Severe anxiety after break up

[Ruby77]

Hi all,

So here I am again, back in the grip of anxiety worse than I ever remember it.

I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 and a half years 2 weeks ago. He wasn't the one for me and as hard as that was to admit to myself and to him, I did it. I felt sad immediately after, took a couple of days off work but within a week the fog started to lift and I thought I was going to be fine.

I was wrong, I woke up at the beginning of this week with my old enemy - anxiety. I have stopped eating, I can't sleep, I'm sick every day even though theres nothing to throw up. I have this adrenalin flowing through my veins 24/7, my head hurts from the stress, I want to cry and I am so scared.

I have been to the doctors, she said to increase my citalopram from 20mg to 40mg, is this a good idea? I have also been referred fro counselling but that takes time as there is a waiting list.

I have been signed off work for a week, I'm blaming it on the breakup as they don't know about my anxiety disorder but that is added pressure, I need to be better in a week or how am I going to go to work?

Is this a normal reaction to a breakup that will ease or has this triggered my anxiety for good now and I won't ever be normal again??

Please help, I'm so scared right now.

[NE21 worrier]

Hello Ruby,

Sorry to hear about your tough time recently. Break-ups are rarely, if ever, easy to handle - and distressing events are known to set off anxiety so there is nothing particularly unusual in what has happened. Be aware that you are not alone.

In terms of the action being taken, as I understand it, it is again not unusual for the dosage of an SSRI drug to be increased by your GP in the event of an episode of anxiety. I am glad to hear also that you have been referred for therapy - I'm also on the dreaded waiting list!

The only thing that I would perhaps suggest at this stage is to be more open to your employer about your current situation. They cannot and should not judge you as anxiety is covered by the Equality Act. Basically, if you are still not fit for work next week, then you shouldn't go, and I would also advise for you to return to your GP for an extended sicknote/fitnote. Don't make the mistake that I and countless others have done by returning to work and hoping to battle through, only to have to take more sick leave almost immediately.

By the way, you needn't go into depth about your issues with your employer, just make them aware that you suffer from anxiety, you have been back in touch with your GP and he/she has advised that you will need a longer period off work.

Hope you start to feel better soon, and remember your health is the most important thing. Let us know how you're getting on,

Peter x

[Ruby77]

Hi Peter,

Thank you for your response. So do you think if this event has triggered my anxiety, will I get over it or am I stuck this way? At the moment, it feels like there is no way out!

Glad to hear that increasing the dose is normal too. Ive been on 20mg for years so it kind of feels like I'm going backwards. Will I get any of the side effects I got when I first started taking them? Like will the anxiety get worse before it gets better?

While I agree about not going back to work before I'm ready, I also think that the longer I am off, the harder it will be to go back. Sometimes a routine and some normality is what we need although I couldn't face it right now so I will have to see how I feel.

Glad to hear you are waiting for counselling too, really hope that helps me deal with things.

Right now, I guess I'm scared that I'm now stuck like this forever and my life is screwed.

[Ruby77]

Has anyone else here been through a painful break up? How did you cope? How long did the anxiety symptoms last?

[clearmind]

Hi Ruby

Sorry to hear that you have been having a bad time. I am in exactly the same boat having recently broken up with boyfriend! I can handle most of what life throws at me but relationship problems really set of my anxiety (I suppose the answer is not to have any more boyfriends :D). I've also been on 20mg Citalopram for years and my GP increased this to 40mg a few weeks ago as I felt as if I was losing my mind. If anything I am feeling worse and although I was signed off work for the last 2 weeks I chose to come back to work today as I couldn't bear sitting in the house feeling miserable any longer. It was a real effort to get into work this morning as my anxiety is always worse in the morning but I am getting through it - although tbh I can't wait until 5 o'clock to go home and crawl into my pyjamas.

We can get through this and we will get better day by day.

Kaye x

[Clint70]

Try not to let the anxiety get you down, we all know its awful especially when you look around you and everyone else is seemingly so relaxed and happy.
Just keep teeling yourself that the symptons cant really harm you and that they will ease up and dissapear in time leaving you to enjoy your life.