Excessive Google brought me here.... Thank God [Archive]

View Full Version : Excessive Google brought me here.... Thank God

summer55

13-05-13, 13:54

I have been on Google for the past 2 weeks from the time my kids leave for school until they get home and then when they and my husband go to bed until at least midnight. The only good thing that has come from all that research has been finding this forum:) I seriously in a million years thought that I was the only person who had such horrible health anxiety. It is a lonely feeling, everyone around me just laughs or get's annoyed when I ask them to look at a mole or ask them questions about anything that pertains to my health. Every few years I become quite obsessed with skin cancer and checking my skin and it drives me crazy, it is quite honestly ruining my life. I am taking Effexor XR, but it is def. not helping my anxiety. These are the things that I have in the past have thought I have had.
1. Lou Gehrigs disease
2. Melanoma
3. Blood clot
4. Heart Disease
5. M.S.
6. Colon Cancer
7. Bladder Cancer
8. Dementia( I am only 39)
9. Aids
10. Brain Cancer
11. Breast Cancer
12. Lung Cancer

Melanoma is one that creeps back in my thoughts every few years. I have had over 20 moles remeoved and of course they were all fine, but here I go again with the mole thing. I am driving my family crazy. I have them check the one of my back constantly, have them take pictures and tell me what colors are in it. I am so confused as to why or what causes this kind of anxiety????? I am so tired of it, I just want to be normal.

Bekzie

13-05-13, 14:22

Hi Summer and :welcome:

I was the same as you , feeling totally alone in this and constantly googling but since finding this site I dont google symptoms anymore. Google is not a doctor and no matter what you search for there will be symptoms you can relate to and it always brings up the worst case scenarios.

Have you spoken to your doctor about your anxiety?

I'm sure you will find lots of help, advice and support here :)

summer55

13-05-13, 17:33

Munchlet

13-05-13, 17:49

Hi and Welcome

You are certainly not alone, Ha is a terrible thing and I think it's a lot more common than most of us realise.

Whilst the majority of us on here aren't medically trained we can at least relate to what you are experiencing and in some instances I'm sure a lot of us have had the same fears as you.

I've having a melanoma scare at the moment, my main thing is breast cancer but it flits between, breast, skin, cervical, ovarian, stomach, in fact most cancers, for some reason that seems to be my biggest fear.

I also have people laugh at me and my husband frequently makes comments along the lines of "what is it this time" or "do you ever think you might run out of illnesses to have".

Whilst I understand it's frustrating for him and others around me, I don't think people realise how incredibly distressing it is for us, we don't want HA and most of us long for the day when it doesn't occupy every waking thought.

I hope you will make some friends on the board and find some reassurance that you aren't alone, you can be sure that no one on here will laugh at you!:welcome:

RosieXXX

13-05-13, 18:39

Hello summer,

I can totally relate to how you feel, and so will other health anxiety sufferers; I am so pleased you have found this site, because you will have loads of support from people who truly understand your suffering.

I have suffered for many years, and have only recently been able to find a way of coping with my anxiety. I have come to realise seeking reassurance actually feeds the anxiety, and it is Really important to make a point of not allowing yourself to google or self check. The temporary reassurance you might eventually gain from googling or self checking is short lived, and before you know it you are back into another cycle of worry; without realising it the whole cycle becomes quite addictive. In my case i realised the peace of mind i managed to reach after each torment was such a relief, it almost became like a fix. Anxiety takes many different forms but i think it can be a cover for other problems which perhaps we are unable to acknowledge or don't know how to deal with; if we find something tangible to worry about our focus is diverted away from other issues.

Please do not allow yourself to google under any circumstances - it always feeds the fear, and you will constantly be trying to find answers to reassure yourself which it won't deliver.

It is really hard to give up google and to stop self checking - as difficult as giving up any other addictive behaviour, but it can be done. Try to limit self checking to twice a day - if you have an understanding partner you could ask them to help by checking for you - perhaps once in the morning and then again before bed. Do not allow yourself to check when you are alone. I am certain you will find your levels of anxiety will drop as you manage to reduce checking.

I have rattled on far longer than i intended, but reading your post moved me - health anxiety is such a dreadful affliction, and i really hope you and all others who suffer will find some peace. It is good to share our experiences and to help support each other xx

unsure_about_this

13-05-13, 19:02

Hi

Please do not Google, it would probably make you feel worst. If you are worried see your doctor (make a list of things you are worried about) you might get some help or get sent for tests to make you feel better.

I also have huge horrid health anxiety, it has been around bowel cancer, pancreatic cancer, stomach cancer, breast cancer, testicular cancer etc, the A-Z of medical conditions.

I have tried not to Google no more (nor do I try and read these health websites about symptoms) one of the doctors told me don't read Internet websites about health or read Daily Mail Online there are always cancers articles on there and it frightens me even more

I been told I have IBS but I don't believe none of the doctors I have seen, even though there have felt my abdominal lots and lots of time, weigh me, took my height, more rectal exams there have sent me for ultrasound and blood test are fine, sent me to specialist she sent me for CT scan just to reassurance me.

This bowel cancer worrying started when my Dad had to do his bowel screening sample because he reach the age for testing, his test was fine, the bowel cancer advert has made more worried.

stressedmamof3

13-05-13, 21:06

hi hun , welcome :) totally know where ur coming from, I was in the same boat as u last year, constant googling from morning till bedtime, not being able to sleep so getting up and googling more.
infact I do still google, but not as much.
like u , I have thought I have had many things wrong with me , this has got worse in last 2 year, really don't know what brought it all on :(
atm im having issies with my left breast, although there are no lumps, I am getting random pains, google spells out 1 word only for me ..the dreaded "c" word.
i am going on holiday in 4 weeks and don't want this spoiling it :(
really going to try tomorrow to relax and try and forget :)

summer55

13-05-13, 21:25

Thank You so much to Bekzie, Munchlet, Rosie XXX and Unsure about this:) It is so nice just to hear the words " I understand " :) I never hear that from anyone and I understand why it is hard for people around me to relate and be patient. I get sick of my own self so I can only imagine how they feel. I just truly hope none of my children experience anxiety like this.... I want them to enjoy their life. This thing seems to come and go, I will sometimes go weeks or months and not have a worry and then BAM it hits me. I don't know what triggers it, and I am sure you all can relate that is always starts on a Friday night when I can't call doctor or on a Holiday break...!!!!!!! Of course it is usually cancer and the strange thing is that no one in my family has died from cancer, but know people around me that have and some were young. I see what happens to their children and I just can't imagine leaving my babies. More than anything I just want to live.... life is good and I want to be here. Now that I am thinking about it my daughter got married April 27th and maybe that triggered it????:shrug: I also have a son graduating H.S. this Saturday. All of that got me thinking about the future and grandchildren eventually and then one thought leads to another and here I am.... I am going to die and miss all of those wonderful things. GEEZ!!!! I will def. take all of your advice and not google at ALL. I go there for reassurance and then get the opposite. I also need to quit looking for family for reassurance they end up saying something that makes the anxiety worse like " Well, if you do have cancer there is nothing you can do about it anyway " that ends up scaring me more. LOL :hugs: to you all !!!!!

