Anyone else with no life because of anxiety?

[jayjoe18]

And by that I mean no friends, partner, job, education, social life, not going out, etc?

I hope I don't offend anyone here but I just keep seeing people on the forum who still manage to have relationships, friends, go out and go to work etc even though that have anxiety etc. Am I too weak? What do you do when your anxiety has totally overcome your life and you have cut all ties with the outside world? Feeling lost and down today :(

By the way, I'm in therapy at the moment but only seem to be working on my phobia surrounding needing the loo all the time and worrying about it all the time, not about my anxiety in general, panic and social phobia/anxiety/avoidance what ever you want to call it!

[lashes]

Ahh Hun I know what it feels like when I was about 18 I was in a similar situation cut off friends left sixth form cudnt leave the house never went out boyfriend left me I recovered but unfortunately I'm having problems again the best thing you can do is get medication they helped me a lot and have Cbt. Pushing myself to get a job was the best thing I ever did have me confidence made friends it was pretty bad at the start but you can do it ! X

[Snoodlester]

Hi Jasmin
I can totally relate to this. I live on my own and was made redundant in April. I'm now staying with my parents, as my anxiety has been crippling for me - I haven't been back to my flat in over a month. I don't feel well enough to look for work at the moment and I haven't got that many friends due to social anxiety. I had some really good colleagues who have sent me messages, and a friend who keeps in regular contact, but apart from that I feel completely cut off.
Feel free to PM me if it helps to chat.
Sue x

[theharvestmouse]

Hardest bit is the first step, but for things to change you have to push through the fear, its not easy, but when you start doing things to build your confidence then its amazing what can happen. I'm living proof that you can go from being rock bottom and wanting to end my life to getting a job, making friends and I'm now even going on dates, 4 years ago I couldn't go to a shop to buy a pint of milk.

Never give up hope because things do change but it takes effort.

[mike83]

Hi

I am in the same situation, have been for a long time now. I don't really know what to do to overcome it but other people seem to have some good ideas. Having therapy is a step in the right direction. Maybe tell your therapist that you want to focus on other areas too.

[daisydaisy]

Hi Jasmin,

When I first suffered with anxiety in my early 20's I pretty much let everything go. I became agoraphobic and just wanted to stay in my room at my parents. I'd been through a break up at the time (I think this contributed) and was scared out my wits I'd never feel 'normal' again. My best friend could not believe it and came to visit me- I just sat there vacantly staring at her and wasn't able to attend her b'day celebrations that year as I was too unwell at at time (previously I was a party animal!)...but I did get better with the help of medication and therapy I have had 5 years good health and been virtually anxiety free minus the normal highs and lows of life. In this time I got a new boyfriend, sorted my education/job and moved out of my parents- I didn't think this would ever be possible at the time but I did it and I'm not going to say it was easy because it wasn't but when my medication kicked in first time around I made sure that I got out there (even when I really didn't want to!) to build up a social life again and find a way forward- I promise you'll get there you just have to keep strong and remember that the only way is up when you feel you're at rock bottom.

Xxx

[xBettyBoopx]

And by that I mean no friends, partner, job, education, social life, not going out, etc?

I hope I don't offend anyone here but I just keep seeing people on the forum who still manage to have relationships, friends, go out and go to work etc even though that have anxiety etc. Am I too weak? What do you do when your anxiety has totally overcome your life and you have cut all ties with the outside world? Feeling lost and down today :(

By the way, I'm in therapy at the moment but only seem to be working on my phobia surrounding needing the loo all the time and worrying about it all the time, not about my anxiety in general, panic and social phobia/anxiety/avoidance what ever you want to call it!

I hear ya:winks:

I have none of the above, no life, no future, no anything! I don't even have a therapist! I am a miserable 55 year old woman.....so as you are so young I suggest that you wrap yourself around the therapy, grab books and cd's and any information that you can get hold of to smack this anxiety in the face and get out and about again. :yesyes::yesyes:

[tricia56]

hi betty i have just read your post i am57 and i am exactly like you

[bernie1977]

I'm the same my anxiety got so bad I'm now housebound with agoraphobia. I don't go anywhere or see anyone. I'm 38 now.

