How do you make other people truly understand?

[Snoodlester]

I had a really bad panic attack last week and it's taken me a while to recover from it. I emailed cbt4panic to get some advice and they hit the nail right on the head.

If you haven't already seen, one of my fears is travelling. When I first came to my parents we were going off places regularly and the gradual exposure helped. Before last week we hadn't been out anywhere in the car for over a week. Then the day we decide to go, I wasn't feeling well but I decided to push myself. That's when I had my panic on a particularly bad bit of road for me.

I explained this to my parents and they seemed to understand. I said the key is gradual regular exposure. I thought great I understand, now they understand. But then not half hour later they said we're going to Bristol tomorrow, you coming? This has always been a rough ride for me and with my recent panic on part of this road I couldn't believe it! I've also had to leave my car in Bristol
as I haven't been able to do this drive for a few years. Dad said maybe we should get your car down here that might help - you can drive it! I said I'd love to but... But what? He said!

How can you make other people really know what's helpful and what's not without feeling crap about it all the time?

[Liviguy]

I strongly believe that if they have never experienced it themselves then they are never going to truly understand what it's like.

[jelly2010]

I had a really bad panic attack last week and it's taken me a while to recover from it. I emailed cbt4panic to get some advice and they hit the nail right on the head.

If you haven't already seen, one of my fears is travelling. When I first came to my parents we were going off places regularly and the gradual exposure helped. Before last week we hadn't been out anywhere in the car for over a week. Then the day we decide to go, I wasn't feeling well but I decided to push myself. That's when I had my panic on a particularly bad bit of road for me.

I explained this to my parents and they seemed to understand. I said the key is gradual regular exposure. I thought great I understand, now they understand. But then not half hour later they said we're going to Bristol tomorrow, you coming? This has always been a rough ride for me and with my recent panic on part of this road I couldn't believe it! I've also had to leave my car in Bristol
as I haven't been able to do this drive for a few years. Dad said maybe we should get your car down here that might help - you can drive it! I said I'd love to but... But what? He said!

How can you make other people really know what's helpful and what's not without feeling crap about it all the time?

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately I kind of agree with Liviguy - unless someone has experienced the fears/panics/anxiety it's hard for them to truly understand.

However I don't think your parents are trying to make you feel uncomfortable or being vindictive. My husband often tries to push me to do things I don't feel comfortable with, I believe in the hope that I will feel better once I've done it. I've tried to explain that I really WANT to but I CAN'T!
It's hard but I think the only way to deal with it is just try and keep explaining how it all makes you feel and remember they just want to help you (although they might go about it the wrong way at times!)
:hugs:
J x

[Spot-the-frog]

I really feel for you. 8 weeks ago I came down with depression, anxiety, panic attacks the lot and my family were brilliant. After 6 weeks I started to pick up (with the help of citalopram) and started to go out a bit, in fact I probably did too much then last Friday had a massive anxiety attack and it has all come crashing down. Back to nearly square 1. I am now finding that my family are not as supportive, I tried to explain this is not something that is going away in 10 minutes. I have had it all my life on and off. My daughter seems to think I should just 'get over it', she really doesn't understand. My partner is being really good as is my sister, but my parents certainly can't get their heads around it.....

[Jon Dimond]

I also think it's incredibly difficult for those people that don't suffer mental illness to understand how it affects those of us that do.

I'm very lucky in the respect that my family are very understanding. My mum has witnessed my problems since I was 14 and understands that it can completely dibilitate me at times. She was pretty upset to see me going through this again after suffering on and off for 17 years.

I also have a very close friend who suffers with similar issues, so I can chat to them about it and they understand.

I guess you just have to try and explain...

[Snoodlester]

I know what you mean Spot. When this became a real problem, my parents were really supportive and understanding, actually they still are, but now the weeks have gone on I think they just don't know why it's going on so long. Although they do know that I've been trying everything and anything to get myself better.

Jon's right - it is incredibly difficult for those that don't suffer. Although the more I've talked about it, the more I've discovered other people have their own issues.

I think each person's issue is their own, and it's hard for others to understand. My friend had IBS problems and I found it hard to understand what she was going through, even though I could relate to her panic issues.

[granny85]

My Dad had it but I never said I had inherited it from him. He died 4 years ago (aged 95) and Mum has also gone! So only hubby around now, but he is clueless, even tho I try to explain - he tries to 'cheer me up' by offering to take me to a 'new restaurant', but that is my worst nightmare - going somewhere new. Try telling him that, but this lady ain't for going!!! Yep - the easy way out!