Tix
01-05-13, 17:20
Hi everyone, my names Tix and I'm 23. I've never really spoken to anyone about my problems before so I'm sorry if I start rambling or it doesn't make any sense.
I guess things all started when I was at school I was always a nervous child and I guess this was picked up by the other children and I was bullied I had a few friends but never really trusted them and felt like I could never be myself and that’s when I started finding comfort in relationships with guys.
I guess through my teenage years I went from relationship to relationship and as soon as a guy showed interest it made me feel like I was worth something and I found it so much easier to trust guys than friends and when I was in a relationship I would forget the friends I had and all my focus would be on the relationship and become quite scarily possessive.
When I was 20 a was in a very temperamental relationship where the guy was cheating on me but I was so scared to get out the relationship cause I couldn't stand the thought of being on my own and he had made me feel like I couldn't do anything without him and ran all the friends I had away. I started then having panic attacks and anxiety when in social situations or on my own.
Last year I went to university and finally broke from the relationship. But that was only because I had someone else there to find comfort in. That relationship broke down and finally broke me. I soon realised that I'd never been on my own and can't stand the thought of no one being there. I have a lot of social anxiety and it’s a daily struggle to socialise and I'm constantly scared that panic attacks will start when I'm out resulting in not wanting to go out or having to make awkward exits when I am out with people. I get so attached to people that it scares me how I react when they aren't there.
I have been to the doctors and have a initial appointment with a counsellor in two weeks and then another appointment to discuss medication. Just wondered if anyone was in the same position and if anyone could point me in the right direction on here.
Thanks for reading.
I guess things all started when I was at school I was always a nervous child and I guess this was picked up by the other children and I was bullied I had a few friends but never really trusted them and felt like I could never be myself and that’s when I started finding comfort in relationships with guys.
I guess through my teenage years I went from relationship to relationship and as soon as a guy showed interest it made me feel like I was worth something and I found it so much easier to trust guys than friends and when I was in a relationship I would forget the friends I had and all my focus would be on the relationship and become quite scarily possessive.
When I was 20 a was in a very temperamental relationship where the guy was cheating on me but I was so scared to get out the relationship cause I couldn't stand the thought of being on my own and he had made me feel like I couldn't do anything without him and ran all the friends I had away. I started then having panic attacks and anxiety when in social situations or on my own.
Last year I went to university and finally broke from the relationship. But that was only because I had someone else there to find comfort in. That relationship broke down and finally broke me. I soon realised that I'd never been on my own and can't stand the thought of no one being there. I have a lot of social anxiety and it’s a daily struggle to socialise and I'm constantly scared that panic attacks will start when I'm out resulting in not wanting to go out or having to make awkward exits when I am out with people. I get so attached to people that it scares me how I react when they aren't there.
I have been to the doctors and have a initial appointment with a counsellor in two weeks and then another appointment to discuss medication. Just wondered if anyone was in the same position and if anyone could point me in the right direction on here.
Thanks for reading.