I'm SO scared

[Lilac]

I have been reading this forum for a couple of weeks now. Since I had my first panic attack early July. The information on panic attacks and posts in forum have helped me cope BUT this weekend was from hell.
Just got back from doctors as feeling really unwell,. whilst waiting in the surgery I had 3 very strong waves of panic, bad tightness in chest and felt like I was going to pass out. I was sure my blood pressure was through the roof , Doctor took it and told me it was normal 140/80.
Unfortunately I have a portable wrist blood pressure monitor at home and all weekend it had been showing BP up to 200 and over!!!!!!
She told me not to use this anymore as certainly makingme more anxious.
I know I should believe her but I still am not convinced all OK -

This weekend I developed new symptoms - was having a bad episode after eating dinner - palpitations etc so decided to take dog for a walk
to park nearby - half way there my chest tightened and I felt couldn't breathe very scary. Stopped and sat down on wall it eased off and I make it home but the feelings didn't subside and then when I walked upstairs to bathroom tightness in chest returned. Just getting up from couch and walking to kitchen made my chest tighten.

I should add that this all started 6 weeks ago when I first had attack.
I had just found out I was being made redundant from job, had gone through an aweful long period of stress at work leading up to this.
first attack came a week after this. I am a coper so on the outside wasn't feeling stressed. Relieved if anything cos finally I was going to be free from job and all the stress. Anyway in middle of the night
I had attack, couldn't breathe tight chest, dizzy etc.
I called ambulance and they took ECG BP etc and said not heart attack or Angina but should see Doctor for cause of palpitations. I did and she referred me for blood tests etc. These came back normal.
Then a few days or so later I had another bad attack, chest pains, breathing difficulty etc called ambulance and they said should go into hospital.
Spent a terrible night in A&E on monitor, then more tests, chest xray
which all came back OK. They let me out next day.
Then because I was still having bad palpitations I had a portable ECG
fitted which I wore for 1 week. This showed slight traces of abnormal activity at times but nothing serious or requiring further tests.

I then went on holiday for 2 weeks abroad - had wonderful time
no symptoms. Was very active, swimming, walking, drinking and eating having fun. Came back and 2 days after returning the symptoms came back and started getting gradually worse until this last weekend.

I feel sick and dizzy all the time, can't concentrate on anything
other than how I feel. Chest tight, heart pounding - all day getting worse in the evenings. I have cut out coffee and tea and alchohol -wine.
Do breathing exercises which sometimes work. But didn't this weekend.
My fear is - I think its Angina and I will have a heart attack soon.

My Doctor said she thinks not Angina, and has referred me to the
communuity heart nurse who will meet with me and monitor me.
She thinks I'm having bad hot flushes - menopause symptoms and panic attacks - she suggests we change the HRT I'm taking.
she said if I get bad attack or feel scared I should call ambulance.

I'm scared now of exertion, walking the dog, which I used to love to do.

I'm feeling calmer now, having written this.

Please let me know what you think - any suggestions comments much appreciated.

Lilac

[missacorah]

Hello amd let me first say what a horrible time you gave been having!

It sounds to me like you need to concentate on the fact that when you wnet on youre holidays your symptoms disappeared! So thats great as when you were away from whatever was causing your distress you felt differently. Its really hard sometimes to pin point the causes of these things espacially when you feel you have coped well up until then. I have just come thru a really sticky patch and have tried to keep telling myself its just anxiety but I know how hard it can be to believe that ALL these synptoms can be caused by something that is in your head.

It really helps to just get these things written down sometimes doesnt it? Keep posting = you will get lots of support from this site!

[**whenwillthisend**]

your symptoms are very much like mine- i have suffered bad chest tightness now for 8 months- like you exertion makes it worse, walking upstairs , getting up , going for walk everything-the problem is when we have this symptom we are constantly thinking about it-making it worse...my chest tightness comes in bouts-lasts for weeks, then goes for a couple of weeks only to return. I get palpitations, ectopic beats alsorts.......im 26 coinvinced i had heart problems..........i have had numerous tests, xrays ,scans, moniters, blood tests-everything comes back fine......i have been in the ambulance to hospital cos i couldnt breathe properly-i was hyperventilating!
If it was a heart problem we would know about it by now....stress makes us tense our muscles-making the chest tight then we think we cant breathe right-it is very scary i know but the best thing is to try to take our mind off the sympton-when i do this...could just be talking to someone-my symptom nearly always goes..........it is anxiety related...
if i was you i would throw your bp moniter in the bin-it will make you more anxious constantly checking your bp like that
my advice would be to carry on walking, doing the things you normally do....avoiding them wont make your symptoms go.........
do you have uppwer chest tightness?i find rubbing muscle rub (like deep heat) onto the area helps.........
I have hormonal problems similar to menapause symptoms and find im worse around that time of the month-palpitations and hot flushes(im a bit young for the menapause though i suppose!!)
take carex

[carlin]

