Anxiety back after 12 yrs free :-(

[Clint70]

Hi all I'm a 42 yr old male and my first experience of anxiety and depression was at the age of 27, it knocked me for six and as I'm sure many of you know it's the worst experience I've ever had in my life.
I managed to overcome it I don't really even remember how and have been really happy with my life, the usual ups and downs but I felt the whole experience had actually made me stronger in the long run.
Now I was pretty sure after 12-13 years relatively free of being over anxious, (of course I had a few nights here and there where the brain started over thinking)
I was going to be ok.
Alas 3 weeks ago I woke up with that feeling of dread in my stomach it took me a week or so to realise my anxiety was back strong the muscle twitching the de-realisation, the nerves feeling inflamed thankfully I'm not too depressed although I have been feeling tearful, the main symptom this time round seems to be the eye floaters. I am really trying to stay positive telling myself that I feel great, I have been making sure it doesn't stop me from doing what I have to and am trying to accept it all and embrace the symptoms.
I try to be positive about the good things in my life great partner great kid and thankfully no work pressure or financial worries.
I'm just taking it day by day getting used to having an hour here and there where I'm in absolute anguish, I've been here before though and got better I will do again.
I have been pondering what brought it on my father passed in January and I was lucky enough to spend most every day of his last 18 months with him, I was strong through all of that maybe the anxiety is part of me grieving now or maybe it's made me think of my own mortality now I've probably lived longer then I have left to live....who knows lol.
Anyways enough rambling, always keep hope fellow sufferers I was so much worse in my 20's and managed to be happy again and enjoy life, don't let this horrible condition define you, your still you a fantastic and worthy individual keep the hope. :-)

[Tufty]

:welcome: Clint

You are showing a brilliant attitude by not stopping doing what you have to and knowing that you got better before and will do again, these will help you recover. Try also to treat yourself kindly during this period, practice some relaxation, swim, paint, yoga.... whatever tickles your fancy!

I am 42 (born in 1970 as I presume you were from your username) and had my first anxiety crisis aged 26 and have had many good years inbetween too. I don't know what brought mine on this time, I think it's just life. Sorry to hear about your dad, losing a parent is hard. You can't reason with anxiety, it often has no logical reason to start so don't spend too much time worrying about the whys and why nots.

Keep up the accepting and embracing the symptoms because that's all they are symptoms that your nerves tired and oversensitive. This too will pass

Sam

[Darbysa]

Hi Clint
I can so relate to everything you said. You sound just like me, the only difference being the death of a close friend rather than a parent. Both equally sad and like you I thought I had dealt with it ok. Tufty is right, there is no reasoning with anxiety though I do spend a lot of my time trying to do just that!
This post has made me take a deep breath and think about moving onwards rather than focusing on how I'm feeling so thanks to both of you.
I hope your positivity helps you through this Clint. I wish you well.
Sal

[shakey1961]

Hi Clint. I've had what you're going through. I'll send you a private message.

[Ronno]

Hi clint, I can so relate to your post. I developed full blown anxiety when I was 32 , after a traumatic event, I found Claire weekes books a great help and after a year or so I was on the mend, and like you felt stronger for the experience ,
23 years later happy, managers job I could do in my sleep, and then disaster,my wife developed lymphatic cancer and had to undergo chemotherapy . Juggling hospital , family ,and work. I felt I could cope , I then gave up my job ,went back on the tools (gave me more time to be on hand ) eight months later treatment done and in remission , then radio therapy for six weeks , she then had some post traumatic stress which she soon got over and now six years later fighting fit. But while she was ill I started getting optic migraines which freaked me out , and still does . Anxiety was back and this time I can't shake it off . All i had off the doctor was " it's incredible I managed without drugs , I'm pretty grounded and try to keep stress free " good advice but I was looking for a bit more than that . Any way it's all ways a help knowing your not alone, and I'm sure relief is just around the corner . General anxiety I can cope with its the health anxiety that's hard . Sorry for the long post , take care. Ronno.

