The Tessar has landed.... 2 flights in one day....phew

[Tessar]

Well folks just a quickie to say I DID IT..... I ACTUALLY DID IT.
Don't mind admitting I am exhausted but what a day.
Up at 5.30 as I wanted to be certain I wasn't late (I felt extra responsibility as I was on a work trip).
Got to the airport ok, parked up. Checked in. That was quite funny because I was busy scrabbling around looking for my paperwork and this lady had been calling me to her little kiosk but I hadn't noticed.... Doh...
Oh, I even had time to bump into someone I know that I haven't seen in probably 25 years!!!! They recognised me and remembered my name. I did recognise her once she said her name but I did have to ask. No harm in that and I explained my mind was elsewhere!!!!

I tried to walk into the security bit without showing my boarding pass but I havent been on a flight in about 2-3 years & had forgotten you do that. Perhaps they should offer all travellers (especially nervous ones) a dummies guide to getting on a plane!!

It felt so surreal. I almost feel like it was a dream. When we took off the first time I really felt quite detached from the situation. This detachment can, in this situation, be helpful. Sometimes deliberately avoiding some thoughts is a good thing. But obviously only in this type of situation. It kept me calmer.

I distracted myself by noticing places I knew. I took pics as well.

I did another first today as I got in a taxi by myself as well.
I found the office I was going to ok.
Phew.
I just can't believe it.

Do you know what? I have to say this.....

THE FEAR OF DOING IT WAS MOST DEFINITELY WORSE THAN DOING THE THING ITSELF. SO WHEN YOU HEAR PEOPLE SAY THAT, ACTUALLY THEY ARE PROBABLY RIGHT.

[ElizabethJane]

Well done Tessar. Love from EJ xx

[almamatters]

So pleased for you Tessar, well done :hugs: xx

[Spot-the-frog]

WoW well done! That was something you should be very proud of, you did brilliantly - huge pat on the back for you!! Yay! :D

[kittikat]

Well done, what a fantastic achievement :yesyes: amazing!!

Big hugs to you :bighug1: Kitti :flowers:

[eternally optimistic]

WELL DONE ..... yaaaaaaaaaaa

[Kells81]

Well done-you should be really proud of yourself :yesyes:

[bernie1977]

Brilliant, well done you!

[Bekzie]

That's brilliant Tessar well done!!

[hanj16]

A big well done to you Tessar, thats a real achievement. You should be very proud and as you can tell we're all proud of you here! :bighug1:

[jelly2010]

That is fantastic! Well done Tessar!
J x

[Anxious_gal]

Oh I'm so pleased for you!
I know how nervous you were and I really admired your determination.
Wow what a big day you've had!
Thanks for sharing, it's really inspiring :)

[Annie0904]

Words cannot explain how pleased I am for you that your day went so well.:yahoo::yahoo::yahoo::yahoo::yahoo::yahoo::ya hoo::yahoo::yahoo::yahoo::yahoo::yahoo::yahoo::yah oo::yesyes::yesyes::yesyes::yesyes::yesyes::yesyes ::yesyes::yesyes::yesyes::emot-highfive::emot-highfive::emot-highfive::emot-highfive::emot-highfive::emot-highfive::emot-highfive::emot-highfive::emot-highfive:

[PanchoGoz]

CLEVERR TESSARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! :hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Tessar]

Yay, thank you everybody. It's soooo good to share all this with you all......

It really makes a difference to me being able to share my success. I don't know about anyone else but it makes it possible to challenge myself knowing that there are other people out there who share the same or similar types of fears. That together we can help each other.

When I got to the office, instead of feeling & behaving like a shrinking violet, feeling too shy to ask questions or ask for help, I found myself facing that fear too. Helped alot by a lovely colleague over there who kept an eye on me and took me out at lunchtime. Oh, & when I arrived & left, I knew the director chap would "peck me on the cheek" .... Which when I know it is coming usually makes me want to run a mile, I just let him do it. He's very sweet really.

I still can't get my head around working with such lovely people.

My current mood.... :scared15: :scared15: :yesyes: :yesyes: :blush: :blush: :D :D
I still can't believe it. What a day...... :cloud9: :cloud9: :cloud9: :cloud9: :cloud9: :cloud9:

[lizzie29]

That's amazing, massive well done!!!

[Tessar]

Cheers Lizzie.... I still cant quite believe I did this (and that I plan to do it again)

[dally]

You are brilliant!!
What an achievement!!
You will very deservedly feel euphoric and keep that feeling when you do it again and again.....
Your are soo right. The anticipation is the killer
The actual event is never as bad as we 'think' it will be.
The lesson I hope we all take from your success is to keep going forward
And not one inch backward.
Even for those of us who can barely get out the door. Practice one step out of the door each day until you make it to the end of the path.
Congratulations on you success well done:yahoo:

[jayjoe18]

Wow! Well done Tessar!!!! :yesyes::yesyes::yesyes:

[Tessar]

Thank you dally & jayjoe!!

Much to my surprise, after doing this almost a week ago I do still feel brilliant!! Usually when something goes very well, I get a bit nervous that maybe next time it wont be as good. But there's no point thinking like that. Its my choice to think either in a negative or positive way. I am choosing positive from now on (& if negative rears it's ugly head I will work on telling it to get lost!!).