Hi there, sorry you are having a rough time at the moment. I would truly be re-assured by the doctors that you are not going to have a heart attack nor have you got angina.Anything amiss would most certainly have been picked up with the tests. You have been through a stressful time, anxiety gives us the most awful symptoms you have been wise to have them checked out, just in case. If you did have a heart problem, i don't think it would have gone away cos your were on holiday? I am going through the menopause (ugh!) and although am not taking meds. everything you describe is happening to me. My anxiety/panic has definately increased, i get shortness of breath, etc...it is all hormonal, awful but we will get through. have a word with doc to see, as you said, if your hrt could be changed. take care and please keep in touch. you are coping ok!!! p.s i am the queen of hot flushes and dizziness, feel free if you want to compare notes. xxjean

[Ma Larkin]

Hi Lilac, this is exactly how I was when I was at my worst (although not at the menopausal age quite yet, 40 in 2 weeks!!). I was absolutely convinced that I was having a heart attack and must have phoned the ambulance about 10 times I reckon. Each time, the results were all the same. I was put on Diazepam which took the edge off the panic, and eventually put on Prozac, which I am still taking now although I have weaned myself down to 3 a week instead of 1 daily. I'm off Diazepam altogether and haven't had a full blown panic attack for about 6 months (touch wood!!) It took me 18 months to come to terms with all this properly. I still got scared when I had a panic attack, but I knew that I wasn't going to die, as long as there was someone there with me (bit hard for me as I'm a single parent with 3 kids and the youngest is only 6). I'd have some symptoms for days, tingling and breathlessness, feeling a bit faint, but I did overcome the fear and I hope you can too when you realise just how common these symptoms are, even though they are really scary for us panic and anxiety sufferers. Don't be scared of exertion. Walking the dog will do you more good than harm and you may see something along the way to take your mind off your symptoms. Everyone laughs at me for doing this but when I used to have panic attacks I'd throw a box of cornflakes on the carpet and hoover them up. I'd end up swearing under my breath but it took my mind off my panic! Drinking water helps me too. Little tips from everyone will soon help you on the road to recovery and I hope you find something that agrees with you.

Take care, Les

[Lilac]

THANK YOU all so much for replying - your support really does help.
I went for a lie down had a bit of a sleep after sending in my post. also have problem of just as I'm eventually drifting off to sleep I wake up suddenly with a gasp - very strange, this is a new symptom that started recently.
Then I got up feeling bit better - my holiday photos have just come back
so sat down to look at these and it made me cry - remembering how well I felt then. so I had a good cry. Husband came back from work
to find me sobbing like a baby. Probably has done me good. get rid of pent up emotions.
I will not use the heart monitor again!
And I will venture out and walk the dog - but might take someone with me to start with.
Chest still tight all the time - its round ribs and moves to ribs middle back. Feel a bit nauseaus but not feeling dizzy at the moment since having sleep.

You are right it certainly helps having company - my daughter stayed round last night as husband working nights. being distracted helps reduce stress.

Thanks again - I will keep in touch.

Lilac - not quite so scared now.
Lilac not quite so scared now.

[-FReaK-]

Hi Lilac

I've become the same after doing anything energetic. I used to run quite a lot but have had to stop that (for the time being) as my brain has started to confuse the adrenaline release from the exercise with having a panic attack. As soon as the adrenaline hits you're bloodstream, you're gonna get all kinds of weird and intense physical feelings and thoughts. I know it's hard but you have to try and remind yourself that you'll be alright, because you will.

Keep the exercise nice and gentle and remember to breath. You'd be surprised what short shallow breaths can do to the body and mind.

Take care.

:)

[dazednconfused]

Read this book - it's amazing!!

'Self Help For Your Nerves' by Dr Claire Weekes.

I too suffered from all those horrible symptoms and thought i had angina, and later a brain tumour when i started getting awful headaches. u really have to keep reminding yourself that it is all down to anxiety and stress. even if for the most part you don't feel that your stressed! i'm recovering now and although i do still sometimes get feelings of mild panic, most of those horrible symptoms have gone. but i'm aware that they might well come back again when i'm stressed and that's fine because i know what they are and they're certainly not life threatening!!
Things that have helped me so far:

- exercise!! i know u've been worried about it, but once you accept that there's nothing wrong with your heart (my ECG came back abnormal but even that's nothing to worry about if that ever happens to you. doctors always look into it further just to make sure). exercise will get rid of all that excess adrenaline u're producing and make u feel less anxious and rid u of many symptoms.

- cut out caffiene and cigarettes (im 25 and smoked 20 a day for 7 years and since quitting my attacks are much less frequent. and ofcourse i'm healthier for it too!)

- diaphragmatic breathing. u need to keep at it though.

- camomile tea

- hot baths

- distractions!! like your holiday, u can find other things to distract you and lessen the frequency of your attacks. i try to make sure i have something fun to do at least 3 times a week. making more good memories is the best way of getting rid of the crap panicky ones!

- keep reminding yourself that everything you are experiencing at the moment is based around fear. but it's an irrational fear. the book i mentioned before will do wonders for changing the way you look at your anxiety.

- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - changing your thinking patterns from negative to positive. i don't know about you but i became and still am occasionally a very negative thinker, "but of course the worse is going to happen" ...not.

- please don't avoid life. learn to accept what is happening to you for what it is and nothing more and you will be able to carry on living a normal life. i avoided everything for a while and it made me lose my confidence. that in itself can worsen attacks. there's no need for this to happen.

finally, best of luck to everyone!