[Liviguy]

There was a time in the late 90's when my panic attacks were so overwhelming I started to avoid going out and sat at home moping.

I had a girlfriend at the time but I tried to keep it secret from her. Over the years I have learned to try to get on with life the best I can.

There are still times when I feel incredibly uncomfortable, but there are also times I forget and really enjoy myself.

[jennielouises]

I came on here looking to ask something similar. I am lucky to have an amazing husband but I have no friends. I occasionally meet up with two ladies I used to work with for a catch up dinner. But they are in their 40s and I am in my 20s. Although age isn't an issue for me, they are at a different stage in their lives and so aren't sharing the same sorts of things as me.

I have lost lots of friends because of my anxiety. From the fact that I won't go out drinking, to some 'so-called-friends' stopping talking to me when I am having a particular bad few months. My best friend from childhood moved three hours away when she went to uni and has a whole different life there that doesn't include me. When I was about 18 I had a group of friends that went to the pub together but one of them got sick and died of cancer at 21 and it turns out she was the glue of the group. None of the others talk to me anymore.

I love my husband dearly but I am so lonely. I have my sisters but I just want some girlfriends to have a laugh with. :weep: I've tried going to classes (English and Psychology A level, OU courses) but never end up gelling with anyone. I meet people at work but they never seem to want to be friends with me outside of work. I just don't know what to do

[xBettyBoopx]

hi betty i have just read your post i am57 and i am exactly like you

Hi Trisha

I am sorry to hear that you are in the same boat, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy! What can we do? I've had this condition for so long, I wouldn't know how to live if a miracle happened!:mad:

I have given up if the truth be known because I have physical illness as well:weep:

I am in Suffolk, where abouts are you?

X Betty X

[jayjoe18]

Thanks everyone, I felt a huge relief reading all your comments knowing I'm not the only one and that things can get better, I feel I've put in all the hard work with therapy over the years but it seems it just isn't enough. I do try to get out but sometimes I don't think I try hard enough, the anxiety just gets too high & it becomes impossible for me to do things. Does anyone have any tips on how to get on medication if your afraid? (I used to suffer health anxiety so afraid of meds now!) Actually I might post up a new thread on this. Anyway, thank you all very much for your replies, it really has helped! x

---------- Post added at 14:40 ---------- Previous post was at 14:28 ----------


Ahh Hun I know what it feels like when I was about 18 I was in a similar situation cut off friends left sixth form cudnt leave the house never went out boyfriend left me I recovered but unfortunately I'm having problems again the best thing you can do is get medication they helped me a lot and have Cbt. Pushing myself to get a job was the best thing I ever did have me confidence made friends it was pretty bad at the start but you can do it ! X

This is exactly me! I slowly started cutting myself off in the middle of high school and it just got worse and worse. Do you mind me asking what meds helped you? Thanks so much for your response, it really helped :) x


Hardest bit is the first step, but for things to change you have to push through the fear, its not easy, but when you start doing things to build your confidence then its amazing what can happen. I'm living proof that you can go from being rock bottom and wanting to end my life to getting a job, making friends and I'm now even going on dates, 4 years ago I couldn't go to a shop to buy a pint of milk.

Never give up hope because things do change but it takes effort.

That's brilliant, you must be so proud of yourself coming so far! I hope that can be me one day soon! x


Hi Jasmin,

When I first suffered with anxiety in my early 20's I pretty much let everything go. I became agoraphobic and just wanted to stay in my room at my parents. I'd been through a break up at the time (I think this contributed) and was scared out my wits I'd never feel 'normal' again. My best friend could not believe it and came to visit me- I just sat there vacantly staring at her and wasn't able to attend her b'day celebrations that year as I was too unwell at at time (previously I was a party animal!)...but I did get better with the help of medication and therapy I have had 5 years good health and been virtually anxiety free minus the normal highs and lows of life. In this time I got a new boyfriend, sorted my education/job and moved out of my parents- I didn't think this would ever be possible at the time but I did it and I'm not going to say it was easy because it wasn't but when my medication kicked in first time around I made sure that I got out there (even when I really didn't want to!) to build up a social life again and find a way forward- I promise you'll get there you just have to keep strong and remember that the only way is up when you feel you're at rock bottom.

Xxx

Thanks so much for this post daisy, this has really motivated me because it sounds like me in many ways, can I ask what meds you tried? I was the same with events and birthday parties but it's lasted all this time, my last birthday party was when I was 13 I'm now 20! Pretty sad really to miss out and to miss out in life and being happy! I don't want to miss out anymore!!! xx


I hear ya:winks:

I have none of the above, no life, no future, no anything! I don't even have a therapist! I am a miserable 55 year old woman.....so as you are so young I suggest that you wrap yourself around the therapy, grab books and cd's and any information that you can get hold of to smack this anxiety in the face and get out and about again. :yesyes::yesyes:




Aww Betty, I know I can't talk because I'm in the same boat but I really hope you can find a way back to your happy normal self :hugs:


I came on here looking to ask something similar. I am lucky to have an amazing husband but I have no friends. I occasionally meet up with two ladies I used to work with for a catch up dinner. But they are in their 40s and I am in my 20s. Although age isn't an issue for me, they are at a different stage in their lives and so aren't sharing the same sorts of things as me.

I have lost lots of friends because of my anxiety. From the fact that I won't go out drinking, to some 'so-called-friends' stopping talking to me when I am having a particular bad few months. My best friend from childhood moved three hours away when she went to uni and has a whole different life there that doesn't include me. When I was about 18 I had a group of friends that went to the pub together but one of them got sick and died of cancer at 21 and it turns out she was the glue of the group. None of the others talk to me anymore.

I love my husband dearly but I am so lonely. I have my sisters but I just want some girlfriends to have a laugh with. :weep: I've tried going to classes (English and Psychology A level, OU courses) but never end up gelling with anyone. I meet people at work but they never seem to want to be friends with me outside of work. I just don't know what to do

Hi Jennie, sorry to hear your having a tough time too, I never realised how hard it is to make friends, I made them so easily when I was younger but once this anxiety kicked in I lost all that and it's sooo hard now! I know what you mean, I have family friends who are older and it's just not the same as having your own group of friends going through life & having a laugh together :(

[Rennie1989]

Anxiety was the sole reason why my relationship with my father failed, why I dropped out of University and why friends just don't talk to me anymore. I still kick myself for letting it get to me like that, because I am years behind on my career (what ever my career happens to be) and I have lost good friends. But what has happened has happened and I am now moving on.

[Magic]

Good for you Rennie. I wish you all the best for the future:hugs:

[mynameis]

It's so sad that anxiety has affected you to this extent, and I hope that the advice you receive on here does help you. Hopefully you will make friends on this very site (I'm hoping that they still do get-togethers, it's been a very long time since I was last on here !), and I would not be concerned that you have yet to reach the goals you set yourself. I realise that this easy for me to say, but my own anxiety was at times crippling, and lost me some friends along the way. However, anxiety did not lose me my friends directly, some of them just didn't know how to talk to me after I disclosed it to them. Sometimes, you just need support, and I am happy to say that the friends who stuck with me from the beginning, are still my friends today. It's nobody's fault of course (I'm not even sure how I would've reacted if the roles were reversed, despite knowing how I would've liked to react), that's how life is when dealing with the unknown in any sense. Despite affecting my work, my marriage & my relationships with friends and with my own family in the early stages, I am pleased to say that I am still happily married to my wife, I changed my career and quickly earned a role in senior management, maintained the friendships close to me, and all this after I moved to the other side of the world ! I speak with my friends back in ol' blighty every week on skype and see them once a year when I visit family (some even come over to stay with us over here !), I've made great new friends over here too & although anxiety rears its ugly head now and again, I simply refuse to let it impact on me. I am coming up to 11 years since it 1st started, so it's taken a while to get where I am today, but the systems that I put in place years ago are still sound and valid. What I am trying to say and justify, is that it doesn't have to stop you from doing anything you want to do in life. Meds ? I take amitriptyline every now & then; non habit-forming and no noticeable effects at all. 10mg does the trick, and like diazepam, they work straight away. I was first prescribed them for migraines and to help sleep at night, but after reading about them, discovered that they were also used for anxiety related disorders. What can I say, they work ! My apologies for the epic, but trying to prevent you from losing hope and trying to somehow explain that you can still do all the things you want to do, or better still, consider alternatives too ! Take care and hope you make progress soon :)

