Munchlet
17-05-13, 17:41
So I've been desperately trying to get a grip on the HA but it's just not happening, I'm off my meds because didn't feel they were doing anything but I just don't know what to do.
I've just got myself into such a state over BC again!
Just had a bath and decided to do a visual check on my breasts and as I'm looking in the mirror and raising up my arms etc everything looks good but when I actually look down at my breasts it looks like one side is more lumpy than the other.
I can't feel anything and it's not like an obvious lump it's just on the side if I raise my arms up my left breast doesn't look quite as smooth as the right. So straight away I'm in tears on the phone to my mum, went dashing round there to show her, go into her bathroom to check and show her and she can't see what I'm talking about, she said that to her they both look the same but I'm sure they don't. I can't see it when I'm looking in the mirror and everything is moving as it should be, can't see any dimples or puckering but the line on the left looks like it bulges out a bit more. My mum thinks if it was anything then it would be obvious and she would be able to see it and admittedly she did have a good look at both sides, even got another mirror to reflect into the other one so I could see, but I'm sure they are not the same and I'm thinking there's a deep lump or something that's making everything look bulgy.
I'm such a wreck right now, I've rung my doctor and the well woman doctor is going to ring me Tues pm to discuss and I'm going to ask her if I can go in and get a breast exam but I've got the whole weekend worrying myself sick over this.
I really hate how this illness controls my life and everytime it manages to get me in such a state.
I had a call from the CBT team today and they are ringing me on Monday for a 30 minute phone consultation so I'm really hoping that once I start doing that I can find some coping techniques as this is ruining my life :weep:
I've just got myself into such a state over BC again!
Just had a bath and decided to do a visual check on my breasts and as I'm looking in the mirror and raising up my arms etc everything looks good but when I actually look down at my breasts it looks like one side is more lumpy than the other.
I can't feel anything and it's not like an obvious lump it's just on the side if I raise my arms up my left breast doesn't look quite as smooth as the right. So straight away I'm in tears on the phone to my mum, went dashing round there to show her, go into her bathroom to check and show her and she can't see what I'm talking about, she said that to her they both look the same but I'm sure they don't. I can't see it when I'm looking in the mirror and everything is moving as it should be, can't see any dimples or puckering but the line on the left looks like it bulges out a bit more. My mum thinks if it was anything then it would be obvious and she would be able to see it and admittedly she did have a good look at both sides, even got another mirror to reflect into the other one so I could see, but I'm sure they are not the same and I'm thinking there's a deep lump or something that's making everything look bulgy.
I'm such a wreck right now, I've rung my doctor and the well woman doctor is going to ring me Tues pm to discuss and I'm going to ask her if I can go in and get a breast exam but I've got the whole weekend worrying myself sick over this.
I really hate how this illness controls my life and everytime it manages to get me in such a state.
I had a call from the CBT team today and they are ringing me on Monday for a 30 minute phone consultation so I'm really hoping that once I start doing that I can find some coping techniques as this is ruining my life :weep: