Eek
12-05-13, 13:06
I honestly think that I'm doomed and that there's something lethal hiding inside of me like a ticking time bomb.
Over the last few months I've got more and more symptoms
Night sweats - I've had these for about six months now they're getting worse all the time. Every night when I manage to get some sleep, I wake up soaked in sweat even if I've only slept for an hour and even with the air con on. This has to be cancer and they've just not found it yet.
Fasting blood glucose 6.6 - raised blood sugar, it's gone up from 5.8 in the last few weeks to a virtually diabetic state, I'm worried that it's still climbing and isn't going to stop.
Fluid round my heart - found on a CT scan and confirmed on an echo, the cardiologist said to just forget it as it was small but I can't stop thinking about it.
The same CT scan found a lump on my liver which they think is a hemangioma but can't be sure without a biopsy and don't want to do that, but I'm worried is liver cancer (maybe the cancer that is causing the night sweats?)
Day time sweating - I now sweat profusely even if I only get warm, going out for a walk makes me sweat badly even in cold weather.
I only sleep between 1-3 hours a night, this started on withdrawing from some meds but I'm convinced that my brain is permanently damaged from taking them, it's not improving at all six weeks later. I don't get sleepy and I can't even nap even when really tired.
Twitching - I've started randomly twitching mostly when lying in bed at night or in the morning, but I notice it during the day too. This is my arms, legs, feet, hands, stomach, shoulders, any muscles that can twitch.
I had an abdominal ultrasound and my uterine lining is thicker than it should be and could be a precursor to cancer or even possibly hiding cancer.
I had antibiotics that left me with a difficult to treat strain of thrush that won't go so I have to live with it, not fatal but a permanent infection I'm stuck with.
I'm sick virtually every day, usually early in the day, sometimes several times.
Unintentional weight loss - I've lost 7lb in the last five weeks without even trying, although I'm sick a lot it's usually early and dry heaving and I eat pretty normally apart from that. My doctor was concerned about this and is weighing me now when I go to see him.
So much to worry about and live with. It all adds up to there must be something very bad wrong with me, I'm so sure that I have something fatal and will die soon. I try to tell myself it could all be something innocuous but I don't believe it. I'm terrified of dying and don't want to die, I'm 48 so I know it's going to happen some time soonish but I don't want it to be now. I have no idea what to do as they can find no reason for most of my symptoms and my doctor doesn't know why my blood sugar would have spiked so quickly, I'm just basically waiting for whatever it is to show itself and finish me.
Over the last few months I've got more and more symptoms
Night sweats - I've had these for about six months now they're getting worse all the time. Every night when I manage to get some sleep, I wake up soaked in sweat even if I've only slept for an hour and even with the air con on. This has to be cancer and they've just not found it yet.
Fasting blood glucose 6.6 - raised blood sugar, it's gone up from 5.8 in the last few weeks to a virtually diabetic state, I'm worried that it's still climbing and isn't going to stop.
Fluid round my heart - found on a CT scan and confirmed on an echo, the cardiologist said to just forget it as it was small but I can't stop thinking about it.
The same CT scan found a lump on my liver which they think is a hemangioma but can't be sure without a biopsy and don't want to do that, but I'm worried is liver cancer (maybe the cancer that is causing the night sweats?)
Day time sweating - I now sweat profusely even if I only get warm, going out for a walk makes me sweat badly even in cold weather.
I only sleep between 1-3 hours a night, this started on withdrawing from some meds but I'm convinced that my brain is permanently damaged from taking them, it's not improving at all six weeks later. I don't get sleepy and I can't even nap even when really tired.
Twitching - I've started randomly twitching mostly when lying in bed at night or in the morning, but I notice it during the day too. This is my arms, legs, feet, hands, stomach, shoulders, any muscles that can twitch.
I had an abdominal ultrasound and my uterine lining is thicker than it should be and could be a precursor to cancer or even possibly hiding cancer.
I had antibiotics that left me with a difficult to treat strain of thrush that won't go so I have to live with it, not fatal but a permanent infection I'm stuck with.
I'm sick virtually every day, usually early in the day, sometimes several times.
Unintentional weight loss - I've lost 7lb in the last five weeks without even trying, although I'm sick a lot it's usually early and dry heaving and I eat pretty normally apart from that. My doctor was concerned about this and is weighing me now when I go to see him.
So much to worry about and live with. It all adds up to there must be something very bad wrong with me, I'm so sure that I have something fatal and will die soon. I try to tell myself it could all be something innocuous but I don't believe it. I'm terrified of dying and don't want to die, I'm 48 so I know it's going to happen some time soonish but I don't want it to be now. I have no idea what to do as they can find no reason for most of my symptoms and my doctor doesn't know why my blood sugar would have spiked so quickly, I'm just basically waiting for whatever it is to show itself and finish me.