Advice and help with lost identity?

[Leannesincy]

Hi I'm thirty years old and have suffered with anxiety and depression since my late teens.
For the last 12 years I've spent too much time worrying about what other people think of me, obsessing over my appearance and weight. The problem really only started when I became 'pretty' I know it sounds crazy but up until I turned 18-19 I was more like a boy than a girl, never cared what anyone thought about me. It's only since I've lost the Tom boy traits and started to take care of myself that I am an anxious mess.
I have an eight year old son and after I had him I had post natal depression followed by clinical depression. I have had ups and downs most years but on a whole my life is good I could be in a lot worse situation.
I feel like I've lost my identity as I now constantly worry about my image, when I became a mum I felt like I had to be more grown up and responsible and that kind of changed the way I dressed. I'm having a crisis at the moment because I feel like I've morphed into somebody I don't know. I want somebody to help me stop obsessing in the mirror and wanting to change parts of myself, I don't want to spend the rest of my life worrying about aging when it is an enevitable part of life that I have no control over.
I wish I had switch that I could just turn of my brain.
Any advice would be great.
Thank you

---------- Post added at 17:26 ---------- Previous post was at 16:30 ----------

Just wanted to add that I'm not conceited in any way, I'm extremely insecure, I know that it may sound like it from my comment about how my anxiety really started when I lost the gorkyness from my teen years and 'blossomed'. Thanks

[reenymac]

Hi Leanne, I experienced a similar loss of identity a couple of years ago, consumed with the way I looked and I am not vain at all, think it may be to do with low self esteem and being hyper critical in the way you look, it's funny this happened to me when I turned 40 and I was so worried about aging, I am totally over it now, try this trick when you walk under any doorway tell yourself that you accept the way you look and you are happy with the way you look, a therapist taught me this trick and it really does help.

Take care Reeny

[inCOGnito]

I lost my identity last year, sadly some of it came back. Funny how you can lose it. If it can be lost is it really your identity? And if you have an identity that you don't like now is that your real identity either? :)