Feeling sorry for myself!

[Bec1664]

Hi, I've only just joined the site, although I have been reading stuff on here for a while.

I feel at an all time low today, I suffer with Panic attacks and now believe I am agoraphobic. I feel very alone, ashamed and very very sad. I've let my family down today by letting my fears ruin what was supposed to be a lovely family day out.

I am really at the end of my tether, I just want to be ok again :-(

[flori]

hi Bec and :welcome:

You have nothing to be ashamed about. although I have felt I have let people down too, through cancelling outings. My family and friends have accepted I am like this and I`m sure yours do too. Are you on medication or at CTB therapy.

[jelly2010]

Bec,
Welcome to the site. I am sorry to hear of what you are going through. It's really difficult but please know you are NOT alone. Although we don't know you in person, everyone here is going through similar situations and are here to help each other out. I joined back in April and people have been so caring, friendly and supportive so please feel free to PM me or post about your worries and problems - people will respond.

I can sympathise about the feeling of letting people down - it's really an awful feeling but know it's not your fault. If you were able to magically feel better and force yourself to do the things you want to do then you would. The way you are feeling is not a choice and I fully believe we can overcome and manage our difficulties. It's not a quick nor easy progress but we can get there.

Wishing you all the best,
J x

[Bec1664]

Thanks guys, what a lovely welcome!

No, I'm not on any meds or having any therapy. The Doc gave me tablets a while ago, but I didn't take them. This was mostly down to finishing some other medication I was on (for migraines) and fear of what they would make me feel like as the last thing I needed was to feel any worse!

[flori]

I totally understand where you are coming from. I have a fear when starting new meds too.
Will they make me worse, will I have a bad reaction? But since you are feeling really low, why don`t you try them. They might make you feel better.

[Bec1664]

Being totally honest (which I always am) I've got myself into a very naughty habit, If I want to go out anywhere (socially not work thank goodness) I have to have some Dutch courage, if I take the tablets I won't be able to drink therefore I will probably never go out.

I read this and feel ridiculous as I know it is a stupid thing to do, that being said I can't seem to stop it, I'm in a vicious circle!

[Spot-the-frog]

You are not ALONE, I am right there with you. I know what it is like letting people down, but if they care for you they will understand, just try and tell them how you are feeling. I would also go and chat to your GP and maybe see about getting referred for counselling.
Things will improve, not every day will be a bad day x

[Bec1664]

You are not ALONE, I am right there with you. I know what it is like letting people down, but if they care for you they will understand, just try and tell them how you are feeling. I would also go and chat to your GP and maybe see about getting referred for counselling.
Things will improve, not every day will be a bad day x

Aw, thanks. To be fair my family, in particular my Husband are really cool with it and he tries to help me the best he can, it's me that gives me a hard time! xx

[flori]

That`s good you have a supporting husband. Are you not allowed a drink with your meds.

[shotokansho]

Hello there!
As lots of people said, you are certainly not alone. There are many people on here that will be happy to respond and send you lots of advice. I think lots of people with anxiety and depression, and many other mental health issues blame themselves for things. I know I often get into that trap, blaming myself for being ill and causing problems for other people. It's a vicious circle really. I have been admitted to the mental health unit 9 times times since 2009 and have been lifted by the police on section 136's 6 times. I don't do it on purpose, but I still blame myself and feel terribly guilty when it happens because I feel I have let my family down.
I must tell you that a course of CAT therapy has really helped me to work alongside my medication. I will agree that making an appointment with your GP will help. really hope you feel better soon.
Kez xx

[Bec1664]

That`s good you have a supporting husband. Are you not allowed a drink with your meds.

I honestly don't know, I presumed I couldn't? x