Conspiracy
01-05-13, 23:41
I can't deal with all of this anymore. I will worry about anything and everything, if nothing is going wrong I will make something up in my head to worry about.
I'm almost constantly worried about my boyfriend. I'm scared he will end up in a freak accident :( I hate him driving alone, especially at night. When he drives me home (we don't live together), I will want him to text me as soon as he gets home and if he doesn't I will worry like hell. I will also worry if I haven't heard from in for a while. He's AWFUL at answering his phone, I know this all too well. He will leave it in his car or in his room but I will still worry if he doesn't answer. I also worry he will just leave me. He's the first person I've ever truly loved :( he says he loves me but I question it far too much.
I'm also scared of my house catching fire. If I can smell an ounce of smoke I will automatically think my house is on fire. It's normally something like my neighbour's having a barbeque.
I also worry about my health. I'm 22 years old and have no serious medical problems but I keep thinking I may end up with cancer or some other deadly illness :( I had a mouth ulcer a few weeks ago and I thought it was something else -_____-
My sister's also pregnant and I'm scared she will lose the baby :( I know it's unlikely because she's 6 months pregnant and everything is fine. I can't bring myself to be excited because I'm scared something will go wrong :(
I've had C.B.T. before and I didn't find it useful. I found my therapist really patronising -____- I'm also on Sertraline which doesn't seem to be doing anything.
I know these thoughts are irrational and unhealthy but I can't stop myself.
Sorry for the long post but I just need some advice :( any advice :( How can I stop myself from having these constant thoughts?
I'm almost constantly worried about my boyfriend. I'm scared he will end up in a freak accident :( I hate him driving alone, especially at night. When he drives me home (we don't live together), I will want him to text me as soon as he gets home and if he doesn't I will worry like hell. I will also worry if I haven't heard from in for a while. He's AWFUL at answering his phone, I know this all too well. He will leave it in his car or in his room but I will still worry if he doesn't answer. I also worry he will just leave me. He's the first person I've ever truly loved :( he says he loves me but I question it far too much.
I'm also scared of my house catching fire. If I can smell an ounce of smoke I will automatically think my house is on fire. It's normally something like my neighbour's having a barbeque.
I also worry about my health. I'm 22 years old and have no serious medical problems but I keep thinking I may end up with cancer or some other deadly illness :( I had a mouth ulcer a few weeks ago and I thought it was something else -_____-
My sister's also pregnant and I'm scared she will lose the baby :( I know it's unlikely because she's 6 months pregnant and everything is fine. I can't bring myself to be excited because I'm scared something will go wrong :(
I've had C.B.T. before and I didn't find it useful. I found my therapist really patronising -____- I'm also on Sertraline which doesn't seem to be doing anything.
I know these thoughts are irrational and unhealthy but I can't stop myself.
Sorry for the long post but I just need some advice :( any advice :( How can I stop myself from having these constant thoughts?