loupy
15-05-13, 19:13
my sister told me about this site shes a member, my 1st reaction was :lac:i dont need the site im ok:D,,,,,,, denial is bliss:whistles:,,, then nope. its no good ive lost my mask i wear, my mask that says :yesyes: im fine life great so it has its up and down but i'll get over it i have to:shades: but after having a complete melt down at home on mon and asking my sis to take me to our local hospital so i can get drugged up and sleep for ever in fairey land and take complete control of the tea trolly, i had to admit its here the dreaded relasp to my depression, its like a ghost that follows me around:mad:. so forcing myself to make an appointment to the doctors like a snail crawling to his office still stating:lac:nope im fine im just tired , i had to admit im not coping with life and its a black hole:weep::weep:,,,,, so my 1st day of my hatied anti-depressent, ive fallen out with myself the world, im:mad:.
last nite i took my 1st tablet i played the IN OUT GAME in my mouth for an hour then once its had gone down my throat i was heaving trying to get it back out the panic:scared15: set in OMG ..... so i go to bed try relax loraine it be fine but the the breathing start i cant get enough oxygen in my mouth quick enough and thats how i fell asleep, then PING:wacko::scared15: im awake again and thats how the night went awake sleep awake sleep sweating panic cant breath:scared15::weep: i hate my life my body why me?????? this sucks :lac::weep:.
so i take the dog for a walk excercise good for you loraine , but im so tired im forcing myself to do the simplist thing, my dog on the other hand thinks its play time i bearly have enough energy to breath and walk, then its start:wacko:OMG i cant breath i sit down im in the middle of no where fields no one around the dogs looking at me like :unsure:hang on my walks no over no time for a break.... i call my sis she talks me through another axiety attack,,, bless her she in tyhe moddle of her work day she proberly get sacked by the time my relasp passes:blush:. get home safely make a cupa tea then fire the PC up, and thats been me all day sitting looking reading on the web site, then im like i dont need this im ok :lac:so i delete my thread, and thats been the patten all day.
make tea:D
type:wacko:
delete:lac:
blank:scared15:
sit stare at PC:huh:
type
delete
blank
make tea
blank
type
i hate my journey ....... and ive got this all over again tom:weep:
so im pressing the send button now before i delte and deny again.
last nite i took my 1st tablet i played the IN OUT GAME in my mouth for an hour then once its had gone down my throat i was heaving trying to get it back out the panic:scared15: set in OMG ..... so i go to bed try relax loraine it be fine but the the breathing start i cant get enough oxygen in my mouth quick enough and thats how i fell asleep, then PING:wacko::scared15: im awake again and thats how the night went awake sleep awake sleep sweating panic cant breath:scared15::weep: i hate my life my body why me?????? this sucks :lac::weep:.
so i take the dog for a walk excercise good for you loraine , but im so tired im forcing myself to do the simplist thing, my dog on the other hand thinks its play time i bearly have enough energy to breath and walk, then its start:wacko:OMG i cant breath i sit down im in the middle of no where fields no one around the dogs looking at me like :unsure:hang on my walks no over no time for a break.... i call my sis she talks me through another axiety attack,,, bless her she in tyhe moddle of her work day she proberly get sacked by the time my relasp passes:blush:. get home safely make a cupa tea then fire the PC up, and thats been me all day sitting looking reading on the web site, then im like i dont need this im ok :lac:so i delete my thread, and thats been the patten all day.
make tea:D
type:wacko:
delete:lac:
blank:scared15:
sit stare at PC:huh:
type
delete
blank
make tea
blank
type
i hate my journey ....... and ive got this all over again tom:weep:
so im pressing the send button now before i delte and deny again.