Need reassurance :o)

[Snoodlester]

I know I post a lot about this but I just need to get it off my chest...

A week ago I had a massive panic attack when I pushed myself too far. I'm now afraid to travel on a certain bit of road. My parents can't get their head round it and it's making me feel bad about myself.

I avoided going to a different store yesterday because of this road and dad was in a mood all day. I didnt say my parents couldnt go so can't see why I should feel bad, but I do. Anyway dad's decided to go today and mum said it would be nice if you came. I've been tossing up whether to go all morning but eventually decided not to. Mum said that's a shame, it's not that far. So I snapped saying again it's not the distance it's that particular road. And it's too far to go the long way.

My symptoms have died down and my anxiety's pretty much going but I think I've made the right decision not to go. Just need rassurance please

[Rennie1989]

I understand what it's like to have parents who do not understand how anxiety affects us, mine can become very upsetting.

But, to be honest with you, you cannot avoid that road for the rest of your life. Next week you could avoid another, then the week after you'll avoid certain shops, and then the park, and so on. Avoiding a situation which causes no physical harm to you will make your anxiety worse.

Set yourself a target to go back to that road. Start with going passed it, and once you're confident with that go down the road, whether you walk down it or drive down it.

[Snoodlester]

Thanks Rennie
I completely understand that process, but I can't do that with this particular road. It's the only one out of here, just past a dual carriageway and crosses a motorway. So I can't gradually face it, I have to just face it at some point. I'm hoping that smaller journeys in the car will help, but I haven't been able to get much practice lately

[Bond Girl]

Try going at night when it's quieter & there aren't so many other cars on the road? X x

[Kells81]

I have the same problem with certain roads but as rennie said -avoiding them is not the answer.

I have done the same as you suggested above by trying smaller roads first with the aim of working up to the bigger roads eventually. I really have to push myself to go out and drive every day though as it is usually the last thing I want to do.

It is really important to continually push yourself to do the smaller things though otherwise the bigger tasks will never be in reach.

[shotokansho]

I avoid bridges! It's made my life worse because I avoid them every where I go, which has resulted me in missing appointments and going out other places. I have tried some bridges and had to have my mum hold my hand...Even though I'm 35 years old!
I think it's a great idea to do it at night when there isn't as many cars around, and could you take someone with you?

[Bond Girl]

I just figure if you go really late (& take someone with you if you need to), then it's just you & the road, without having to deal with your anxiety AND other people on the road too. Also, do it frequently enough & you'll get to know the road layout better & in time you won't even think about it x x
Good luck!!

[Snoodlester]

At the moment it's not me driving, it's my dad! So I guess it's also a control issue too. I definitely travel better at night and when there's less traffic on the road. I know it's my anticipatory anxiety that's working overdrive - and although in recent months I've travelled on this road many times (even 2 days in a row during rush hour) it's just this recent panic that's loudest in my head :( I've been following the CBT4PANIC which is why I've avoided this road today as I feel it's too much too soon, and if I face it head on it might give me yet another set back (but then again it might not!) damn my thoughts

[Bond Girl]

Could you try a distraction technique while in the car on this piece of road? eg. read a book, listen to music on iPod, talk on the phone to a friend, etc?

[Snoodlester]

That's what I usually do to be honest, at the height of my panic I whip out my iPod and start playing a game, anything to take my mind off it. I'm thinking I might have to do this on this particular bit of road until I can utilise the other skills

[Rennie1989]

That's what I usually do to be honest, at the height of my panic I whip out my iPod and start playing a game, anything to take my mind off it. I'm thinking I might have to do this on this particular bit of road until I can utilise the other skills

What ever works for you, do it. If playing games on your iPod keeps you calm then do that :yesyes:

[Bond Girl]

Defo stick with the distraction techniques if you feel they work. You could also look up the distraction 'tapping' techniques online which can help to break habits & negative thinking x

[almamatters]

As you know I have the same driving fears and the only way I can cope is distraction, if you have a passenger then chatting is a help, but if you are on your own then it is down to breathing, listening to the radio , let me know if you have anymore tips, I am struggling as well with this and would love to be able to drive around normally.