I am still very pleased with the achievement & I volunteered today to go next week. I would have but I cant do wednesday which is when they needed me to go. This is a real turn up for the books as I hadnt expected to feel quite this positive. But there you go.... it really was worth the effort.

So, Dally, I really am hoping that I will feel euphoric & keep the feeling when I do it again & again..... that is the plan!!

So bugger anticipation, wouldnt it be great it we could all kill that off??
It is so true that the actual event is never as bad as we 'think' it will be.

I know that I'm nowhere near as bad as other people in terms of anxiety (I have had my moments but CBT helped me so much).

By the way, I do feel really triumphant about this but also didnt want to make too much of a big deal about it as I'm so used to people knocking my achievements. What a pleasure it has been not only to enjoy the experience myself & appreciate what I had been through - but also for other people to freely congratulate me & feel so pleased for me. That is almost as important as doing this in the first place. It adds to my self-confidence to know that what I do matters to other people & that they feel happy for me.

I really would encourage everyone to keep going forward & regardless of whether you are someone who can barely get out the door or maybe you are generally ok abut have the odd "moment" of feeling uncomfortable when you have to do something new..... as Dally says....

Practice one step out of the door each day until you make it to the end of the path

You can do it & the rewards really are worth taking the risk, feeling the fear but doing it anyway. And dont forget everyone here at NMP to help hold your hand on the journey up that path.

[Tessar]

Well folks, I am doing trip number seven tomorrow ..... Compared to the first time,,, well, there is no comparison. If there is something you really want to do, but are scared of or fear, I really encourage you to have a go. There is so much you can do but just don't realise it.

[Annie0904]

So proud of you Tessar..wow seventh flight tomorrow!! :D You are an inspiration to us all.

[almamatters]

All the best for tomorrow Tessar, know you will be fine though. I like the advice about doing things even if they scare you, think that is a good recommendation for all of us. :) xxx

[Tessar]

Thanks alma and Annie. It has surprised me how routine these trips seem now. In just a few weeks my perspective has changed alot. I plan to keep doing the trips as well. It gives me a change of scenery for a day every couple of weeks. I know I might get a rough flight at some point but I have survived one if those before. Also I feel that having these trios lined up gives me a focus as well.

[Tessar]

Oh my goodness WHAT A DAY.... I flew for work again 2day but was delayed going. This had a knock on effect on my flight home which was nearly 3hours late..... It really tested my resilience but I survived. I was so late it was dark when I got home. If you'd have told me I'd survive that lot then I probably would have laughed! But doesn't it just show why it's worth testing yourself? Honestly, i caught a bus "on the hop" to get back to town as I knew i'd have to wait several hours in the airport otherwise. Having found the right bus stand at the terminus, the buses werent running smoothly so I had to get a taxi back to the airport instead. this didn't go smoothly either as 2lots of people gazumped me. I queried with the 2nd taxi driver why he was ignoring people queuing round the corner & discovered they need a sign telling people to queue in a different place, after that I made certain I got the next one.
The eventual wait in the terminal was never ending. It was very hard work but it's only happening today isn't it? Tomorrow it's just something I can talk about isn't it? It didn't do me in. I survived. Yippeeeee. I need painkillers for my head and feel ever so tired but I am pleased with what I did.
I came out of myself & spoke to so many people. That happens because in troubles times you pull together with others. I feel I contributed to helping other people today as well.
Cool huh? Off to enjoy a bit of relaxation now. :-)

[Annie0904]

You have done so well Tessar and should be very proud of yourself. You really are an inspiration to others. Today was very challenging for you and you coped so well with it. Have a relaxing evening and a good nights sleep :D

[Tessar]

Thanks Annie. I am sure I will sleep very well indeed.

I must say.... One if the things that made me do some of this stuff today is that finally.... I am beginning to realise if I want the best from life, being a shrinking violet all the time just doesn't get me what I need or want. When I made a break for the bus, it was like "now or never". I just did it. I felt so pleased with myself. Oh and asking if I could move seats on the plane too. It meant sitting somewhere I'd feel more relaxed. Makes a big difference.

So people, you go for it. Because there are times when, if you don't do it for yourself, rightly or wrongly there might not be anyone to do it for you.

[Tessar]

Been twice more on work trips involving these short flights. Going again next week too. Have now done more flights in the last 6 months than in my whole life. Time before last I felt nervous. Last week I didn't feel that way. I was more relaxed about getting things ready. Instead of checking hundreds of times that I had everything (slight exaggeration!) I only looked down my checklist a couple of times. Now that is progress. I enjoyed the flights too. Still nervous of course but these experiences are making me feel so much more capable, self-confident & independent. I am doing this for myself. Taking a big responsibility for my job & it is really paying off. If anyone had said to me a few months back that I'd feel this much better about flying, albeit short flights, I'd have laughed (nervously)!! But it's true. Of course I still have moments up there in the air that I think, err I didn't like that or it sets my pulse racing but I survive those moments & just move on.

[Annie0904]

You are an inspiration to us all Tessar :)

[Tessar]

thank you! annie!!! :hugs: