i need your help - desperately

[lifesfighter92]

Good evening , you may have seen my past posts about my everyday struggle with anxiety , I am nearly 21 years old , I have had anxiety all my life in the for of GAD , but never as bad as this , it is also presenting as depression which I have never had before , as you may already have read about me , I am a keen boxer and loved training , up until the last few weeks or so , I have suddenly become extremely frightened and scared to spar , in my last sparring session I was battered , this then made me decide that after the years of training , my mental health has got the better of me and I can no longer hop into the ring , boxing is the only thing I had that helped keep my anxiety at bay , now I no longer have it , because I am too frightened a and living in complete fear, I don't have any friends , I don't have a girlfriend and more so I get nervous around all other members of my family apart from my siblings and parents, I was born with a congenital thyroid disorder which rendered me infertile , nobody knows I have GAD & depression or how it is ruining my life , but my family are the only people keeping me together and they don't even know it , I am a young man with a broken heart and I have nobody to talk to , please help x

[lior]

Aw darling. Sounds like you have been through an awful lot.

Boxing sounds like something that can be a bit psychologically dangerous to begin with, but if it used to help you, that's great. I don't really have any experience with fighting sports, but I do know that people in the army can start to behave in strange ways and devalue life etc through the trauma of having to fight.

At different times in life, different things will be right for you. You will find something else to replace boxing, at least for now. Can you engage with it in a different way? Maybe watching/training others to box?

I bet you do have friends - get back in touch with someone you haven't been in touch with for a while. That often helps.

Maybe you could join some other kind of interest club outside of boxing. Running? Golf? Chess? Mozart appreciation? Doing that is a good way of making friends, and a good way of spending time. What are you interested in?

It can be scary to start something new, but once you've started, it gets easier. And it's really worth it. Maybe you can get one of your siblings to come with you for the first time.

And don't worry about not having a girlfriend. If you do fun things where girls might be, you'll meet someone eventually :) there's no rush.

Good luck!

[lifesfighter92]

Thankyou for you're reply Lior :) I really appreciate your help , I really don't have any true friends , my siblings are well , 8 years old and the other is 19 and away with the forces , I really am alone , I don't want to let go of boxing though ,I'm currently doing a levels and I want to go to uni to do sport , I feel like a failure though , my dad bought me new gloves etc and I feel like iv let him down , I am at an all time low , my self esteem has hit the floor , I have no confidence and have self loathing to the max , I always think I am not good enough and that my family should be ashamed of me , I can feel my heart ripping down the middle , why me x

[LauraJF]

I know how difficult it is to struggle with anxiety but if you can keep going back to boxing you can get past this so don't let your anxiety stop you. You can feel this way and still box. I hope that makes some sense. Have you tried CBT? Or read a Claire Weekes book?

If you can accept the way you feel knowing that it's just anxiety and won't hurt you, you can allow the feelings of anxiety to flow through you which will be followed by a feeling of calm. The feelings of anxiety can even make you a better boxer. Imagine what all that adrenaline can do for you in a positive way and remember that without anxiety we can become too relaxed. I imagine that if you can let go of your fear and accept the anxiety for what it is, just anxiety and nothing dangerous you can get your confidence back and excel at boxing.

Remember when you go for training you are there to practice and not to test yourself. :hugs:


Good evening , you may have seen my past posts about my everyday struggle with anxiety , I am nearly 21 years old , I have had anxiety all my life in the for of GAD , but never as bad as this , it is also presenting as depression which I have never had before , as you may already have read about me , I am a keen boxer and loved training , up until the last few weeks or so , I have suddenly become extremely frightened and scared to spar , in my last sparring session I was battered , this then made me decide that after the years of training , my mental health has got the better of me and I can no longer hop into the ring , boxing is the only thing I had that helped keep my anxiety at bay , now I no longer have it , because I am too frightened a and living in complete fear, I don't have any friends , I don't have a girlfriend and more so I get nervous around all other members of my family apart from my siblings and parents, I was born with a congenital thyroid disorder which rendered me infertile , nobody knows I have GAD & depression or how it is ruining my life , but my family are the only people keeping me together and they don't even know it , I am a young man with a broken heart and I have nobody to talk to , please help x

[John Harvey Kellogg]

Firstly, I would find it very hard to believe that your thyroid disorder does not have some effect on your anxiety. Secondly, the answer to anxiety does not lie in finding ways round it. What you have to do is learn to not be afraid of the anxiety itself. I know you will be aware of loads of self help books, but you have to read one called Self Help for Your Nerves, by a woman called Claire Weekes. In the first page she says: If you follow the advice in this work, YOU WILL BE CURED. Whilst I would never promise cure on anyone, all I can say is that I had a breakdown at 18, was ill for over a decade, always running from my anxiety, and then I read this book. Not only did it give me the self belief I needed to come off the drugs, it gave me strength to deal with a second (physical) breakdown (entirely cause by a year of weaning off medication) and here I am typing this, happier than I ever thought it would be possible to be. The other thing you should read is Adrenal Fatigue by Dr James Wilson. Follow the dietary advice in that book (cut out sugar). Also go on youtube and use the guided meditations on there every single night before you go to sleep. And finally, understand that all negative thoughts about yourself, about others, all bad moods, all down days, are chemical. They are imbalances in hormones, usually caused by stress (chemical, physical or mental), and with the right food, sleep, attitude, exercise, and and the right approach to stress (don't kill yourself working!) they will rebalance. I am living proof. Good luck mate, it takes hard work, but you have to start somewhere. Get the books, read them, believe them. See what happens. You never know until you try.