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Hello Everybody, I had panic attacks a few years ago, and I know I had them as bad as they can get and was even housebound so I don't want anybody saying it's different for them.I know if your looking up websites obviously you want to get better.You might feel that there is nothing and you are just waiting for that answer.I dont't care who you are or where you live,there is nothing wrong with you, so get up and stop feeling sorry for yourself and enjoy your life.Go to the shop,go for a walk or do what ever scares you.What are you afraid of? Nothing is going to happen to you physically.I promise you that if you do what your afraid of, you will be able to come back later and post a positive message.I know that in your head your trying to talk yourself out of it,but please,Listen to me.You can have a normal life if you want,and you can feel much closer to achieving that,by going out that door now. I have done it,sometimes it was difficult.But every time I came home,I felt so happy.I know there's gonna be some people,"It's Not That Easy".Honestly,I don't give a crap,I'm not going to listen to them because they are the ones who are panicing.I am the one that got better and I am the one that beat it and I know what is the right thing to do.If you want this gone as much as I did you'll make that step,not that excuse. I want you to tell me how good you feel when you come back later.
Gerry
jollywalrus
23-06-04, 19:32
Don't go into counselling Gerry, but I am glad that you got better.
Christine
Nothing like a "one size fits all" answer to a personal issue (personal being the operative word there!) :(
Well, your post made me chuckle anyway Gerry.
Jim
Gerry,
I do understand what you are trying to do, but you have to realise we are all different people. We all have different personalities and things/situations which make us all panic. If it was easy for everyone just to say that today I will be rid of this panic, do you not think we would all do it.
Do you honestly think we all want to spend our time in fear?
I am pleased that you have overcome your anxiety.
sadie
Hello Gerry,
I am also over my panic and anxiety and I do agree with you that repetition without incident is the way forward. Everyone who has been on this site for a few days or more also knows that.
However, to say there is nothing wrong with youis incorrect. There is a disorder/overload of the nervous system present and whilst we know that it is not a terminal disorder, it can be incredibly disabling and difficult to overcome depending on available energy levels and your current endocrine function to name a couple.
Sometimes when this has been building up over many years or several life events occur within a short space of time, your nervous system does require time to heal and to do as you suggest in the very early days will make matters worse.
I know what is the right thing to do- I'm pleased that you found this out yourself and were successful. Many are not that fortunate, they have bene misdignosed for years, the original issues leading to anxiety are still present hindering recovery and they may have inherited predispositions to this.
None of these prevent anyone doing as you did and recovering but sometimes some people need more support and reassurance than others. As you became housebound yourself, you know exactly how terrifying it can be.
It is easy in hindsight to be so directional and matter of fact, but I remember very well just how hard it was to drive up the motorway alone the first time after panic, I threw up several times within the first few miles and really thought ' this was it' yet I survived and I too pushed back those boundaries until I was free of panic. However, it certainly did not just go overnight.
It takes patience , positivity, proactiveness and persistance.
Thank you for posting and sharing your story. It is always good to hear success stories.
Meg
Sorry guys but I disagree with you, You can make the change if you want.One of you said it's not that simple and my answer isn't for everyone.Well if you came and saw what I did and how I felt,you'd believe me too.The best way to get over it is to do what your afraid of,see that nothing happens, do it again and again and again and tadaaa you realise that there is nothing to be afraid of and your better.I don't mean to be rude,people look for excuses not to do something, thats what these replies suggest to me.I made excuses too but then I just trusted that nothing would happen and it didn't.Everyone here is suffering from panic attacks not physical illnesses. You will not die,you will not faint. Basically you are over reacting to harmless situations.When I say these things,i'm not being mean I just want to help you,but people need the push and if someone doesn't push you you don't take action.When your out and you feel a panic coming on,just think,firstly I can't breath properly because I am nervous.People feel they need to flee or they need to panic...you don't, just carry on and you will be fine.That is what people think when they are short of breath that they need to panic and then deep breath to relax but you don't.If you don't panic your breathing may still be hyperventilating slowly,but this does nothing...it makes you feel light headed but that won't hurt you,you will feel fine in a while.TRUST ME.......say to yourself . NO DANGER....NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO DANGER NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO DANGER......NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO DANGER.keep saying it. I remember walking and I felt that I wasn't taking in air,but I didn't stop,I kept going and going coz I knew it was imaginary and that I wouldn't let fear win.I felt dizzy but I kept going and going,then I got nervous but I kept going....and today I am still going.You are stronger than the fear,and you will last longer than it will.I recommend people read Tony Robbins books to help them.He teaches how to change your thoughts and to find the life you deserve.