[Clint70]

Hey Ronno im so glad that your wife beat Cancer and long may she continue to live in the very best of health.
As for your self good sir, you seem a strong and capable individual, im sure youll shake the anxiety again.
I think part of the problrem with all of us is we want a quick fix and who can blame us only we know how awful it is to live with this condition. I am trying to be relaxed about it and see at as a process that will take time but of course there are moments in the day where i feel myself getting down thinking it will go on forever. I actually had a great day today got some important jobs done and helped my mum out shes stressed cause shes having her house decorated.
Then i hung out with my brother and cousin had a great laugh in fact if any one had heard me taking the mickey out of them today no one would think i was suffering at times crippling anxiety lol. We went to a cafe for a bite to eat then on to a friends where i coninued to have fun all evening.
I did have a point in the day when in PC world looking for a tablet for my brother to take on holiday with him where i started to get super hot its happened to me a few times in this recent bout of anxiety but i stayed calm and thankfully it didnt spoil my day. My main sympton has been brain fog and a lot of floaters in the eyes but im trying to stay positive and power through.
Im very conscious of gettting down with the anxiety and this leading to me compounding it with being depressed so ive been keeping busy and have found forcing myself to be sociable is helping me stop concentrating on myself, its all about not letting your thoughts turn inwards.
When i read through the threads on this forum my heart goes out to those that are suffering in a manner that sounds so much worse then me, especially the youngsters as i know how anxiety can stop you from enjoying so much of your life and that is such a shame for the young.
Well enough prattling from me, again i say keep hopeful it will get better try your hardest to choose to be happy or as happy as you can be, dont suffer in silence tell us how you feel it will help i promise :)

---------- Post added at 00:40 ---------- Previous post was at 00:18 ----------


:welcome: Clint

You are showing a brilliant attitude by not stopping doing what you have to and knowing that you got better before and will do again, these will help you recover. Try also to treat yourself kindly during this period, practice some relaxation, swim, paint, yoga.... whatever tickles your fancy!

I am 42 (born in 1970 as I presume you were from your username) and had my first anxiety crisis aged 26 and have had many good years inbetween too. I don't know what brought mine on this time, I think it's just life. Sorry to hear about your dad, losing a parent is hard. You can't reason with anxiety, it often has no logical reason to start so don't spend too much time worrying about the whys and why nots.
Keep up the accepting and embracing the symptoms because that's all they are symptoms that your nerves tired and oversensitive. This too will pass

Sam


Haha yes born in 1970 and i had that Tufty badge too lol, I hope your coping well with this bout of anxiety and thanks for your kind words.
The first time i got anxiety my lifestyle was very different to now it was the Rave Generation and i was a party animal i did a lot of LSD, Ecstasy, and smoked so much dope you wouldnt believe.
At the time although id knocked the Class A's on the head I was smoking a lot of dope still, i was sure this contributed to my original bout of anxiety and depression.
I havent touched a drug in 15 years am teetotal and have even given up smoking in the last year (i do use an e-cigarette) and in all honesty it was the best thing ive done.
Its really weird that i popped all those pills in my youth as when i read about people taking meds for there anxiety it terrifies me!!
I cant even take a paracetomol, thank god i had enough sense to know anxiety and depression is about chemical imbalances in the brain and the last thing you want to do is mess about with them by taking illegal drugs. Im feeling really good today and well equipped to handle this i hope i feel as good tomorrow no doubt i'll let you all know.
Feel well and thanks for taking time out to encourage us all sincerely appreciated :D

[Ronno]

Hi again clint , you were saying about brain fog and floaters , I get this allot its all part and parcel of anxiety . Some one was saying on this site about distraction , and if I can do that all the symptoms go for awhile . Also accepting all our symptoms are down to fear of fear , now we only have to totally accept the way we think is the cause of our misery and there's the cure . If only we were that trusting in our selves . As for our younger members , what trauma which so much life ahead , a common fear seems to be " lymphoma." And years ago before I had my very large tonsils out I had that fear . So now having seen my wife going through it I have tried to put those who fear this at ease by explaining the many other symptoms you get . But their fear is so great nothing will put them at ease . The one good thing about having anxiety today is its accepted as a condition. And you can go to a doctor and he or she will listen , unlike when I first went to our new young doctor all those years ago with so many confusing symptoms , and he simply said " your symptoms don't add up"!
It , after many visits our old family doctor saw me and diagnosed post traumatic stress , and advised me to read Claire weekes book " self help with your nerves"
My bible . Any way I'm rambling on now , thanks for the response , take care ronno