---------- Post added at 15:25 ---------- Previous post was at 15:17 ----------

Thanks stressedmamof3:) holiday is supposed to be fun and relaxing, but I understand that HA does NOT take a holiday break. My son's 11th b-day was this weekend and I spent most of it worrying and clenching my teeth waiting for the moment when they would go to sleep so I could google! SAD:( I sure hope you get to enjoy your time off and If you feel any anxiety instead of getting on google get on here and ask for someone to talk you down. I know that is what I will do from now on.... no more google for this girl:) I am here too if you need to talk~!!!

eastofeden

13-05-13, 23:30

Thank You so much for your reply:) I have talked to him about my anxiety but not about the Health Anxiety...... I did not even know there was a name for what is wrong with me, I just thought I was simply crazy!!! It's weird sometimes I find myself telling people close to me that I hope the doctors do find something wrong with me cause then they will know I wasn't crazy,,,, crazy huh? LOL It is the most bizare thing to have. It is awful to constantly worry you are going to die, it is a terrible way to live. Hate to know that other people suffer from this, but glad to know I am not alone:)

I can completely relate. In the past 6 months I have convinced myself I have pancreatic cancer, brain tumor, heart attack, leukaemia, stomach cancer, esophageal cancer, a stroke and right now I am terrified I have a blood clot in my leg - and I just turned 20 this week!
Health anxiety is one of the loneliest things you can go through.

1. Because you bottle it up and you just become more and more scared and 2. No matter how understanding your loved ones/dr is eventually they do understandably grow tired of your problems.

It saddens me to think how many beautiful days were ruined by my anxiety which brought me close to tears when I should have been happiest.

Hindsight is a funny thing. There's no easy answer. I'd say ban yourself from google. If you truly feel sick go to your dr and if he says there's nothing wrong,BELIEVE HIM. And don't try to outsmart your physician.
If you truly can't shake the habit, consider therapy and or anti anxiety meds. And remember everyone here is going through the same thing - you're not alone.

summer55

14-05-13, 02:29

eastofeden:) I had forgotten about some of the other things that I have thought that I had till you mentioned them. Geez, my list is longer than I thought..Lol:) Leukemia, throat cancer, oral cancer. I don't know why I did not realize sooner that this was not normal. I was so used to being this way that it just became part of my daily life. I long to be like other people thta are care free! I feel like if I quit worrying that is when something will happen as if the worrying keeps it away.... so strange I know:) I am on Effexor, I have been on meds ever since I had my 3rd child for mild depression but the Effexor has made the anxiety worse but helped the depression. It's never a win-win is it? After I had my 4th child is when the anxiety about health reared it's ugly head. It is such a stress relief to be able to talk about this with others who understand. Today is the first day in a couple weeks I feel somewhat calm. I am going to the doctor on Thursday to have my moles checked and going to ask if he can remove 3 big ones so I won't have to worry about them anymore. Some of the other ailments I have thought I have had in the past come back every so often, but not as much as the skin cancer anxiety. I have lost 27 pounds since Feb. with diet and exercise and of course now I think I have lost weight because I have cancer even though I logically know why I have lost weight! UGH!!!

---------- Post added at 20:29 ---------- Previous post was at 20:25 ----------

I have been concerned about blood clots as well... I started exercising alot and my muscles were hurting and of course I started thinking I had a blood clot! Even though I knew I had been exercising I still was able to convince myself I had a blood clot and was going to die! Do you take anything for this anxiety?:)

Lilharry

14-05-13, 02:39

I totally know how you feel! Until yesterday I was 100% convinced I had bowel cancer that had spread into my spine (thanks google). I had a colonoscopy yesterday and I do not have cancer!

I have found this online module, that you can work through at your own pace, to be really helpful http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=53 Hopefully it can help you too.

summer55

14-05-13, 03:07

Oh yeah spine cancer! I've thought I have had that too. I had heard about a 25 yr old that my husband knew that was having back aches, so went to the doctor and had cancer all up his spine so now every time my back hurts I have spinal cancer! I don't know about anyone else but I won't go to funerals because it sends my anxiety spinning, I will even take a longer way so I do not have to pass the funeral home down the street from me....it physically makes me sick! Crazy huh??:) thanks for the link I will check it out. :hugs:

---------- Post added at 21:07 ---------- Previous post was at 21:06 ----------

Yup definitely thanks Google right? Google is my worst enemy!