[daisydaisy]

Thanks so much for this post daisy, this has really motivated me because it sounds like me in many ways, can I ask what meds you tried? I was the same with events and birthday parties but it's lasted all this time, my last birthday party was when I was 13 I'm now 20! Pretty sad really to miss out and to miss out in life and being happy! I don't want to miss out anymore!!! xx


Hey Jasmin,

I'm glad the comments have helped you :hugs:

I started on 20mg of fluox/prozac and in around 3-4 months I was feeling much better- as in back to my old self. My maintenance dose fluctuated between 20-40mg and I tapered off them after approx 1 year after and was fine. I was very lucky that first time around I had no side effects from fluox/prozac either starting or coming off. I think I was just so relieved to be getting some help in some way I think I just got through the days with minimal fuss- I was a bit negative thinking "they won't work" but they did. Don't let the possible side effects part scare you as they are only 'possible' and you will see a lot of posts here from people that were ok first time around (obviously I am not a doctor so I cannot guarantee anything and we are all different but I think a positive attitude can help wen starting meds too).

I had some counselling during this time too- not CBT just counselling which was ok.

As I said I had 5/6 years med free after the above. I have started fluox again recently as I have had some major stressors in my life but I am hopeful they will help me again.

Either way even if the above meds don't work there are several out there and you can take your time. I like you was med phobic probably borderline health anxiety (can't even swallow those chalky paracetamols- I'm a baby lol) but again you can discuss all this with your GP who can advise on the best plan for you.

Whatever you decide to do best of luck and keep in touch. Feel free to PM me if you have any other questions xxx

[jayjoe18]

It's so sad that anxiety has affected you to this extent, and I hope that the advice you receive on here does help you. Hopefully you will make friends on this very site (I'm hoping that they still do get-togethers, it's been a very long time since I was last on here !), and I would not be concerned that you have yet to reach the goals you set yourself. I realise that this easy for me to say, but my own anxiety was at times crippling, and lost me some friends along the way. However, anxiety did not lose me my friends directly, some of them just didn't know how to talk to me after I disclosed it to them. Sometimes, you just need support, and I am happy to say that the friends who stuck with me from the beginning, are still my friends today. It's nobody's fault of course (I'm not even sure how I would've reacted if the roles were reversed, despite knowing how I would've liked to react), that's how life is when dealing with the unknown in any sense. Despite affecting my work, my marriage & my relationships with friends and with my own family in the early stages, I am pleased to say that I am still happily married to my wife, I changed my career and quickly earned a role in senior management, maintained the friendships close to me, and all this after I moved to the other side of the world ! I speak with my friends back in ol' blighty every week on skype and see them once a year when I visit family (some even come over to stay with us over here !), I've made great new friends over here too & although anxiety rears its ugly head now and again, I simply refuse to let it impact on me. I am coming up to 11 years since it 1st started, so it's taken a while to get where I am today, but the systems that I put in place years ago are still sound and valid. What I am trying to say and justify, is that it doesn't have to stop you from doing anything you want to do in life. Meds ? I take amitriptyline every now & then; non habit-forming and no noticeable effects at all. 10mg does the trick, and like diazepam, they work straight away. I was first prescribed them for migraines and to help sleep at night, but after reading about them, discovered that they were also used for anxiety related disorders. What can I say, they work ! My apologies for the epic, but trying to prevent you from losing hope and trying to somehow explain that you can still do all the things you want to do, or better still, consider alternatives too ! Take care and hope you make progress soon :)

Thanks so much for your post! Wow, it sounds like you have really kicked your anxiety, brilliant! And moving across the world, wow, what can I say! I hope that can be me too one day! I didn't realise amitriptyline could be used for anxiety, my mum is on this for migraines! I think I just need to accept that I need some form of medicine and not view it in such a scary and negative way!