Worried about weekends!

[taffysteve]

This may sound silly - but I am nervous of weekends!

Basically, when I am in work, I have to 'put the face' on things and get on with it to the best of my ability but on weekends, I have nothing going on to occupy my mind.

I have taken some steps on this, like going to the gym, shopping or visiting friends but all of these things only take a fraction of the day.

I find Sundays the worst - with that sense of impending doom from the moment I open my eyes and thinking "what can I do to stay busy today?".

For some reason, I start dreading the weekend from Tuesday onwards. Ridiculous!

Does this make sense to anyone? Can anyone relate?

[Kathy]

Hi there!

Snap again! I find that weekends are often pretty awful. Looking back through my diary the other day I found that if I wasnt busy doing something such as visiting someone, or being away on holiday etc etc, that I ended up having the worst setbacks ever. I put it down to not being in a routine, from feeling aimless. I look forward to weekends thinking I can just relax but I have found that unless I am actually doing something I get more anxious. Im torn about this as Ive been told that "doing things" are "avoidance" but blimey you cant do nothing all day just to pander to facing your anxiety can you! Even if I have nothing major on, I find if I do something like sort papers out, do jobs I have been meaning to do, it gives me a good sense of achievement and puts a smile on my face.

KathXX

[taffysteve]

Thanks Kathy...Yes you are right. I bought 'The Linden Method' and one of the pillars of success is 'make diversion your policy - at all times". At first I thought this made sense, but the more I thought about it, the more I was actually stressing about finding something to take an entire day over!

What are we like eh?:D

[Kathy]

Steve - snap again, I cant believe this. I also bought the Linden method. Initially I was buoyed up by it, but after a while I found a few holes in it.

Mr Linden was actually being treated by a counsellor when he made his recovery, and now he tells us all not to see a counsellor (which I think is potentially dangerous advice). Also if you read all the stuff, there are a lot more than 9 pillars! But there is a lot of good advice, and he is very reassuring.

I do think that finding a passion is important, but I, like you, found it very very stressful. I felt that I was a failure because I couldnt find my passion and felt that if I wasnt able to bungey jump 24 hours a day that I would not be able to get better.

So Id take that with a pinch of salt, nice if you can find an absorbing pastime but dont feel like you have to be skydiving all the time. Also, plenty of people will tell you that if you are diverting your attention from your fears all the time you arent actually facing them. Have you read Claire Weekes? She is very good - I think its called Self Help for your Nerves.

KathXX

[taffysteve]

Thanks for the recommendation Kathy - I haven't read any Claire Weekes yet - I have got to saturation point with spending cash on different methods etc...

I have tried Linden, Panic Away and Lawrence Leyton - to no avail just yet!

BUT, on a recommendation from someone with such similar feelings to mine, I will definitely invest!

Thanks a million!!! [^]

[Wannabeloved85]

oohh!!! just seen this post. I loved the linden method, but i do thnk its better for those who are not housebound, and maybe have a job or something. Because trying to find a hobby or something or just ANYTHIGN to fill a whole day and think about anything but anxiety, is sooo hard! i mean, if i said to you dont think of pink elephants, what do you think of? crazy.
I think the linden method could work, and proberbly does, but for those who are maybe already on the path the recovery.
I also have the Lawrence leyton, and this is doing me more better than the linden and it wasnt as expensive. I struggle to listen to the hypnosis track as i never get enough peace to do so! plus the hearing his voice twice sort of aggitates me. ive only listened to the hypnosis track once properly and the next day was heaven! i felt sooo much better.

Beccix

[W.I.F.T.S.]

I totally understand where you're coming from. I used to really hate sundays cos you've got nothing to distract you. Now I play loads of sports on sundays: football, netball (!) and badminton and I find myself looking forward to thme much more


Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

[Piglet]

I find Sundays are abit like this for me it seems an aimless sort of day on the whole. I think for me this is cos the kids see their dad on a Sunday, when they don't it makes such a difference!

I can heartily recommend the Claire Weekes book too Steve. I also find Glenn Harrolds cd's very relaxing.

