AllIhaveisme
08-05-13, 15:54
I guess I'll start with my story: I've always had some level of health anxiety. But its out of control now.
I filed for divorce after 12 years with an overgrown child who was emotionally abusive and didn't hold a job. I did great for a few months. Then March 6th I got a tattoo, on my back that goes up my neck. The next day I found a large lump on the side of my neck. Its been hell since that day. I made a Dr appointment and he said due to illness and not to worry, its just lymph nodes. By that time I had 2 develop on the back of my neck. Then I began literally fighting off depression. I was THTILLED to leave my marriage so I. Didn't understand why I'd wake up depressed every day. I also have 3 kids and he moved 5hours away so I'm literally all alone. The anxiety grew with the development of more and more nodes. Then they went to my groin. Then above my left collar bone. By that point I was having severe panic, depression, waking up in fear, debilitating my life. I missed work, I was exhausted all the time, I depleted my financial cushion on Dr visits, labs, er visits. I got facial hair, heart palpitations, fatigue, increased appetite, stopped working out, anxiety and panic so bad it consumes me. These lumps consume my life. At times I'd
rather be dead than living like this. I hold my kids and cry thinking they wont grow up
with a mom. To be clear, I've had blood done 3 times, it showed I was iron and b12 and folate deficient, but everything else good, had a clear chest xray. Negative for HIV, hepatitis, thyroid normal, mono negative and even a red blood cell morphology that was normal, no mutations.
This doesn't end. I found 2 new lumps on my neck the last couple days, the lumps seem to go up and down and when my anxiety is lower, they don't feel so big. All of them are less than 1cm from what I'm told. I can't stop Googling! I also experience funny felimg head and chest, neck soreness and stiffness, I just developed a click in my throat when o swallow and an ash taste in my throat. I went from taking no pills to raking vitamin C, b12 complex vitamins, iron, zinc, fish oil, claritan, zoloft and ativan.
I am going back to the Dr today, a different one and ask them to test me for Lyme disease, mono again, MS, and check my cortisol level. Everything on Google give me the C or T work, pituitary, adrenal, or something else relating to hormones. This has taken over mu life and I want it to END already. :(
The pluses are : all testing mostly normal thus far, no night sweats, chills, weight loss or gain and my energy and foggy head has improved with vitamins. I'm so sorry this Ois Terribly
---------- Post added at 07:54 ---------- Previous post was at 07:53 ----------
I'm so sorry this is long and for the mistakes, I'm posting from my phone at work and tying to edit isn't working.
I filed for divorce after 12 years with an overgrown child who was emotionally abusive and didn't hold a job. I did great for a few months. Then March 6th I got a tattoo, on my back that goes up my neck. The next day I found a large lump on the side of my neck. Its been hell since that day. I made a Dr appointment and he said due to illness and not to worry, its just lymph nodes. By that time I had 2 develop on the back of my neck. Then I began literally fighting off depression. I was THTILLED to leave my marriage so I. Didn't understand why I'd wake up depressed every day. I also have 3 kids and he moved 5hours away so I'm literally all alone. The anxiety grew with the development of more and more nodes. Then they went to my groin. Then above my left collar bone. By that point I was having severe panic, depression, waking up in fear, debilitating my life. I missed work, I was exhausted all the time, I depleted my financial cushion on Dr visits, labs, er visits. I got facial hair, heart palpitations, fatigue, increased appetite, stopped working out, anxiety and panic so bad it consumes me. These lumps consume my life. At times I'd
rather be dead than living like this. I hold my kids and cry thinking they wont grow up
with a mom. To be clear, I've had blood done 3 times, it showed I was iron and b12 and folate deficient, but everything else good, had a clear chest xray. Negative for HIV, hepatitis, thyroid normal, mono negative and even a red blood cell morphology that was normal, no mutations.
This doesn't end. I found 2 new lumps on my neck the last couple days, the lumps seem to go up and down and when my anxiety is lower, they don't feel so big. All of them are less than 1cm from what I'm told. I can't stop Googling! I also experience funny felimg head and chest, neck soreness and stiffness, I just developed a click in my throat when o swallow and an ash taste in my throat. I went from taking no pills to raking vitamin C, b12 complex vitamins, iron, zinc, fish oil, claritan, zoloft and ativan.
I am going back to the Dr today, a different one and ask them to test me for Lyme disease, mono again, MS, and check my cortisol level. Everything on Google give me the C or T work, pituitary, adrenal, or something else relating to hormones. This has taken over mu life and I want it to END already. :(
The pluses are : all testing mostly normal thus far, no night sweats, chills, weight loss or gain and my energy and foggy head has improved with vitamins. I'm so sorry this Ois Terribly
---------- Post added at 07:54 ---------- Previous post was at 07:53 ----------
I'm so sorry this is long and for the mistakes, I'm posting from my phone at work and tying to edit isn't working.