Ever feel like it's just a matter of time

[Munchlet]

I'm really struggling at the moment, over the years I've had many worries but my main one has always been breast cancer.

I don't know why the only person in my family to have it was a great aunt who was in her 70's and we are a largely female family so it's not like there's a family history.

But over the years and as I get older I just feel like it's not if but when.

I keep reading about risk factors and to me I think I have lots of them.

First and only child at the age of 31
Taken the contraceptive pill on and off
Taken SSRI's on and off for years this is not a definate link but some surveys have said there could be a link (but then they seem to link BC to everything)
I'm overweight but I am losing weight.
I exercise but not enough.
and my final one is my mum commented that when she went for her mammogram recently the nurse said "oh must make sure I get all your breasts in as you have dense breasts"

Now my mum didn't think anything of this as most of the women in our family are very big busted and she just thought it meant her breasts were large and had to be positioned correctly but me being the HA freak I am knows that this is not a good thing.

I don't know what to do, I check my breasts regularly but try not to poke as I think I find things which sets me off in a panic.

I'm going to book an appt at the surgery to see a lady doctor and get a breast exam but I feel so helpless in the UK they don't do mammograms until 50 and that's another 10 years for me.

At least with smear tests as scary as they are I always feel Im being pro-active about my health but this is something I don't feel I have much control over and I just feel like it's going to happen.

Sorry for the rambling post just wondered if anyone else has this sense of helplessness.

[Mipsy]

Hi there. I saw your post and wanted to reply.
I have had the same fear. I'm a similar age to you and so far I've had two mammograms. Luckily at the last one a year ago, the consultant showed me how to examine my breasts properly and I now feel less anxious.
Perhaps you could ask your GP to help.
The rule is if it's smooth and moveable its likely to be normal breast tissue.
Keep a note of any symptoms as its very common to have hormonal changes during your mentrual cycle.
Lots of hugs x x

[Bond Girl]

My mother-in-law has had breast cancer - twice, once in each boob. On both occasions she said that it was easy to distinguish between 'normal' breast tissue & a lump. She says she has always examined her boobs as there is a history of BC in her side of the family, and so, as she was familiar with how her 'normal' boob felt, it was easier to notice even subtle changes.
Try & bear in mind too that your boobs can feel a little lumpier & bumpier at different times of the month in line with your cycle & hormonal changes.
The risk factors you have listed are just that - factors! Yes, there MAY be a link to BC in certain cases, but other people who fit into ALL of those categories may never get cancer. I worry too because I'm 37 & I've NOT had children yet - they say there is a higher risk of breast cancer in women who breast feed late or don't breast feed at all!! Sadly, it seems to be the luck of the draw with diseases like cancer. Yes, you can take steps to 'prevent' cancer, but there are no guarantees. Similarly, some people who spend their entire lives doing everything within their power to avoid cancer can still be diagnosed.
Thankfully breakthroughs in modern medicine & cancer research means that people who are unlucky enough to be diagnosed have a greater chance of survival than they did 10 years ago. Who knows, with continuous funding, they may eventually eradicate it altogether!!

Try not to worry. If in doubt & the anxiety is causing you serious problems, ask your GP or nurse for a lesson on how best to examine your own boobs & get to know how they feel so you can spot any problems early. But remember that just because you fit into a 'category', it doesn't mean you are doomed!! Stay positive x

[Rain]

My partner's mum died of breast cancer and three weeks ago we found out that my partner's only sister has been fighting the same disease for a year. So now she has two close family relatives who have had breast cancer.

Naturally we are terrified now that my partner is carrying one of the faulty genes which causes breast cancer. We want my partner to be tested for the gene but here in Ireland there is an 18 month waiting list for the test. To complicate matters further, the sister hasn't spoken to either of us for 12 years (despite us sending Christmas and birthday cards every year.) The reason she has 'cut us off' is because we are a lesbian couple. The test requires that the living relative with breast cancer is tested too, otherwise it's like looking for a needle in a haystack. We have written to the sister but she has ignored our letter. The sister lives in a different country.

We are both so worried. The test can be done privately but it costs at least 1500 euro - money we don't have. We are saving up for the 60 euro it costs for her to see the GP so she can ask for a referal to a specialist. It feels like a time bomb ticking over our heads. Yes, I do feel helpless.

[Munchlet]

Thank you for the replies Mipsy and Bond Girl, I have been shown how to examine my breasts before and I do examine them at the same time eache month. It's just that temptation to prod about in the meantime and analyse every ache or twinge that most women get and probably don't even notice but obviously with HA I have to have a debate in my head about whether I'm ignoring something I should be worried about or whether it's just normal horomonal changes.

Rain I cannot imagine what you and your partner must be going through that is just awful and I am shocked that your partners sister won't help so she can get tested.

Surely having seen her own mother go through it and now having to cope with it herself would make her want to ensure that no one else close to her had to suffer. I only hope that in time she comes round and does the right thing. I am stunned that 18 months is the waiting list, that seems like a lifetime when you want answers.

I did however read the Angelina Jolie story and they were saying how expensive the gene testing was and it wasn't always an option for women who could be at risk, which is a real shame you would think it could be something all at risk women could access quickly and easily.

Take care x