View Full Version : Fear of travelling in the rain
You may not want to read this if you have a fear of driving/accidents! When I was 17 (55 now) I was first on the scene of a horrific car crash involving 2 boys the same age as me. (I won't go into the details as they are so traumatic). It was raining heavy that day and now even all those years have passed I still get the images in my mind when we are out driving in the rain. This morning we were going on a 30 minute journey to meet my cousin and her husband for lunch. The rain here was horrendous. One of the roads was closed due to floods so we headed another way. The other road was barely passable (my husband was driving). I was getting more and more anxious. We managed to get to the main road again but after another 10 minutes, that road was also closed due to a severe accident. Fire engines, ambulance and police everywhere. Well that just brought it all back for me so I started to shake and cry and we had to turn round and head home. Only to find another road closed so had a big detour. Still feeling anxious about it. In therapy I was taught to change the image to black and white and that has worked well for me over the years but when I see something like this in the same weather conditions it is hard for me to control my thoughts/fears. I will add that I have been first on the scene at more than one accident. Another of which was fatal. I held the gentleman's hand until the fire engine arrived to get him out of the car but he died shortly after. (There was nothing more I could do). I seem to have accepted that one but not the first...I think because it was so horrific :weep:
Annie, I think it's totally understandable that these thoughts would be triggered for you when It's raining and you are in a car. When something traumatic happens you can't just switch your thoughts off. Most likely you have done very well over the years to be a driver because unlike many of us who haven't had to deal with what you did, we take to the road what giving it a second thought. The roads did sound really bad today. I remember years ago I was on holiday in Wales & got caught in flash flooding. I hadn't been driving that long & the water was up over pavements & to get back to where I was staying I went through a Flood higher than the sills on my car. I knew to go slowly & slip the clutch but it really was scary. more recently around Xmas time I had to drive through another flood which was about 300 yards long, again I don't mind admitting I was crapping myself & I hadn't been through what you have.but you did the right thing heading home because it wasn't a good idea to be out, you will be ok my friend but I do relate in my own way what you went through today.
I am just wishing I had just cancelled it before setting off. At least I am home safe and sound again. I heard on the news that one lady in the accident is in hospital with severe injuries. I hope she will recover.
It strikes me though annie that if you'd known how it was going to be before you set off then indeed you'd have cancelled. For all of us "after the event" we can think like that but of course by then we know what was going on out there. You didn't know it would be that way so you couldn't have cancelled. Like you say - let's hope the lady is ok.
Annie, so sorry to hear of your ordeal, you done well to get through it even though your anxiety re-surfaced.
I was involved in a very bad car accident when I was 17...thankfully no one was seriously hurt but the car overturned and was a complete write off. We were all lucky to come out with just cuts and bruises. It is still with me to this day and I am a terribly nervous passenger as well as a very cautious driver. I guess in a way, this is like PTSD and it is so hard to switch off the memories. They have affected us for so long we just know what we can and what we cannot handle.
As Tessar says you are home safe and sound now, but I can totally relate to your feelings and flashbacks from your past. Sending you a big hug :hugs: xxxxx Kitti
Thank you kitti. Yes my therapist said I have PTSD but I do think I am starting to cope with it better. I am still sitting here feeling anxious but trying to replace the negatives with positives so at least i am challenging my thoughts.
I am pleased the outcome of your accident was not too serious but it is still a very stressful thing to happen.
You are right Tessar..before I left this morning all I had on my mind was a lovely Toby carvery :D Ended up with sausage, egg, bacon and beans at home :)
To be honest, I'm impressed you managed to eat at all after all that!
You've had a traumatic experience, so it's understandable really that you have developed your anxiety about travelling in the rain. Sadly you've had that fear reinforced by the other accidents you've arrived at. It makes it harder to overcome your anxiety when it's more than a one-off incident. The re-playing of what you witnessed does sound like PTSD, and it maybe needs some more talking through with your therapist.
I don't think this is a setback in your recovery in terms of your coping skills. It's obviously going to drag it all up again, but I think it's a trigger that will fade, rather than a long-term setback. It's been a tough day. Be gentle with yourself. Keep talking it through if you need. But I think you will get back on track after today because you have coping skills, you are using them on this difficult day, and it seems your therapist understands.
I hope the lady will be OK.
Anxious_gal
18-05-13, 19:29
Have you tried EMDR? It can be rather good for reducing trauma. It somehow works by almost taking the fear out of the recalled memories and can even make the memory seem more distant. I'm not sure how it works for everyone though.
Oh maybe you've tried already :-)
I'm sorry that happened :( it's understandable why you don't like driving in the rain.
It's great you can still travel by car even if it's hard sometimes.
Glad you got home safe x
I was only given 9 therapy sessions (even though they told me I would need 12 at the start) and they have now ended.
I haven't tried EMDR but I have read about it and considered it. I may look into it a bit more.
With today and my toothache...filling this Wednesday :( and worrying about going on holiday a week tomorrow..I am getting quite anxious and really worrying that I am going to get worse again. I have had 2 late nights the last 2 nights so being tired doesn't help. Going to have a relaxing bath and hopefully a good nights sleep and wake up feeling better tomorrow.
It's understandable Annie, but remember to focus on one thing at a time. Weds isn't here yet so enjoy things and keep busy meanwhile. No need to think about weds, until it comes. Distraction!!!!!
I get days like this where everything seems to spin around in my head at once..arrggh! I wish I could switch my thoughts off!! Not much distraction on TV tonight with eurovision!
I am like that Annie, just been doing the quiz in chat and watching euro song contest with silence on. Some lovely dresses on there.
Anyway I just wanted to wish you luck-with the dentist.
You have your holiday to look forward to, after the dismal weather we have been having here some sunshine will lift your spirits I am sure.
take care:flowers:
Yes once I get over the trauma of travelling to my holiday I am sure I will enjoy it :) Wouldn't it be lovely if we could get excited about doing things instead of having apprehensions all the time?!
Awww Annie, sorry you had a bad day, hope it gets better for you. What a sweet person you are to stay with that man until emergency help arrived. ( I give you so much credit, I would have probably panicked, and would have been no good) Bless you, what a big heart you have. I am a nervous driver/passenger also, and bad road conditions, just set me off. I sit in the passenger seat pressing my foot like I am doing the break. lol, and I drive my husband nuts. Hope the sun comes out tomorrow. :hugs:
:D Debbi I do the same thing when my husband is driving! I hang on to my seat belt and I am constantly putting my foot on the imaginary brake! :D
I hope you are feeling better today Annie :hugs: xxxx
I am not quite so anxious today but still feel like my head is overloaded with 'things to do' rationally I know I have plenty of time to do them but my irrational mind is going into stress mode. Thank you for asking Kitti...I hope you are having a better day to day too? x
Annie, just read your post. Sorry you had this awful experience. It understandable you feel the way you do.
I was worried about my husband driving a 2 hour journey last night in the torrential rain.
I also get the overload of things to do. I'm a procrastinator and then I stress at the last minute because I haven't achieved what I wanted to.
So annie, let's empower you today.
Remember this: Whilst sometimes anxiety gets the better of you and makes you feel powerless, that is not the case. You do have the power to make choices. You can choose not to let it beat you. Why not make that choice? Maybe even talk to the anxiety like an old friend "oh it's YOU again...." tell it to sod off. It's not welcome!!! I talk to the negative whittling on that goes on in my head in the same way.
I have woke up really anxious and tearful again this morning. I haven't gone to my pilates class again :( Sitting crying instead :weep: I am in so much pain with toothache. I can't wait for Wednesday to get this over with. Had 4 hours sleep, it feels like the side of my face is swollen now and I am scared I will end up with an abscess :(
toothache sucks annie; its enough to make anyone cry....... i wish i could make it go away. are you taking anything for it? At least you are going to get it sorted soon. do you think they'd see you any sooner if you rang again?
I rang again but they have nothing before then. I have consultation at 8:45 tomorrow and filling Wednesday t 8:30. I am taking paracetamol every 4 hours but will take Anadin extra next time.
okey doke; at least you tried & you do know that soon this is going to be sorted. remember get your mind off it as much as possible. no sitting there just thinking it over & over that is banned..... I'm not being too hard on you i hope, i'm just trying to influence you for the better, annie... remind yourself how determined you are to get this sorted.... you are able to do this annie I know you are. It's just making yoruself believe it. Believe, believe, believe, believe, believe, believe, believe, believe, believe, believe, believe, believe, believe, believe, believe............
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