I do find it's best to set myself a little list of 'to do' things for Sundays, even if these are reminders to eat chocolate and watch the Eastenders omnibus!:D:D

Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[taffysteve]

Thanks Piglet and everyone else!

Piglet, I bought Clare Weeks' book and I have to say it's fantastic! I wish I bought it ages ago to be honest....It spoke to me and it was as if she was writing to me directly. Fab...

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance... I hope you dance

[Kathy]

Hi Steve

Im glad you bought the book. I feel worse in the mornings like you, and I used to sit and have a read with a cup of tea for a few minutes every day - just dipping in and out. I used to panic and feel I would never be better, and reading her book used to calm me down and give me confidence that I would overcome it.

Hope you are improving?

Kath

[taffysteve]

I have to say - things are going well for me at the moment.

I'm always a bit cautious, as I don't want to get to down if I have a 'moment' again - but yep - can't complain...Even the mornings are getting more tolerable!

Thanks for asking - and for what it's worth, I think the time you and all the people on this site put in is fantastic! :D

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance... I hope you dance

[Piglet]

So glad you like the Claire Weekes book mate - like yourself, Kathy and doubtless millions of others this book really did give me a boost when I needed it most. Infact I think I will go and have another read actually!

Take care :):)

Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[Chris B]

Hi all

Why dont you reverse the weekend thing, turn it around? weekends are your time you can do what you like with them. Rather than worrying about weekends enjoy them, just think your not at work! you can relax. You have control, there are so many activities you can do join a club or read a book. But please dont be afraid of them they are not going to stop or go away so make the most of them. I was like you once but now i cherish weekends and cant wait for them to come around.

Take care and remember your in control!

[GAD]

Hi guys

I agree. Ive always found the weekends difficult (especially sundays). And i do agree that by constantly trying to fill every bit of time you have is avoidance. I always seem to need a "project" or something to look forward to in order to get me through the quieter times! I find that this makes me unable to ever relax properly and i find myself rushing about constantly (its such a pain in the axse not being able to ever relax fully. I've heard quite bit now about claire weekes and think i will buy the book. can i get it from normal books stores like amazon?

Michelle.

[nomorepanic]

Michelle - check out the info on my website here.....

Reading for sufferers of Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Phobias and OCD. (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms.php?nmppage=reading)

Steve - glad it has helped you. She certainly was a fantastic woman!

People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel

Nicola

[nini]

Wow, It's like hearing me talk: everyone is looking forward to the weekend but I am not. I feel soooo weird sometimes. I talk to my boyfriend and I am wishing I was more like him. Sometimes, I jsut get tired of dealing with this and I wonder what is a sane person like him doing with a loon like me...I always tought it would get better but another year has gone by and the anxiety is still there.

I guess I am feleing sorry for myself today...

Nini

[taffysteve]

It's completely understandable to have these thoughts about why he is with you when (in your perception) he could be with someone with less going on...but the fact is he has chosen to be with you - and that is his choice to make.

I know from experience that it would be very easy to doubt why someone would want to be with you when you experience these feelings, but the fact of the matter is, there is soooooo much more to you that your anxiety...We (people who experience anxiety) see it as this all-consuming nightmare, but those around us who tend to have a clearer perspective, see it for what it is...A small facet of a beautiful person.

I know a year seems like a long time to experience this - but when you get better (you will, trust me!) it will seem like an uncomfortable blip in your history that you will have learned a lot from.

BTW, have you read Claire Weeks 'Self-Help for Your Nerves'? It is a MUST read - honest...

Anyway, chin up Nini and know that here, you have people who can relate and understand all of your feelings, no matter how illogical they seem. :D

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance... I hope you dance

[nini]

Ohhh thank you! I know, he tells me not to worry about it and he has known me for 3 years. We went out for 1 year a couple of years ago and broke it off and he came back because he says that I am what he wants in life. I guess we do doubt each other and feel insecure.

Thanks for the pep talk

Nini[8)]