Baxtervix
22-05-13, 09:18
Well I did it! -- I pulled myself to a new therapy session yesterday. I was very nervous and I really didn't want to go, I didn't want to face or socialise with strangers.
But! because I'm not used to feeling like this and totally hate this illness I decided to go for it! nothing ventured nothing gained.
When I arrived the hall was empty! I was the first attendee (typical). I was introduced to a woman (cannot remember her name for the life of me), but she was the typical professional therapy type. Older woman, softly spoken, wearing cream linen jacket (totally creased) as well as bright orange linen trousers and open toed sandals (even though it was freezing and raining yesterday). You could imagine she's with the WI ! and makes jams, and grows veg and has a rustic house in disrepair! I know I should not make assumptions but that's just how I am at the moment (which of course I totally hate! and I know its very wrong of me). I'm sure she is a wonderful wife, mum, grandma etc.
My actual counsellor was there too which was nice as it showed support and it showed her that I actually did make the effort to turn up. She said there should be 14 attending today. I was quite shocked, but at the same time I was quite interested to see what these other people were like. Well we waited and waited, 1 lady turned up, face as long as goal post and not at all interested in being there - I disliked her straight away, she kept huffing and puffing all the time and I almost told her she might as well go home as she was annoying me with her total lack of interest in trying to get better. Then just before we started another lady walked in very quickly, head down and just sat there, didn't say a word, but the Counsellor obviously knew her. So we had a huge gathering of 3! rather awkward I must say as the room we were in was huge!. I guess the other people just couldn't face being there and to be honest whilst I sat there the same thought crossed my mind to. What the hell is all this about, and why am I sitting in this depressing room!
I was rather disappointed with the session. The woman that was taking the training started up her laptop and basically all it was were slides with different charts, of what Depression is and how it all works etc. etc. and how we break depression down into different categories and how to overcome depression. Facts that I think all 3 of us knew to be honest. There were slides of Aboriginal Tribes and statistics showing that these people never have depression because their lifestyle is simple and they are outside all the time, hunter gathering! Of course when she said that I replied well that's because they have fantastic weather, not like us in good ol Britain, where most of the time the sky is grey, the wind is blowing and the rain is poring down, temperature no higher than about 8 on a good day and this is May for gods sake! aneedless to say she said we should still take time to go outdoors to enjoy the light, and as for hunter gathering, well we have Tesco, Asda, Morrisons, we hunter gather there at the end of the week after work, more hunter than gatherer, cos if your like me your so knackered after your day at work and to then go shopping for food isn't really a relaxing event! :blush:. She also compared us to the Amish people who too live a simple life, who work the land and have family life. By this time I started to get annoyed. I know all about these tribes etc. etc., but I wanted to hear how us the British people, who are constantly on the go, working for a living, have busy lives, family issues, shitty weather, poor pay, and all the other stuff, get over or at least deal with depression/anxiety in our lifestyles - it just didn't do it for me :dribble:.
I was also cross that she spent most of the time dictating the words on the slides, she didn't seem to have her 'own' input. Anyone can put a slide show up and read the words on it, there was no interaction and when WE the 3 attendees (who made the effort to show up!) started to discuss a topic which they all had experienced in some form, the woman asked us to stay on track and could we discuss this afterwards! It was all rather rushed, and for me it felt like another boring training session which I have at work, you know the norm health and safety stuff, how to be professional in the workplace, all that stuff which gets drilled into you time and time again and when really all you want is to get rid of the management who get paid far too much for very little work, cos your doing it for em!
As you can probably tell from the vibe of this text, I didn't really enjoy the session. However... I will go to the second week to see if it improves. I always believe in giving people a second chance. Hopefully there will be more attendees to make the event more interesting and interactive. I do have homework to complete for next week, which is a laugh. The normal questions with little boxes which you have to place a number in it from 1 to 10 (1 being the worst and 10 being the best). Then you have to write a paragraph why your feeling like this. If I got paid for the amount of these type of forms I've completed since I was diagnosed with Anxiety/Depression I would be rich. It would be so refreshing for something a little less impersonal to complete. Well that's it for now folks! I'll post my update next week. I wonder if I will get a star for completing my homework...:yahoo:.
