Roj_V
09-05-13, 10:50
Hi all. Thought i'd share something with you.
Since a child, I had a fear or phobia of a character from a UK childrens TV show. The show was called "Knightmare" and the character was called "Lord Fear". It started once when I was a boy and I had a really bad dream after watching the show that he cornered me in a room and got me. I remember I woke up and I had wet the bed. I must have only been 9/10 years old, but still it was extremely frightening.
Ever since then, I have not been able to watch the programme (it's a bit of a cult show, so quite rare. When I was about 13, a new series was going to be shown, and I caught a glimpse of the character in the local TV listings - I immediately had to look away and could not bare to look again. I avoided the TV listings like mad for the week, and threw it in the bin when it was out of date. The same happened one year later when the last series was being aired. This must have been 1994.
As time has passed and the technology has progressed, I made a conscious effort not to go near Knightmare online for the fear of what I may see. I have always stayed away from old kids TV shows forums and sites, worried that I may see something.
The other night, in bed, I see an advert for Knightmare being re-shown after all this time. My heart started racing, and I became really hot. I thought there was no chance of avoiding seeing this character "Lord Fear" now.
The following day at work, all I could think of was what if I saw this advert again, and I saw this character. I couldn't cope. I started googling little bits that might show me the show Knightmare. Late in the day, I saw a small thumbnail size image of "Lord Fear". The first time in 20 years. Initially my heart raced, but then it calmed. I thought, it doesn't seem too bad, but I daredn't expand it. After a moment or two, I decided to take the plunge and expand it. There he was - the character I had been scared of all through my teenage years staring at me, and me staring back. I was strong. My heart gradually calmed. I then watched the video he was in - and I was quite calm. Having grown up must have made me tougher. I thought, finally, I have done it. I am free!
Now, a day or so has passed, and I find myself having to keep looking at pictures of him, and watching videos, and keep convincing myself that yes, I can watch this show and look at this character. But, his face, and the show is all I can think of. Part of me wants to slip back to worry, but the bulk of me looks again and says "see? no threat!" It's weird. Now I have seen the character and the show after so long, I am hoping the obsession will go down. I just feel a bit alone with it (my wife can't understand what the fuss is about!). It seems like such a monumental thing that I have done - and it took some doing, but will I be able to stop keep checking photos/web sites and keep convincing myself that I aren't scared any more?
Thanks. Roj.
Since a child, I had a fear or phobia of a character from a UK childrens TV show. The show was called "Knightmare" and the character was called "Lord Fear". It started once when I was a boy and I had a really bad dream after watching the show that he cornered me in a room and got me. I remember I woke up and I had wet the bed. I must have only been 9/10 years old, but still it was extremely frightening.
Ever since then, I have not been able to watch the programme (it's a bit of a cult show, so quite rare. When I was about 13, a new series was going to be shown, and I caught a glimpse of the character in the local TV listings - I immediately had to look away and could not bare to look again. I avoided the TV listings like mad for the week, and threw it in the bin when it was out of date. The same happened one year later when the last series was being aired. This must have been 1994.
As time has passed and the technology has progressed, I made a conscious effort not to go near Knightmare online for the fear of what I may see. I have always stayed away from old kids TV shows forums and sites, worried that I may see something.
The other night, in bed, I see an advert for Knightmare being re-shown after all this time. My heart started racing, and I became really hot. I thought there was no chance of avoiding seeing this character "Lord Fear" now.
The following day at work, all I could think of was what if I saw this advert again, and I saw this character. I couldn't cope. I started googling little bits that might show me the show Knightmare. Late in the day, I saw a small thumbnail size image of "Lord Fear". The first time in 20 years. Initially my heart raced, but then it calmed. I thought, it doesn't seem too bad, but I daredn't expand it. After a moment or two, I decided to take the plunge and expand it. There he was - the character I had been scared of all through my teenage years staring at me, and me staring back. I was strong. My heart gradually calmed. I then watched the video he was in - and I was quite calm. Having grown up must have made me tougher. I thought, finally, I have done it. I am free!
Now, a day or so has passed, and I find myself having to keep looking at pictures of him, and watching videos, and keep convincing myself that yes, I can watch this show and look at this character. But, his face, and the show is all I can think of. Part of me wants to slip back to worry, but the bulk of me looks again and says "see? no threat!" It's weird. Now I have seen the character and the show after so long, I am hoping the obsession will go down. I just feel a bit alone with it (my wife can't understand what the fuss is about!). It seems like such a monumental thing that I have done - and it took some doing, but will I be able to stop keep checking photos/web sites and keep convincing myself that I aren't scared any more?
Thanks. Roj.