blush77
16-05-13, 12:41
I will give you a little background of the situation. I have struggled with anxiety most of my life. I remember as a kid, I was brought up in a strict, cult like religion. I stood out from my peers and although had friends lots of friends at school I was scared most of the time. I felt panic I would blush always laughing it off crying inside.
I was kicked out of home at 17 as didn't want to go along with religion, I struggled through with anxiety to keep myself off the street and worked hard. I travelled the world had good jobs, but at particular times in life, end of relationships mostly, anxiety and panic would ruin me, I walked out of some jobs unable to cope.
I am at this point in my life:
My fiancée broke up with me middle of march, well he didn't really break up he said he was depressed, wasn't sure if we had a future. He was starting a business in which I supported him financially for over a year and when I couldnt do my job anymore, end of jan, working in complaints he seemed to complete cut contact with me, unsure he said if he wanted to be with me. I backed off from him, I needed to pay for my flat and so found a job, but the anxiety took over and after one day I didn't go back. It was a good job,
The breakup discussion finally happened two weeks ago I was so hurt, he never really gave any explanation, I feel it was because I needed support and he had relied on me for money. Now I have a new job, after two days I cant go in, I worry I wont be able to do it, I cant sleep, Ive phoned them up saying im ill, I am :=(. I am due back tomorrow, I pray I will have the guts to go in, I cant leave this job I don't want to end up homeless. I cant seem to concentrate on learning, after two days I already feel I am making mistakes, what's wrong with me ;=(
Feel my life is over, sick of stress, bad relationships, hurt. Wish I was stronger. I tried anti depressants they made me unable to sleep for months on end. They were not good for me, I have propopanol which I take on occasions, but makes me sleepy.
I was kicked out of home at 17 as didn't want to go along with religion, I struggled through with anxiety to keep myself off the street and worked hard. I travelled the world had good jobs, but at particular times in life, end of relationships mostly, anxiety and panic would ruin me, I walked out of some jobs unable to cope.
I am at this point in my life:
My fiancée broke up with me middle of march, well he didn't really break up he said he was depressed, wasn't sure if we had a future. He was starting a business in which I supported him financially for over a year and when I couldnt do my job anymore, end of jan, working in complaints he seemed to complete cut contact with me, unsure he said if he wanted to be with me. I backed off from him, I needed to pay for my flat and so found a job, but the anxiety took over and after one day I didn't go back. It was a good job,
The breakup discussion finally happened two weeks ago I was so hurt, he never really gave any explanation, I feel it was because I needed support and he had relied on me for money. Now I have a new job, after two days I cant go in, I worry I wont be able to do it, I cant sleep, Ive phoned them up saying im ill, I am :=(. I am due back tomorrow, I pray I will have the guts to go in, I cant leave this job I don't want to end up homeless. I cant seem to concentrate on learning, after two days I already feel I am making mistakes, what's wrong with me ;=(
Feel my life is over, sick of stress, bad relationships, hurt. Wish I was stronger. I tried anti depressants they made me unable to sleep for months on end. They were not good for me, I have propopanol which I take on occasions, but makes me sleepy.