
brontophobia (fear of thunder and lightning), febriphobia (fear of fever), and
ophidiophobia (fear of snakes) have existed since the Black Ages. Some of the phobias
that have formed in the last two centuries would be electrophobia (fear of electricity),
motorphobia (fear of automobiles), and aviophobia (fear of flying). In 1945, a brand new
phobia was quickly created and escalated drastically in the 1950’s. It is called
nucleomituphobia, which is the fear or nuclear weapons. But that’s not the newest phobia
in existence as of today. This threat is called cyberphobia (fear of computers). In mild
cases, people may be afraid to use a computer or an ATM. In today’s society, technology
is deeply integrated. Computers are used in calculators, cars, microwaves, power tools,
and many more. So to the cyberphobic, I say, “Get over it, or go to the extreme and
move away from the city, abandon your car, hand build your home, hand pump your
water, build your fires, and hunt for your own food!”

If you have a phobia, there is still hope for you. Phobias can be cured. Remember
when you were a child and suffered from clinophobia (fear of going to bed) because of
bogyphobia (fear of the bogeyman), achluophobia (fear of darkness), and lachanophobia
(fear of vegetables). Now chances are good that you go to bed without checking your
closet or looking under your bed, that you don’t go ballistic if the lights go out, and that
you eat a salad every so often.

Phobias can deeply impact a person’s life. A person with chronophobia (fear of
time) probably won’t make it to their 10:00AM dentist appointment on time. A person
with chaetophobia (fear of hair) is most likely bald, has no eyelashes, no eyebrows, etc. A
person with cibophobia (fear of food) usually hasn’t eaten in weeks and could easily be
anorexic. This proves how serious and destructive phobias can be. If you do suffer from
any strange phobias, I would suggest calling one-eight-hundred-phobias, for
arithmophobics (people who fear numbers) or for logophobics (people who fear words),
1-800-635-1317. This phone number is for entertainment purposes only.

Now on a more serious note, in all the years I’ve lived and all the knowledge I’ve
acquired, I can only find one, yes one, valid fear. This fear is called zeusophobia, which is
the fear of God. In Heaven, the false phobias are destroyed, but in Hell they can be
amplified.

I still find it hilarious, though, that these phobias exist, especially since someone
must have experienced these fears so they could be valid phobias.