NatalieSmith
02-05-13, 18:25
Hello, everyone! It's been almost a year since I last posted here on the site - so many things happened, and I felt like I was getting better. But alas, anxiety came back like a wild dog to bite me and drag me around again.
I've been having this really weird, sudden thoughts about heart conditions; like yesterday, I was ready to fall asleep, completely calm and ready to drift off to dreamland when suddenly I just thought "What if my heart stopped right now?" I felt a huge rush of anxiety rush through my whole body, and I thought I was going to have a panic attack, but luckily my sister started talking to me and distracted me from my fear.
But today I woke up with this constant worry that I'll have a heart attack or my heart will just stop - I keep checking my pulse and trying to see if I'm having any sort of symptom that might tell me that I'm having a heart attack, but since anxiety and heart attacks symptoms are so alike I'm just... really, really anxious and ready to burst with worry.
I have to say that I already had run some tests to see if there's anything wrong with my heart, and my doctor said that it's strong as a bull's. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, but why do I keep worrying so much over it? I can't seem to let go, and it's so distressing I feel like I'll have - after almost a year without having one - a panic attack. I'm trying to distract myself as best as I can, but as soon as I start forgetting, it's like my brain pulls the thought back into the spotlight! I keep trying to think reasonably about all of this, but it feels like my own brain is against me. Why is it doing so? I was feeling so well just yesterday, but now it feels like I'm back to square 0. Does anyone feel like this? How do you cope? Is there a way to stop this?
Sorry for the long post! I just... really needed to get this off my chest.
I've been having this really weird, sudden thoughts about heart conditions; like yesterday, I was ready to fall asleep, completely calm and ready to drift off to dreamland when suddenly I just thought "What if my heart stopped right now?" I felt a huge rush of anxiety rush through my whole body, and I thought I was going to have a panic attack, but luckily my sister started talking to me and distracted me from my fear.
But today I woke up with this constant worry that I'll have a heart attack or my heart will just stop - I keep checking my pulse and trying to see if I'm having any sort of symptom that might tell me that I'm having a heart attack, but since anxiety and heart attacks symptoms are so alike I'm just... really, really anxious and ready to burst with worry.
I have to say that I already had run some tests to see if there's anything wrong with my heart, and my doctor said that it's strong as a bull's. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, but why do I keep worrying so much over it? I can't seem to let go, and it's so distressing I feel like I'll have - after almost a year without having one - a panic attack. I'm trying to distract myself as best as I can, but as soon as I start forgetting, it's like my brain pulls the thought back into the spotlight! I keep trying to think reasonably about all of this, but it feels like my own brain is against me. Why is it doing so? I was feeling so well just yesterday, but now it feels like I'm back to square 0. Does anyone feel like this? How do you cope? Is there a way to stop this?
Sorry for the long post! I just... really needed to get this off my chest.