Snoodlester
01-05-13, 19:17
I didn't feel great yesterday, but assumed it was anxiety as I was at home on my own all day. However during the evening I did feel a slight panic, which I managed to somehow 'ignore'.
Today my parents wanted to go out and do some shopping, so I said I'd go with them. I felt a bit apprehensive, but (stupidly from what I've read recently) took a few precautions, had my bottle of water, Rescue Remedy, throat sweet, etc. When we came to a road I particularly don't like - a flyover a motorway with traffic lights - of course the lights were on red. I've done this journey quite a few times in recent months and was able to just go with the flow and feel fine, I actually felt like I was overcoming my travelling fear. But today, boom, I had a panic attack. It was particularly nasty, and one of the worse ones I can remember - my hands were trembling, my whole body shook, sweating, heart pounding... What I really wanted to do was get out of the car asap, but there would be nowhere to go, apart from head on into traffic. So rather than try to stay in the moment, I distracted myself with my iPod. When the lights changed and we moved on, I started to feel better, but it took a while for me to feel ok again.
I don't know if this is stupid or not, but I tried not to let my parents know at the time - although they obviously did. When we got back home I said to mum, thank God that's over. She said, yes I thought you were agitated. I felt like bursting into tears, but again fought this off rather show her how much it had affected me.
It's really getting me down now, I've been extremely unwell since end of February, and had my medication switched to Mirt and gradually upped to 45mg. I've tried to give it a go, but I'm really not sure this medication's helping me, or if in fact it's causing more anxiety/panic.
I've been given Zopiclone to help me get through the nights. I don't want to take them, but I would be extremely distressed if I didn't. The longest I've taken them is a week, when I tried to go the 8th night without it, but I got so anxious and felt so rubbish the next day, I went back on them again. I was planning not to take one tonight, but after today's experience, I don't think I've got much choice.
:weep:
Today my parents wanted to go out and do some shopping, so I said I'd go with them. I felt a bit apprehensive, but (stupidly from what I've read recently) took a few precautions, had my bottle of water, Rescue Remedy, throat sweet, etc. When we came to a road I particularly don't like - a flyover a motorway with traffic lights - of course the lights were on red. I've done this journey quite a few times in recent months and was able to just go with the flow and feel fine, I actually felt like I was overcoming my travelling fear. But today, boom, I had a panic attack. It was particularly nasty, and one of the worse ones I can remember - my hands were trembling, my whole body shook, sweating, heart pounding... What I really wanted to do was get out of the car asap, but there would be nowhere to go, apart from head on into traffic. So rather than try to stay in the moment, I distracted myself with my iPod. When the lights changed and we moved on, I started to feel better, but it took a while for me to feel ok again.
I don't know if this is stupid or not, but I tried not to let my parents know at the time - although they obviously did. When we got back home I said to mum, thank God that's over. She said, yes I thought you were agitated. I felt like bursting into tears, but again fought this off rather show her how much it had affected me.
It's really getting me down now, I've been extremely unwell since end of February, and had my medication switched to Mirt and gradually upped to 45mg. I've tried to give it a go, but I'm really not sure this medication's helping me, or if in fact it's causing more anxiety/panic.
I've been given Zopiclone to help me get through the nights. I don't want to take them, but I would be extremely distressed if I didn't. The longest I've taken them is a week, when I tried to go the 8th night without it, but I got so anxious and felt so rubbish the next day, I went back on them again. I was planning not to take one tonight, but after today's experience, I don't think I've got much choice.
:weep: