why couldnt i help :(

[busybee09]

Well i was okay this morning, went into town with my friend and infront of us a few shops down an old woman was on the floor face down! There were people just stood there starring , one guy was on his phone to the ambulance (i hope) and another guy put her into the recovery.

Since seeing that i feel so sad and a bit dizzy, i'm so dissapointed in myself that i didn't/couldn't help because if that was my nan i would have been in there like superwoman. I wish i was more conifdent to use my natural insticts to help rather than just standing around hoping that she'll be okay.


Im home now and just want to sleep/cry :(

[jelly2010]

Oh love - don't beat yourself up about this. It is so so common to just 'freeze' when you encounter something scary/unexpected/shocking etc. It's a natural response because you might fear doing the wrong thing and making the situation worse or you are just in a state of shock and are UNABLE to do anything.

I once was on a crowded bus, during the morning commute, when a man threw his female partner to the floor and started strangling her until she handed something over. Everyone froze as it was so shocking. I really wish I could have done something to intervene but even a big burly man standing right behind the couple just stood there taken aback.

Some people are able to just act on instinct and jump right in. Not being able to doesn't make you a bad or unfeeling person! There were people there helping this lady but I am pretty confident that had it just been you and her, you would have been able to help.

It's been an upsetting incident but please try not to dwell on it. You didn't do anything wrong.
J x

[shakey1961]

Hi Natty. Why beat yourself up over it? If you said a guy was on the phone to the ambulance and another had her in the recovery position what more could you have done? Seems to me she was being tended to.

How do you know those two people weren't off duty doctors or ambulance people?

And what would you have done "Oh excuse me, can everyone step aside as I want to take control of the situation, the rest of you go off home while I tend to it"

She was well taken care of by the people there.

I'm sure she's ok. You can't tend to every poor soul you see. No doubt if you'd been first on the scene you'd have got stuck in.

If you have a faith, why not say a prayer for the lady. It can't do any harm and may do some good.

You also felt concerned, that's a good thing, better than walking by on the other side of the road!

I once had to play some music for some kids in a special school. They had mental and physical disabilities, some of them were rocking and others shouting. Some needed attending to, but what could I do. I thought the staff there are trained far better than I am so leave it to them.

Sometimes, as they say, less is more. The lady didn't need 10 people around her trying to help her. 2 people one on the phone to the ambulance and the other keeping her safe and warm is all that was needed.

[Uncertain27]

You did the right thing OP by not getting in the way because there were already people there. I would help if no-one else was or they obviously didn't know what they were doing, but ignore it otherwise. :)

[theharvestmouse]

Had a similar but potentially worse situation a few months back and I still feel awful for not being more helpful.

I witnessed a car crash on a country lane, car skidded on ice into a ditch at speed. I was in the garden next to the ditch, I went to look through the ditch and saw what had happened. Then I knocked on the door of the house I where I was working and told the owner that there's been an accident. I walked into the road and a young woman had got out and was crying, but luckily she wasn't hurt, just in shock.

I wanted to be able to comfort her, and I just didn't know how to because of my stupid social anxiety, an older lady had come out from another house and put her arm around her.

I felt awful afterwards, I should have run to the car the second it happened, she could have been trapped, it could have set on fire, anything, and it would have been my fault if I didn't do more to help.

I still think about this and it makes me so angry with myself, its not like I was worried about anything happening, its purely the social awkwardness I feel in certain situations.