manchester newbie very fed up

[scaredy-prat]

Hi all

Im coming to the end of what i can take. Im sick of being to scared to do anything! I cant even take my children out because i worry so much, i have to wait for the weekend when im ok to go with my husband.

My child has recently started nursery & its hell for me to pick him up but i have no choice. I try so hard to make friends but no one cares. Pretty sure i just come across like a freak. My husband manages to chat to everyone & found out more in 2 weeks (had surgery so had to rest) than i have in 2 months..

I also cant sleep lately & struggle to look after my children. Its 1.15am now & im worrying about tomorrow.

My dr knows i have social phobia etc & i tyried cbt but they were horrible to me & im scared to try again. Dr mostly dismisses me or tries to give me anti depressants that do nothing..

Anyone got any advice or anyone from manchester area out there? Would be nice to meet up with someone who knew i wasnt rude but just was frozen with fear so had no idea what to say to not look stupid!

Thanks in advance :) this is my last hope

[jelly2010]

Hi and :welcome:
You aren't alone in this and I'm sure you'll find comfort from this site.
When I originally went for counselling I couldn't stand the therapist and after one session never went back. I have now restarted with someone else who I'm much more comfortable with - perhaps you can ask to see someone else?
J x

[scaredy-prat]

Heya

Thanks for replying.

I started out with a trainee. She was annoying but ok then after a few sessions she said her tape recorder was not working & she was really nasty & upset me. I tried to make a compplaint, she denied it of course & her boss said well we can take it further but u will have to get up in front of a load of ppeople to say what happened. They knew i would never do this.. the boss then took over but she just kept trying to make me do really horrible things so she could see what i felt.. when i said there was no way i could do it she made me feel really bad & said she couldnt help. I went back to my dr who said he would put me down for "less intensitve therapy" but i got forgotten & once i moved house/town/drs it was never mentioned again, i had 2 children quickly after each other & then i had no time. Spent 4 years in hell, doing what i could, forcing myself to do things that upset & hurt me & now ive had enough. I dunno if i could face another therapist after that experience. No one really cares how i feel :'(

[Katie22]

Hi and:welcome:

:hugs:

[Tufty]

There will be people around you that care but when they don't know what to say or how to help they fall silent and try to ignore your problems. It's not that they don't care it's just that they don't know what to do, I've had anxiety for years and my husband feels helpless so we don't talk about it as we just go round in circles and there are no answers.

We care how you feel on here, else we wouldn't be replying to you. You've done so well coping for 4 years by yourself and forcing yourself to do things but it is time for you to seek help now, you deserve a better life, to be able to enjoy your children and be relaxed doing everyday things. 10 years ago I was in your position I was terrified collecting my children from school and often couldn't do it and had to ask friends to get them instead, I was too scared to go shopping, I couldn't sleep, eat or enjoy anything. With some CBT and medication I recovered and spent 8 years enjoying life, unfortunately the anxiety came back but I know it will go again.

You say that antidepressants do nothing, if you've tried more than 4 for more than 8 weeks each and they haven't worked you should ask to be referred to a psychiatrist, there are so many drugs out there it's almost guaranteed that one would help you. Drugs work best with a talking therapy like CBT, I can appreciate that your past experience has put you off but you need to put that behind you for now and accept any help you are offered. Please make an appointment with your GP, tell him you have had enough and are not coping just like you have in your posts. If the first GP doesn't take it seriously, make an appointment to see a different one.

You do not have to live in fear, you owe it to yourself and your children to be happy.
:hugs: Sam

[Whiskey]

Hello,
Ive been suffering with anxiety since sept but kept going and tried to ignore it. I started suffering daily panic attacks about 8 weeks ago and after 2 weeks of that I just had to go and see the doctor. She signed me off work, ive been off nearly 5 weeks and gave me a course of anti ds (fluoxetine/Prozac). I must say its been very up and down so far but I feel now things are starting to even out. What really helped is that ive spent hours reading through and talking to people on here who have had exactly the same experiences or similar to me. I have gained a lot of comfort from this site. Hope you feel better soon xxx

[scaredy-prat]

Thanks guys.

I think the reason im not coping so well now is that ive had a horrible year with lots of health issues and they didn't take into account my anxiety so it was worse than for regular people. Also with my son bein at nursery it means I HAVE to do things rather than doing them if I felt like I could on the day. Some days I really just cant do it, like today, but my husband is at work an hour away so for the love of my son I have to go but am almost crying. In September my 2nd son starts nursery so I will have to go everyday rather than the 3 days I go now. I also will need to get a job because we are so broke, but there are so few jobs I can get and it would have to be school hours only. Does anyone know if anxiety is actually a disability? Can the doctor officially make that diagnosis? I ask so that I can put it on my application forms so they would understand why I was a bit odd in interviews 7 they might hire me if it helped with their disability ratio. Some days I just wish I wasn't around at all, my husband and sons deserve better.