Crying... Is it a good idea?

[phil6]

Just wanted to know about crying.
When I get really down about my anxiety I just start to feel very emotional.
There is a draw to going home and crying...
I am really not sure if I should ! or is this just another negative thought?
Phil

[Tessar]

Phil, there is nothing at all Wrong with crying at all. It releases emotions and stress. I relate to what you say. Often, if I am at work and having a hard day I do feel very emotional. On occasion I have gone for a walk at lunchtime and let fly with my emotions, it helps. Obviously you have to choose where & when but I would say do it as it is a very natural thing

[phil6]

Thanks for that.... As a male I find it very difficult to cry... Sad i know, but it seems I have been raised in the old style where I feel I have failed if I get to the point of wanting to cry. I think I also feel that if I start I won't stop.
It also makes such a big impression on me when I start to feel over emotional...
I find myself holding on some days when I am out and about, and this is very tiring and adds to the anxiety... this is when i feel like getting back home and letting go.

[Annie0904]

There is nothing wrong with a man crying, like Tessar said..we all need to let out our emotions and I think it helps to have a good cry.

[cheshirecatqee]

Nothing wrong with crying it releases a lot of pent up feelings and I always found it helped me sleep

[flori]

Definitely one of the best therapies. Get it out. I was in tears at CBT session the other day.
It`s sad that males find it difficult to cry and they have to put on a brave front.

[Tessar]

I know what you mean about being brought up in the old style, Phil. Its such a shame that men are made to feel there is a failing in wanting to cry. In fact, because of my upbringing, even though I'm a grown-up woman (though I still feel like a child much of the time) I fight crying so hard. But I am learning it doesnt have to be that way and that crying is ok. That's why I'd encourage you to go with the emotions. The more you hold them in, the harder it gets to release them.
Also, I relate very, very strongly to you saying "I think I also feel that if I start I won't stop". This is a fear I know many, many people have. Like Flori, I have cried in sessions with my counsellor. In fact the nearly every time now something seems to trigger me - not least this week. Talking about stuff that I fear just set me off.
When I first saw her (quite a while ago now) I couldnt bear showing even a hint of emotion let alone cry but I explained that's how I feel & together we have got there. I can cry in front of her now without feeling anywhere near as stupid or silly. In fact this last session I felt like I was going to really, really cry. that scares me because like you I think "will I ever stop". But you do. Even if you feel really emotional afterwards and maybe for a few days there is no harm in that whatsover. You cry my friend, really do. It isnt as scary as it seems & its the holding off that makes it into a bigger deal each time it nearly happens. It will make a big impression on you but that is because there's things on your mind & they are causing you to feel stressed. Tears for anyone, male or female are natural. You remember that. As someone said to me that we were given the ability to cry for a reason..... & it is natural and most certainly nothing to be ashamed of. I like men who are able to show emotion, I really do. I congratulate you for having these feelings and the ability to share them here. Thats brilliant.
In my father's generation, my grandfather told my granny (who was a lovely lady) to stop hugging the boys when they got to 5. No wonder my father is an emotional iceberg. Perhaps if he hadnt been treated this way, he would have had a warm side. I think it's hiding inside him somewhere. Its very sad I have never seen it & that because of his upbringing we, as children, were made to feel it was a bad thing to cry. It was weak. Well, these days I dont see it as weak but of course deep down something flickers inside me because of the past. But I dont care what they said, I know it's a good thing.
I can understand you holding on when out and about but you are right about it being very tiring. And yes it wil add to the anxiety. But when you are home, you let go. Sometimes for me, writing about how I feel (just random writing - it doesnt have to be structured; just a way to release what's on your mind) is really helpful. It helps me offload both emotionally and intelectually.

[phil6]

Tessar,
Thanks for this....I have struggled on and off with anxiety all my life and have reached retirement age. I had a good long period of peace over the last several years and had this thing beat. Then when I retired 2 years ago i thought " now I can do whatever I want". I was a little afraid of boredom and took on some extra voluntary work at a local organisation who eventually "rewarded" me, giving me a high profile position. This involved me in some stressful responsibilities and the old doubts and worries returned, with the old knotted stomach.
I have made the decision to step down and return to the things I enjoy, still very much involved but without the obligations.... This has come as a shock to everyone and a little embarrassing for me. I never allowed my anxiety to force me to avoid situations but now I am retired , I did not think it is necessary for me to take on these kind of worries.
I will still try and face all my other little SA fears....
Anyway, I read your post and I have to say I did find it hit the spot and I did allow myself a few tears.... And thanks for that... Even at 60 , I am still learning all the time.
I think, this morning, I struggled with a bit of early morning habitual panic, but got up, went to the gym, recognised when I kept thinking about the future and the "what ifs" and tried to let those silly thoughts go.... If I am honest, I feel quite good now!
Phil

[owlkeeper]

Crying is definitely okay! Men have emotions too and I don't know a single man that has never cried during his life.

For me crying is always a relieve.. it lets of tension.

I hope you feel better soon :hugs:

[jayjoe18]

Nothing wrong with crying at all, I find it gives me a bit of relief, you can't keep everything bottled up all the time.

[unsure_about_this]

I am a male and I am proud to say I do cry quite a lot. especially if my IBS is playing me up. I am scared of everything at the moment. I been told not to cry at doctors my parents.

[phil6]

Thanks for all your support and advice...
Phil

[busybee09]

When i feel like i need to cry i'll run a bath and just pretend im having a really long soak. Only problem is i get terrible sinus inflammation when i cry so can't breathe properly which scares me!

Crying is suppost to be good for you it's lets out all the bad

[Horace]

Yes, crying is good! If you need to then go ahead...I always feel a sense of relief after like I've got rid of something I needed to.