stressbunny
11-05-13, 00:02
Hi all HA sufferers,
I was out tonight and a friend mentioned when I used to use this website (they feel they can joke about my problems now), and it reminded me of something I haven't thought about for probably best part of a couple of years...maybe less, maybe longer I don't know.
I was crippled with HA for a considerable period of time. Not long maybe by some standards, but a couple of years - and life is too short to lose two years.
I haven't read your threads, but I scanned the headings and they are so familiar. There are not many illnesses that I didn't "suffer" from.
Mostly neurological (my mum has Parkinsons), I thought I had MND, MS etc etc. I had real symptoms. I had dreadful jerking and awful sleep problems. I had numbness, pins and needles...you name them!
And then I "had" cancer, bowel, mouth etc.
The reality of these illnesses was to me, at the time, overwhelming. Everyone tried to reassure me, but why would I listen? They didn't understand. Could they not see how ill I was?
Fortunately, they could. I was mentally ill. Anxiety had overwhelmed me. I didn't recognise it and I hadn't seen it coming - but it stole my rational thought.
How did I get better? Slowly. The passing of time - if I had MND, I would be weaker by now... if I had bowel cancer, it wouldn't be intermittent...I was wrong last time, I must be wrong this time...what bad luck it would be to get mouth cancer and MS in the same week!
I was blessed by private healthcare...first class CBT. But you can do it online for free - it works because you allow it to.
Was I lucky not to have cancer? I don't think so - I would have been lucky not to be struck down by mental illness! It cripples, steals your life, your mind, wrecks relationships...
I don't hope to cure you all tonight - although I may offer a moment of reassurance (sorry, but it doesn't work - it will wear off) but I can tell you that if you are on this website (glad you have found a good support network) that you will almost certainly be anxious and your worst fears won't be realised (but get them checked by a doc anyway - and I know me saying that has left you cold with fear, but I am not qualified to tell you that you are well).
I can also tell you I am well, very well.
Last year, I had a back injury - severe enough to require two surgeries. The first was eventful! My HA flared and I was overwhelmed by the FACT that I wouldn't recover from general anaesthetic. When I came round in the post op room, it is fair to say I was euphoric! I had faced my fears and conquered them, and you all can too.
Anyway, long and boring post, just wanted to say that you can recover. You can wake up and not feel fear. I still protect myself - never read any health articles certainly NEVER google. But I got better.
Good Luck guys x
I was out tonight and a friend mentioned when I used to use this website (they feel they can joke about my problems now), and it reminded me of something I haven't thought about for probably best part of a couple of years...maybe less, maybe longer I don't know.
I was crippled with HA for a considerable period of time. Not long maybe by some standards, but a couple of years - and life is too short to lose two years.
I haven't read your threads, but I scanned the headings and they are so familiar. There are not many illnesses that I didn't "suffer" from.
Mostly neurological (my mum has Parkinsons), I thought I had MND, MS etc etc. I had real symptoms. I had dreadful jerking and awful sleep problems. I had numbness, pins and needles...you name them!
And then I "had" cancer, bowel, mouth etc.
The reality of these illnesses was to me, at the time, overwhelming. Everyone tried to reassure me, but why would I listen? They didn't understand. Could they not see how ill I was?
Fortunately, they could. I was mentally ill. Anxiety had overwhelmed me. I didn't recognise it and I hadn't seen it coming - but it stole my rational thought.
How did I get better? Slowly. The passing of time - if I had MND, I would be weaker by now... if I had bowel cancer, it wouldn't be intermittent...I was wrong last time, I must be wrong this time...what bad luck it would be to get mouth cancer and MS in the same week!
I was blessed by private healthcare...first class CBT. But you can do it online for free - it works because you allow it to.
Was I lucky not to have cancer? I don't think so - I would have been lucky not to be struck down by mental illness! It cripples, steals your life, your mind, wrecks relationships...
I don't hope to cure you all tonight - although I may offer a moment of reassurance (sorry, but it doesn't work - it will wear off) but I can tell you that if you are on this website (glad you have found a good support network) that you will almost certainly be anxious and your worst fears won't be realised (but get them checked by a doc anyway - and I know me saying that has left you cold with fear, but I am not qualified to tell you that you are well).
I can also tell you I am well, very well.
Last year, I had a back injury - severe enough to require two surgeries. The first was eventful! My HA flared and I was overwhelmed by the FACT that I wouldn't recover from general anaesthetic. When I came round in the post op room, it is fair to say I was euphoric! I had faced my fears and conquered them, and you all can too.
Anyway, long and boring post, just wanted to say that you can recover. You can wake up and not feel fear. I still protect myself - never read any health articles certainly NEVER google. But I got better.
Good Luck guys x