Does everyone's family act like this?

[Uncertain27]

I'm not sure if this is unfair or if I should lighten up. :unsure:
We moved house last week. I just came back from the shops and my brother asked me who left the basement door open. When I said I didn't know, he told me they were still down there and that a big knife he left on the shelf had disappeared. I was freaking out and he said 'Oh, I was kidding."
I mentioned on another thread that I'm really scared I might have lymphoma. I was telling my mum about it and my brother said "Did you stay up to dwell on all your tumours?" and laughed. Also when we heard some sort of alarm going off outside he said it was probably the four-minute warning and we'd been nuked by Iran.
My mum also says I do it for attention half the time, and my dad shouts at me for looking upset because it 'causes aggro' or 'is a hissy fit' even when I have been threatened by the local thug (which I actually had, I wasn't just scared of something normal).

:huh:

[flori]

If you are an anxious and easily scared person, I would say no, your brother shouldn`t say they sort of things to you. And if you confided in your mum about your fear of lymphoma then your brother should never have been told.
Do you get any sort of treatment.

[Tessar]

Hmmm, this sounds a very familiar story to me, as I had this kind of unpleasant treatment curtesy of my family too (two brothers said these kind of things to me and one in particular was really cruel in what he came out with).
Fortunately for most people, not all families are like this.
Do sadly for some reason, your family are not really being very understanding or supportive of you.
Your brother is playing in your anxiety when actually, as your brother, he should be more understanding of you and be caring.
It really winds me up when families are like this. Your brother is an idiot. Sorry to be blunt but he is. Basically he is bullying you and it's out of line.
The trouble is, if you react, then you get it in the neck. An all too familiar situation for many.
At the moment I don't have a simple solution for you as I know families are complicated. There can be many things influencing your parents and sometimes unfortunately, when you need support and understanding most, the timing is such that your parents, shall we say, are not in the mood to listen or provide comfort or understanding. Their lack of patience does little to alleviate your stress but does not always indicate they don't care.
Out of interest, do your parents know how much teasing and unkind things your brother is doing? I on,y ask because in my situation, I assumed my parents were fully aware that my brothers were being cruel to me and I assumed they didn't care enough to step in, now decades later, my parents tell me they weren't aware. I don't know whether to believe them .
What I will say is this. That whole 4-minute warning thing is exactly the sort of thing my brother would have come out with. I know how scary it feels when someone does this to you.
The trouble is, he knows exactly how to get to you. He knows how to push your buttons.
In my day, I wish I could have stood up to my brother but I didn't have the stature or strength if mind. But looking back, I can see there were things I could have done to minimise how much he got to me.
He fed on seeing me feel weak or scared.
If I could have found a way to just laugh at some of what he said, I wonder If that might have out him off a bit. Since what he wanted to see was me squirming in fear.
If I didn't deliver what it was that drove him to teasing me (I.e. a reaction based I'm emotions, particularly fear) then maybe he would just have gone away, who knows
I'm hoping this helps a little, but I do relate strongly to your situation.

Lastly, many years after I got strong enough to stop my brother teasing me, I ended up laughing at him because he just seemed so pathetic to me when once again he tried to tease me. He really didn't like being laughed at. In that moment, I felt years and Years of frustration evaporate. He really didn't like me Being Light heartened when he was anticipating my old reaction! So I had done it, I was free from his clutches. Maybe too so, that'll be you!!

[Uncertain27]

Hmmm, this sounds a very familiar story to me, as I had this kind of unpleasant treatment curtesy of my family too (two brothers said these kind of things to me and one in particular was really cruel in what he came out with).
Fortunately for most people, not all families are like this.
Do sadly for some reason, your family are not really being very understanding or supportive of you.
Your brother is playing in your anxiety when actually, as your brother, he should be more understanding of you and be caring.
It really winds me up when families are like this. Your brother is an idiot. Sorry to be blunt but he is. Basically he is bullying you and it's out of line.
The trouble is, if you react, then you get it in the neck. An all too familiar situation for many.
At the moment I don't have a simple solution for you as I know families are complicated. There can be many things influencing your parents and sometimes unfortunately, when you need support and understanding most, the timing is such that your parents, shall we say, are not in the mood to listen or provide comfort or understanding. Their lack of patience does little to alleviate your stress but does not always indicate they don't care.
Out of interest, do your parents know how much teasing and unkind things your brother is doing? I on,y ask because in my situation, I assumed my parents were fully aware that my brothers were being cruel to me and I assumed they didn't care enough to step in, now decades later, my parents tell me they weren't aware. I don't know whether to believe them .
What I will say is this. That whole 4-minute warning thing is exactly the sort of thing my brother would have come out with. I know how scary it feels when someone does this to you.
The trouble is, he knows exactly how to get to you. He knows how to push your buttons.
In my day, I wish I could have stood up to my brother but I didn't have the stature or strength if mind. But looking back, I can see there were things I could have done to minimise how much he got to me.
He fed on seeing me feel weak or scared.
If I could have found a way to just laugh at some of what he said, I wonder If that might have out him off a bit. Since what he wanted to see was me squirming in fear.
If I didn't deliver what it was that drove him to teasing me (I.e. a reaction based I'm emotions, particularly fear) then maybe he would just have gone away, who knows
I'm hoping this helps a little, but I do relate strongly to your situation.

Lastly, many years after I got strong enough to stop my brother teasing me, I ended up laughing at him because he just seemed so pathetic to me when once again he tried to tease me. He really didn't like being laughed at. In that moment, I felt years and Years of frustration evaporate. He really didn't like me Being Light heartened when he was anticipating my old reaction! So I had done it, I was free from his clutches. Maybe too so, that'll be you!!
Thanks. I'm sorry your family was like that. My brother isn't as bad as yours, he's alright most of the time but thinks it's funny to scare people. (Although it turned out a few of the things he told me about the new neighbours were true, I just thought he was having me on :scared15:). I wish he would stop joking about nuclear war though.
My dad is not impatient to me personally, he just shouts at people about any reason he can possibly find, usually the housework but also things like Syria and a shooting in America, which I think is completely unfair as we aren't even on the same continent, let alone to blame! :dry:

[granny85]

Sounds to me like it's your brother and Dad who have the problem - not you! Best of luck! Leave them if you can x