getting weirder and scarier

[Eek]

So the last couple of nights after two nights of no sleep at all I've got a little of what could be sleep but i'm not sure. The last few weeks coming off my olanzapine pills I've had intermittent sleep with constant waking after 20 mins or so equalling about one to three hours a night. Because I'm sleeping so little I've had a lot of dreams, my brain probably trying to cram in the REM sleep to what little sleep I'm getting. Well the last couple of nights have been similar but with no dreams and no feeling of going to sleep or waking up, just time passing without me realising so I'm guessing I'm asleep. What worries me is that I may not actually be falling asleep but passing out, that my brain has been damaged by my pills and is now making me pass out at night. I have no recollection of any dreams for the last two nights at all even though they've been rife for the past four weeks. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I thought it would have been getting better by now after nearly 5 weeks but it's not improving, though I've read some people can take three months or so to get their sleeping back.

I'm really worried that I'm passing out at night now not sleeping

[littleme92]

I dream a lot when I sleep and I almost always fall into a dream straight away. Sometimes I feel exactly like you have just discribed about not knowing if you have slept or not when you have not had a dream. I think it is probably just the anxiety playing tricks with us. I can't comment about olanzapine because I have never been on them but I am on citalopram and I think that may have affected my sleep because I didn't dream as much before I started them. If you are worried perhaps it might be better going to see a doctor to put your mind at rest.

[Eek]

thanks for the reply. My doctors are useless. I've spoken to both my doctor and psych about my insomnia. My GP tried me on some temazepam but it did nothing and didn't help me sleep at all so he told me to see my psych about it who just dismissed it and wanted to put me on klonopin permanently for my anxiety, which I won't take as I'm not getting addicted to benzos. I took them for a couple of nights to see if they helped with my sleep but they didn't. I've just got to hope that the effects of the olanzapine (zyprexa) on my brain aren't permanent now I've stopped taking them and that my sleep will eventually come back to normal, but for the moment I'm terrified that my brain has been damaged by the drugs.

[Lilharry]

I have crazy mental dreams all the time, but the nights where I can't remember what's happened usually means I've had a good sleep. Just because you don't remember your dreams some nights doesn't mean you didn't have any. I find it a relief when I can't remember because my dreams are always so vivid and strange. I would try not to worry about it.

[Eek]

It's not just the fact that I have no dreams, it's the fact that I can't feel myself wake or fall asleep, I'm not aware of it like I was before I withdrew from the tablets, it's just like there's a black hole in time during which I guess I must have slept but am worried I'm actually passing out somehow as I no longer get that nice gentle feeling of falling asleep or the gradual feeling of waking up.

[cattia]

I think what you're describing is pretty normal when you are very tired. Kind of like if you've ever passed out from drinking too much, it might feel a bit like you've been unconscious but it doesn't mean you haven't slept. I think you are so anxious about the long term effects of withdrawal from the med that it's impossible for your anxiety not to be a part of this as well as the drug withdrawal. I'm sure that your sleep will returnn to normal eventually, but obviously the effects of sleep deprivation are bad for your anxiety, there must be something you can take with SSRIs to help you get through this patch?

[littleme92]

I really doubt your brain has been damaged because I can totally relate to that black hole not knowing if you've slept feeling and my brain isn't damaged. It also is probably the withdrawal effects so hopefully it will pass soon. I think the more you worry about it the more you will feel like this. My sleep is always worse when my anxiety is worse!

[Lilharry]

I do know what you mean and to be honest I think most people sleep like that. To me it sounds like a good deep sleep and nothing to worry about.

[Eek]

thanks for the replies.
I would think it was a deep sleep if it lasted for more than an hour. These black holes in time only last about an hour then I'm awake for an hour or so then I get another hour of this type of sleep and this continues through the night. It's weird and feels really wrong.

So scared right now.

[Lissa101]

Eek, I came off Sertraline around a month ago after taking forever to taper down bit by bit. I still have pretty bad insomnia and my sleep pattern is all over the place. It makes it really hard to get through the day, especially if I've had a few bad nights on the trot. But I'm looking forward to having a good nights sleep with no crazy med-induced dreams and nightmares in the future when the insomnia goes (and it will!). Try to keep focused on the end point and the reason why you're going through this x