Come on People,you can do this.Don't read negative stories about there's no answer.They won't help you,they will encourage negativity.Start small and work your way up and you will be good.If you have never left your house.Walk 2 yards,then when you feel comfortable walk 5,then 10 and keep building and building.Even if you feel you can't go all the way to the shops yet.Do something everyday to help you get freedom from anxiety. Even if it means standing on the doorstep.People who are house bound usually find it bright outside,so just stand at the door for a few minutes and let your eyes adapt to the natural daylight.then you won't feel light headed when you leave. YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Gerry
Hiya Gerry
I do agree with what you are saying about keeping doing things and positive pep talks to yourself. This is how I have managed to do things myself.(practice make sperfect with this 'illness')
You are right, people do look for excuses for the simple reason that this 'illness' scares us more than anything. You said yourself that you made excuses too?, How did you feel in yourself when faced with doing things so that you had to make these excuses?...terrified I bet?
Im so glad you are panic free now but you have obviously got to the 'lightbulb' moment where you can say to yourself 'just go do it'!!!, I guess its just a matter of time until the rest of us on here get to that stage but until then weve got to reach our own 'lightbulb' moments and carry on the best we can.
thanks for your post
sarah
xx
we arent mad, just the next stage of evolution :)
Hi Gerry,
I think you are correct when stating that in order for us to get better, we all have to get out there and try, not sit at home and pity ourselves. However, I do think you need to realise that it's not as easy for some as it is for others. There isn't one remedy that suits everyone!! You seem to be one of the lucky ones and I'm glad you're better but just remember it's not that simple for everyone...
Sarah (seh1980)
Caz Fab Pants
24-06-04, 21:20
Gerry,
I have read all the above and am trying very hard to remain open minded about what you have said and see your comments as positive.
You were obviously very lucky to only feel slightly dizzy when you went out and did the things that made you panic. But just out of curiousity, picture this...
You have just attended your Grandma's funeral which was held in a town approximately a 2hr drive from your home. You are the passenger in a car with 3 other people who are all very upset and trying to put brave faces on. You want nothing more than to get home as quickly as possible because you feel sick, your arm pits are dripping with sweat so you cant take your jacket off and your mind is racing because you have an over whelming feeling to scream and cry.
However you sit in that car, perfectly still, completely quiet and just pray you can keep it together. That's when one of them suggests going for a late lunch in a nearby town.
My heart began to race, my eye's bulged, my stomach began to churn and I was gasping for air. I wound down the window and stuck my head out, only bringing it back in to try and suggest we eat when we get back, that we should make tracks while the traffic was good and basically was as near to begging as I could be without getting down on my knees.
However, a call was made to the other two cars in convoy behind us and they all agreed we would meet up in a TFI Friday's restaurant which was about 5miles in the opposite direction.
Out of control just doesn't do justice to the way I was feeling. I couldn't eat because I could barely swallow, it was like torture, I sat horrified when I saw how big their meals were and became rigid with fear as I worried how long it would take them to eat it. I cried in the toilets most of the time and then after hearing some of the others saying I was selfish for being 'moody' and spoiling it for everyone I sat in the car shaking and rocking.
I was in such a state that even once we were on the way home I had to have my head out of the window even though it was freezing, I took my boots and socks off to try and cool down, I was unable to talk to anybody because I had gone into a state of shock and had to stop at almost every petrol station because I had diahorrea.
When I got home I barely had the strength to get out the car. Once inside the front door I cried for what must of been HOURS, trying to confort myself by saying out loud 'its ok, you're home now, its ok.'
That was the last time I made that journey and was a turning point in my life for the worse.
I didn't faint or die but do you think if I had taken your advice and done the same journey the next day I would of 'got over it'. Would I??? I can tell you now, if someone had told me that day that I had to make that same journey the following day I would probably of taken my own life.
Caroline - still battling with panic attacks and agoraphobia
x
I completely agree with your principles.It how I got better too.
However you need to recognise that not everyone has the inate ability or the inner will to be like Shackleton or Edmund Hillary and that is what it seems that it takes to conquer this for many people.
