MrsStobe13
11-05-13, 06:30
Hello folks,
I really could use some help here. I'm 6 days from saying 'I do' to the man who has helped me with so much over the last 7 years of my life and I'm nothing like I thought I would be in the final week to our wedding. I thought I'd be excited and slim, I'm nearly 18st and want to run from it all, I'm averaging 4 hours sleep per night and I've had a really fun time with IBS.
The wedding planning hasn't been easy, we've had issues with bridesmaids, seperation anxiety when the boys organised a stag do all the way up in Liverpool, caterer issues and run arounds with timings for the actual ceremony. Although in my heart I know that this is not my fiancé's fault, my head blames him and keeps thinking it's his fault. I've had really bizarre intrusive thoughts like saying no I don't want to marry him, running away before the wedding, killing him on our wedding day and jumping in front of or passing out on a train when we go on honeymoon.
I've also been a complete wreck because ever since starting on the mini-pill I've had violent thoughts towards my family and fiancé. They started about a week after beginning them so I'm pretty sure it's related. I've now changed my pill so I'm hoping they'll clear, though we're only 2 days into the change. I've tried rescue remedy which sometimes seems to make me feel quite dopey and sedated. I mentioned these thoughts to my GP on Tuesday and he said it sounded like a hormonal problem. Hormonal? Really? Hormones can do this?!
Can anyone offer me some guidance or reassurance here please? It'd be really good to hear from someone with anxiety who battled with it on their wedding day. Like I say, I honestly thought I'd be more excited than this. All I want at the moment is to get through the wedding and the honeymoon without saying or doing something wrong. I shouldn't feel like this, I should be feeling happy and excited, not like my wedding is one big challenge to overcome. I want to marry this man, we're so comfortable together when we're not doing much and love sharing all the best bits of life together. It's true what they say about Mr Right, you don't know why, you just know :-)
Thanks for reading all :-)
MrsStobe13 x
ETA: In case it helps define these feelings from normal wedding jitters, I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and endogenous depression.
I really could use some help here. I'm 6 days from saying 'I do' to the man who has helped me with so much over the last 7 years of my life and I'm nothing like I thought I would be in the final week to our wedding. I thought I'd be excited and slim, I'm nearly 18st and want to run from it all, I'm averaging 4 hours sleep per night and I've had a really fun time with IBS.
The wedding planning hasn't been easy, we've had issues with bridesmaids, seperation anxiety when the boys organised a stag do all the way up in Liverpool, caterer issues and run arounds with timings for the actual ceremony. Although in my heart I know that this is not my fiancé's fault, my head blames him and keeps thinking it's his fault. I've had really bizarre intrusive thoughts like saying no I don't want to marry him, running away before the wedding, killing him on our wedding day and jumping in front of or passing out on a train when we go on honeymoon.
I've also been a complete wreck because ever since starting on the mini-pill I've had violent thoughts towards my family and fiancé. They started about a week after beginning them so I'm pretty sure it's related. I've now changed my pill so I'm hoping they'll clear, though we're only 2 days into the change. I've tried rescue remedy which sometimes seems to make me feel quite dopey and sedated. I mentioned these thoughts to my GP on Tuesday and he said it sounded like a hormonal problem. Hormonal? Really? Hormones can do this?!
Can anyone offer me some guidance or reassurance here please? It'd be really good to hear from someone with anxiety who battled with it on their wedding day. Like I say, I honestly thought I'd be more excited than this. All I want at the moment is to get through the wedding and the honeymoon without saying or doing something wrong. I shouldn't feel like this, I should be feeling happy and excited, not like my wedding is one big challenge to overcome. I want to marry this man, we're so comfortable together when we're not doing much and love sharing all the best bits of life together. It's true what they say about Mr Right, you don't know why, you just know :-)
Thanks for reading all :-)
MrsStobe13 x
ETA: In case it helps define these feelings from normal wedding jitters, I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and endogenous depression.