My dads funeral is coming fast I wanted the days to go so slow 😭😭

[illgetthere]

I still can't believe my dad isn't here no more I still have the numb feeling little things are raw in my mind I believed so bad he would be coming home again despite everyone saying no I have do many things I wanted to say but most of all I just wanted to tell him one last time how much I loved him and that hurts the most it's so sad you always think your mum and dad will always be there I've been lucky to have had such a kind hearted father not the best at times but I knew if ever I needed anything he would be there I'm going to miss him dearly the funeral is Thursday chapel of rest is Wednesday I font no if I should see him but I feel I have to because ill never get to see him ever again but I'm do scared also 😭😭the funeral is going to be the worst day of my life and death bring 1 of my biggest fears I don't think I'm going to handle that day my dream state is going to stop and reality is going to kick in I just no it so sorry for the long post
Take care god bless
Vicky xx

[Gee]

I can't even imagine what ur going through and I know this doesn't help at all for you but I just wanted to say how brave u r and god bless - everything will be ok, go to the funeral and be proud he obviously raised a thoughtful kind and loving child in u xxx

[Granny Primark]

Oh vicky I fully understand what your going through. Death is my worst fear. Always has been. My mum (my bestest friend ever) died when I was 29. Her 2 sisters age 25 and 42 had died a few years before.
But you know there comes a feeling of calm that comes over you. Its difficult to explain but I truly felt she was with me.
She used to wear a certain perfume and I smelt that perfume from the minute I got in the church.
Il be thinking of you. I know that you will be fine.:hugs::hugs::hugs:
Feel free to contact me. xxxxxx

[anxious_thoughts]

I'm so sorry about your loss :(
Stay strong with your mother and rest of the family xx
Take care <3

[almamatters]

I know what you are going through, and I am sending you hugs. :hugs: xx

[Magic]

llgetthere,
I too know how you are feeling. :hugs::hugs::hugs:
Take care xx

[Tessar]

Hi Vicky, Its very understandable how you feel Something you will be able to do at his funeral is to say the things you wanted to. There will be moments of great sadness on the day but also as has already been mentioned here, you will also have moments of calm. It takes time to accept that someone you loved dearly has gone, especially your dad & moreso when he meant so much to you. Whilst you are adjusting to what has happened, you will have feelings that he'll be coming home again. But in a sense he will always be at home with you, in your heart. You can still say do those many things to him because even after he has been laid to rest, he will still be there in your heart as I say. Its great tha tyou know & appreciate that you had such a kind hearted father. Whether you decide to see him is really entirely up to you. On the day, see how you feel. There is no right or wrong situation and what you feel inside is right is what you will do on the day. Personally I have preferred to remember people as they were, alive. But as I say there i no right or wrong. It is how you feel that matters.
I understand totally that the funeral will be the worst day of your life. Funerals arent nice but they are a chance to say goodbye so in many ways they are one of the things that bring closure when you are bereaved. Also they mark just how much a person meant to others. That is why they hurt so much and are so feared. Despite the day being very emotional & stressful, remember that you can share private moments with your dad on the day.
I think most of us fear death really, even if not all the time, it is there hanging around somewhere. I guess that's why people get busy living life because it is for the living. But that doesnt mean we forget those who have passed. His hepfulness and support will always be part of you Vicky. On the day, you will find a way to cope. It doesnt matter how you shape up against other people. Do it your way because you are an individual and grief works differently in all of us. Your post wasnt long, it was expressive and it's good that you have found a place here to express yourself. All your friends here at NMP will be thinking about you on Thursday. Holding your hand & helping you through the day. It isnt a day you had anticipated because as you rightly say, you always imagine your parents being there forever. I am sorry that your father died but at the same time, you do have some wonderful memories of him & you clearly valued him as a father and friend. That is why it hurts so much that he has gone. Well, Vicky, stay in touch wont you because we will all be here to support you. On the day you may experience all sorts of low points and even some highs. There may be times when you are in a bit of a dream & perhaps you will automatically do some things to detach from what is going on. All of this is very natural. Bye for now & remember we are all thinking about you.

[MangoMadness]

I lost my dad when I was 18 years old, he was taken suddenly without any signs or warnings, so I completely understand how much pain you must be in now. But I can promise you that with time you will start to feel better, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. You will find your own way, we all have ways to cope with these things. But find someone to share the grief with, be it family or friends, talking is the best way to chase away the darkness that can seem to much to bear at times. Talk to us too, if you need it, but understand that time will dull the pain, until one day you will have the sweet core of memories left, the ones that show the love you both shared for each other. Hang in there, I will be thinking about you on Thursday!