I have a question about your line - 'Don't read negative stories about there's no answer'
Where have you seen any negative stories like that on this forum ?
I firmly believe in little steps and encouraging methods and not the flooding effect as you suggest. I find flooding doesn't hold true long term, but just puts the systems under further strain as it strives to just cope and not having any chance to recover.
Meg
'There can only be true courage when first there is genuine fear'
Dr.David Livingstone
Well Gerry
Having had a really good read, I can see both points of view.
However on a personal level, I've done the No deep breathing, just pop a tranq, take my meds and handle the fear.
I did the no-fear thing and it worked wonders I recovered fully in 6 months.
Then 4 years later I found myself back where I started only this time 200% worse. In words of my CPN, I obviously didn't tackle the problem correctly the first time.
I can appreciate the fact that avoidance is not the answer, and to start small and build up.
Again on a personal level, when someone tells you, you are over reacting and to snap out of it, as there is nothing wrong with you, it makes you want to smack them in the mouth. Yes okay it is not a terminal illness, but some of the symptoms of panic disorder can mimick illness incredibly well, terrifying you to death and make you geniunely think there is something very wrong with you, when in truth it is only panic symptoms.
We know we are over reacting to harmless situations.
But everyone is different and handles panic disorders in their own way.
The only negative posts I have seen is when a new member joins and they are asking for help. - I know I was one of those new members.
Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.
[:p]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'
jollywalrus
25-06-04, 06:41
Dear Gerry,
I have read your second post and like the first it is too agressive and makes me feel like a pathetic wimp. I go out every day and face my fears and what I need is general encouragement and hope, not being made to feel totally inadequate.
I'm glad you got better, but if everything is ok in your life now, why are you even on a panic forum? I know I would try and leave it all behind.
Christine
I too face up to the fears everyday.
I work, go shopping etc BUT the anxiety and panic are always present.
We are all individuals in whoem panic presents itself in many and various ways.
Personal life experiences also have a great bearing on how we deal with our panic.
Unfortunately, your postings just serve to fuel the inadequacies which we all feel.
Kate
Hey Gerry, perhaps people with clinical depression should just cheer up eh as it's all in the mind?
By stating there is no physical problem is actually going against what many psychiatrist and psychologists are now coming to believe. More and more research is showing that there are definite differences in the appearance and chemistry of the brain in people with anxiety - OCD especially. Whether these changes are due to the anxiety or BECAUSE or the anxiety, this issue is still under debate but the point is anxiety and panic is a very real disorder and certainly not just in the mind.
All this doesn't mean that people cannot help themselves and definitely doesn't mean that they can't be 'cured'. It just means that, as we do here, anxiety should be taken as seriously as every other mental disorder/ illness and people should not be told simply to snap out of it.
Emily
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit
Understanding is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad
Hiya,
I just read this topic and I think it is great that Gerry is better!! Everyone is trying to get 'better' (although can we get better if there is nothing wrong with us Gerry?)
Can i say gerry that alot of points you made were good but were lost on me because of the arrogance (i'm not sure if this is the right word but best I can come up with at the moment) of some of you post
I've been told to 'pull yourself together' 'get a grip' and all the rest but guess what, it was the gentle persuasion of friends (and I include the people on this site of course!)that helped me get through, sometimes people had to be tougher on me and give me a 'push' but I got there in the end and i would NEVER tell anyone that this doesn't exist because i (like you Gerry) have been there and know how very 'REAL' IT IS!
Because some people take longer or have different methods to you then it doesn't make them weaker people it's because we are so fundamentally different.
If people could get 'better' with the kind of sayings you use then we would all be 'normal' as we have all (and i'm sure i speak for most people) been told to get off our butts and there is nothing wrong.
personally i am going to continue giving support to people like I have always done and how it was given to me. With encouragement, praise and kindness.
Lucky
Well Gerry,
as someone said I wouldn't bother to try councelling if I were you:D.
I very much believe in self help and facing the demons which I have done but also in this brilliant site where people come to be encouraged [and to encourage others] and not to wallow in self pity as you seem to imply.
Great that you are better, I feel better too but am very much aware that others don't and need encouragement and not being made to feel small as you seem to be doing.