But! because I'm not used to feeling like this and totally hate this illness I decided to go for it! nothing ventured nothing gained.
When I arrived the hall was empty! I was the first attendee (typical). I was introduced to a woman (cannot remember her name for the life of me), but she was the typical professional therapy type. Older woman, softly spoken, wearing cream linen jacket (totally creased) as well as bright orange linen trousers and open toed sandals (even though it was freezing and raining yesterday). You could imagine she's with the WI ! and makes jams, and grows veg and has a rustic house in disrepair! I know I should not make assumptions but that's just how I am at the moment (which of course I totally hate! and I know its very wrong of me). I'm sure she is a wonderful wife, mum, grandma etc.
My actual counsellor was there too which was nice as it showed support and it showed her that I actually did make the effort to turn up. She said there should be 14 attending today. I was quite shocked, but at the same time I was quite interested to see what these other people were like. Well we waited and waited, 1 lady turned up, face as long as goal post and not at all interested in being there - I disliked her straight away, she kept huffing and puffing all the time and I almost told her she might as well go home as she was annoying me with her total lack of interest in trying to get better. Then just before we started another lady walked in very quickly, head down and just sat there, didn't say a word, but the Counsellor obviously knew her. So we had a huge gathering of 3! rather awkward I must say as the room we were in was huge!. I guess the other people just couldn't face being there and to be honest whilst I sat there the same thought crossed my mind to. What the hell is all this about, and why am I sitting in this depressing room!
I was rather disappointed with the session. The woman that was taking the training started up her laptop and basically all it was were slides with different charts, of what Depression is and how it all works etc. etc. and how we break depression down into different categories and how to overcome depression. Facts that I think all 3 of us knew to be honest. There were slides of Aboriginal Tribes and statistics showing that these people never have depression because their lifestyle is simple and they are outside all the time, hunter gathering! Of course when she said that I replied well that's because they have fantastic weather, not like us in good ol Britain, where most of the time the sky is grey, the wind is blowing and the rain is poring down, temperature no higher than about 8 on a good day and this is May for gods sake! aneedless to say she said we should still take time to go outdoors to enjoy the light, and as for hunter gathering, well we have Tesco, Asda, Morrisons, we hunter gather there at the end of the week after work, more hunter than gatherer, cos if your like me your so knackered after your day at work and to then go shopping for food isn't really a relaxing event! :blush:. She also compared us to the Amish people who too live a simple life, who work the land and have family life. By this time I started to get annoyed. I know all about these tribes etc. etc., but I wanted to hear how us the British people, who are constantly on the go, working for a living, have busy lives, family issues, shitty weather, poor pay, and all the other stuff, get over or at least deal with depression/anxiety in our lifestyles - it just didn't do it for me :dribble:.
I was also cross that she spent most of the time dictating the words on the slides, she didn't seem to have her 'own' input. Anyone can put a slide show up and read the words on it, there was no interaction and when WE the 3 attendees (who made the effort to show up!) started to discuss a topic which they all had experienced in some form, the woman asked us to stay on track and could we discuss this afterwards! It was all rather rushed, and for me it felt like another boring training session which I have at work, you know the norm health and safety stuff, how to be professional in the workplace, all that stuff which gets drilled into you time and time again and when really all you want is to get rid of the management who get paid far too much for very little work, cos your doing it for em!
As you can probably tell from the vibe of this text, I didn't really enjoy the session. However... I will go to the second week to see if it improves. I always believe in giving people a second chance. Hopefully there will be more attendees to make the event more interesting and interactive. I do have homework to complete for next week, which is a laugh. The normal questions with little boxes which you have to place a number in it from 1 to 10 (1 being the worst and 10 being the best). Then you have to write a paragraph why your feeling like this. If I got paid for the amount of these type of forms I've completed since I was diagnosed with Anxiety/Depression I would be rich. It would be so refreshing for something a little less impersonal to complete. Well that's it for now folks! I'll post my update next week. I wonder if I will get a star for completing my homework...:yahoo:.