[eastofeden]

I'm so sorry to hear about that. I'm amazed at how strong you've been so far. You are probably still in shock, which is a very natural reaction, and that's why you have this strange numb feeling, because you aren't ready to deal with this blow yet. It must be really hard on you. I want to give you a big hug. My heart really goes out to you and your family.

I just want to say something, and I hope it doesn't come across as too stupid or insensitive, forgive me if it does.

But I watch this programme about real life people who have 'died and come back to life', been resuscitated after they've technically died, it's very moving and inspiring. And you know what the oddest thing is?
All of them, religious, atheist, agnostic, whatever. They all mentioned that after they died, they were actually reunited with their loved ones that had gone before them.

They said they saw them, heard their voices, spoke to them. One man mentioned seeing his grandpa who he loved so much and had passed away 40 years before, and he hugged him, and his grandpa told him he had to go back, but he would be waiting for him. And this man actually didn't want to go back. He wanted to stay there with his grandpa.

One man was even a doctor who had a heart attack, and doctors are supposed to view death as a very scientific and biological process. But he said when he saw his mother and father in heaven, he felt it was a truly divine experience. And he wasn't scared of death anymore. They felt their loved one's presence guiding them. And that seeing them again made them so happy. And science with all its' theories still cannot explain these experiences.

I know nobody can understand how you feel if they haven't gone through this themselves.

I just want to say that even though it hurts like hell and feels like the end, just because someone you love passes away, it doesn't mean it's truly 'the end', or that you're never going to see them again. No, the people who have actually experienced death say that one day you will be reunited with the people you love, and you will see them again.

I really hope that brings you at least some kind of hope and comfort. God bless you and your family.

[fruity]

i could not hardley stand/sit at my dads funreal. felt i was gonna faint/callapse. had panic attacks after & for a bout 2 weeks after. he was 62. im 28

[Edie]

Vicky, sending hugs for you :hugs:

This is going to be a really hard day for you, but you will get through it.

It's very common to feel quite numb at first. I think it's your brain's way of getting you through it. Reality kicks in after about 3-4 months and that can be a very tough time.

You don't have to go and see your dad in the chapel of rest if you don't want to. You could sit in the chapel and talk to him without looking at him if you choose. Or not go in at all. It's your time and you get to choose what you do with it. But it sounds like you think it would help to see him, so if you still feel like that on Wednesday then that's what you should do. We were advised against viewing my brother's body due to the injuries he'd received, but I really felt I needed to and I went to see him anyway. I made the right decision. I read an article written by a grief counsellor and he said that it was very rare to regret viewing the body, but more common to regret NOT viewing the body.

[illgetthere]

I want to thank-you all so much for uour loving kind words they mean so much to this week is just going to be the worst Tuesday tomorrow already :( life us so cruel sometimes I feel I've been threw the mill for 2 years and just as I started feeling a little better my dad dies I just can't believe it I really can't get my head around this situation at all x

[AuntieMoosie]

Vicky I'm so sorry for the loss of your Dad.

What you are doing hun is grieving. I know it's horrible, none of us like it at all, but it's a process we all have to go through when we loose someone so precious to us.

You may feel like you're on a roller coaster of emotions, sadness, anger, guilt the whole kit and caboodle really, but this is all normal at this stage and will pass and get better and less painful as time goes :)

Are you a close family ? If so try to share your grief with others that will know exactly what you're feeling like right now.

Thursday will be hard for you hun I'm sure. Try to break it all up into little pieces to make it easier to cope with. Try as hard as you can, not too run all kinds of scenarios through your mind, it will only frighten you more.

Make sure you have plenty of support on Thursday, remember it's perfectly okay for you to cry and get upset, there is nothing wrong with that, in fact, it's very healthy :)

You will get through this Vicky, it's very painful and feels unbearable right now, but the pain will lesson, then you'll have all of your wonderful memories of your Dad, remember hun, you'll always have those, so you'll always have your Dad in your heart forever :)

Keep talking to us whenever you feel the need :)

I'll be thinking of you on Thursday. Sending you lots of comforting hugs :hugs:

[lizzie29]

I'm so sorry to hear this, it must be such a hard time for you. Thinking of you and sending you strength. X