Tess
Caz Fab Pants
25-06-04, 20:57
Apologies to ALL for my rant earlier in this thread but I just found some of Gerry's words inappropriate and thoughtless. I realise I was being a little dramatic but only in an attempt to get the point across that what is good for one is not always good for another. We are all individuals who've had different experiences, have different fears, have different lives and ultimately have different ways of dealing with things.
I, like some of the other members, was left feeling inadequate and pathetic after reading this thread.
I would like more than anything to get over my fears which is why I chip away at them, albeit bit by bit, every single day. I am not, as Gerry put it, 'feeling sorry for myself.'
I also found it offensive that in the original thread Gerry wrote, 'I dont give a crap, I'm not listening to them because they're the ones who are panicking. I'm the one that got better, I'm the one that beat it and I know the right thing to do!!!!!'
Does that mean that us 'panickers' are not worth listening to and dont know what we're talking about? If so then answer me this Gerry, why are you posting in a forum called 'No More Panic' which is full of people who suffer from panic attacks? Surely, as Jolly Wallrus (love that name) pointed out, if you're OVER IT then why are you here? If its to share your wisdom for the benefit of others I suggest you take a different approach. You seem to have achieved little more than upset by, as I see it, rubbing our noses in the fact that you are better and we are not.
I wish you all the best for the future and hope you never have the misfortune of having a relapse. (Things may not be so easy the second time round.)
jollywalrus
25-06-04, 21:42
Brilliant post! I'd add my name to it if I could!
nomorepanic
26-06-04, 00:27
Hi all
I am just back from holiday and this post was bought to my attention so I am replying to this one even though I am way behind with posts - got 97 to look at now!
I appreciate Gerrys comments and I do agree with some of them but I felt that as a first post it was a bit harsh.
People grow to repsect others in here and they appreciate their comments and advice. What Gerry said may have been some sort of shock therapy but it would have been nicer to see a general intro and then this advice.
To come into my message forum and bombard people with this sort of info is inappropriate (in my opinion) and no-one has gained trust or respect for you Gerry.
I do not disagree with all you say I am just saying that people build friendships and trusts in here and to come in and tell everyone how easy it is to be cured is not a way of making those lasting friendships and trust.
Please try to be a bit more sensitive and dont ram things down peoples throats. We all need time to get better and you sounded very insensitive in your approach.
We value your advice on here but please be a little more sensitive to people that can't just "get up and do it".
I try to push people on here but only after I earn and deserve their trust. As a newcomer you seem very agressive. Please take a step back and offer us solutions that don't seem so agressive.
I appreciate your comments but please try to remember we have members at different stages of recovery so don't assume we can all just DO it.
Nicola
personal life experiances change us .. i keep thinking if i hadnt been bullied as a child would i be able to beat this more easily than i am doing... people that are bullied are less likely to fight back .. i understand what you are saying gerry fight back and reclaim what we once had but it is not that easy when you are not used to fighting. i travel onthe bus even though i am scared stiff, i havent been able yet to make the whole journey but i am pleased evey time i can make half the journey .. small steps .. i dont want to be mean and i know you are trying to help but the whole tone of your message makes me feel like a wimp and i am not a wimp .. i am just a person that has a disorder .. and i am not ashamed of it , just like you wouldn't be ashamed of a broken arm , i have looked on other sites relating to panic attacks and they have a lot to say about being ashamed.. some are ashamed of telling friends and soem will not tell their boss.. my boss knows and all my friends know , i am not ashamed because it is not something that is my fault and by making it something secret it becomes somethign to be ashamed of .
liz
( ps my boss is very understandingand if i need to be somewhere quiet to calm myself down and breath more .. he is ok with that .. sometimes if you tell people it is better as they knoew where you are comming from and they know what they can do to help )
you cant give that answer to everyone with panic, it affects people in different ways, what happens when i go out and i cant swallow, am i meant to be there on my own and choke on my own? dont think so
H
I think we all know what the answer is.
We must panic
We must learn that panic will not kill us, no matter how nasty it is
We must learn to accept that we suffer panic attacks
We must learn to relax and breathe deeply and learn to cope
We must learn to take small steps and not give up
We must deal with the times when we don't feel that good
Only then can we regain our confidence and try to live a normal life
Everyone is different and it takes as long as it takes.
Thanks for the advice Gerry, But I think on this one I will take my own advice. :D
Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.
[:p]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'
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