Please Help, Lymph Nodes

[constantworry]

Hi,

I am new to posting but have been reading this forum for years. My health anxiety at the moment is higher than I can ever remember.

This is yet another lymph node question. I have had the (can't type the word, sorry) fear for quite some time but for the past 6 months, it has been of the lymph node type. I have had a small lymph node on my neck for years. I decided about 6 months ago to go digging around in my neck to see if I could find others. Guess what? I did. Earlier this month, I finally went to the doctor and she said they were fine. Tiny and normal, even.

During this time, I was just gently feeling near the supraclavical area because I didn't want to find any there. I was quite firm but not obsessively prodding all day like I was my neck. Anyway, after the doctor's visit, I was still not convinced (of course) and decided to dig really deep in that area, just to be sure. After about a week of this, I did indeed find a couple of very tiny lymph nodes about an inch or so above my collarbone. My question is, do you guys think that these could just be normal. They are so tiny, smaller than a very small piece of grain. They are very movable and not fixed. Do you think I could have made them pop up from the constant digging?

I am to the point of no return today. I just can't stop. Can anyone please give me some advice. I have young children and can't bear to leave them if I die.

Also, toward the end of last year, I went to the ER for, what I found out were kidney stones. They did an abdominal CT scan and X-Ray, blood work, urine, do you think something would have shown on those? I know those would not show my neck, but would there be other areas that would be affected in it were (that word)? Thank you so much for any calming words.

[Scottie32]

Hi, I will start off by saying doctors don't worry about lymph nodes until they are at least an inch in diameter and have stayed that way for a minimum of 4 weeks. I know this as I have a swollen node on the back of my neck. Mine is the size of a pea. My doctor sent me for an ultrasound, anyway the radiographer in a very nice way basically said I was wasting his time, it was fine and way to small to be (that word). So with yours the size of a grain you really do have nothing to worry about. As for you scan and x-rays if you had (that word) in those areas the CT scan would certainly picked them up.

Also yes poking and prodding lymph nodes can make them swell, so you should leave them alone and try to forget them...Doctor has had a look and says they are fine.

Try to relax about them, that's what I have done with mine...In fact I see my swollen node as my little friend lol..I check its still there every morning and hasn't got any bigger then forget about it until the following morning. I will add that if it was (that word) I am sure it would of got much larger in the years you have had it.

Hope this helps in some way...

[constantworry]

If it just wasn't so close to my collarbone. About an inch or inch and a half on the sternocleidomastoid muscle. Google says that it 100% bad to even be able to feel anything in that area. I have been told that I have a very thin neck and you can feel everything. Oh, I am not going to get through this today!!

---------- Post added at 10:26 ---------- Previous post was at 10:23 ----------

Thank you for sharing your story, Scottie. It means a lot to me.

[Scottie32]

Nodes can be felt even when normal...This is how doctors check them. If they are the size you say they are then you really do have nothing to worry about.

---------- Post added at 16:29 ---------- Previous post was at 16:28 ----------

Also if it were (that word) you would certainly have other symptoms

---------- Post added at 16:31 ---------- Previous post was at 16:29 ----------

Oh and dont listen to Doctor Google....Most the time he has no idea what he is talking about...In fact he is not a real Doctor...You should just listen to the real ones....

[constantworry]

Thanks again. My sister-in-law's brother had L (that word). She keeps telling me that I don't have it because he was so sick and had baseballs on his neck. But then you Google, and it seems so many people have no symptoms at all. I just keep thinking that it's just starting and it will get worse.

I have had many, many health obsessions over the years but I just can't shake this one. I keep thinking that must mean that I really do have it after all.

---------- Post added at 10:52 ---------- Previous post was at 10:34 ----------

Has anyone ever been able to feel small lymph nodes in that area? Or would you be willing to try to now? Sorry, that might be asking a lot. If you suffer from lymph node anxiety, please don't try to find them.

[sarahsarah]

I am the worst person for googling but in my more rational moments (like now) I can see how ridiculous it is. I dont know why I do it, it never puts my mind at rest, ever. I know if I google "big toe C" a million hits will come up, even though I have never, ever heard of anyone with C of the big toe.

A few years ago I was utterly convinced I had L In fact this was my first exoerience of Health Anxiety. I had the swollen lymph nodes and all the other symptoms (especially the "non-specific symptoms"). Believe me when I tell you I googled a hundred, no a thousand times and everything on the internet pointed at it being L. It took me ages to make an appointment with my GP as I was scared out of my wits at it being confirmed. When eventually I did go, I was diagnosed with an ear infection and one course of antibiotics cleared everything up. That's right, it was nothing more than an ear infection and the effects of that.

One thing my GP did point out is our lymph are not empty sacs which fill up when we're sick. Of course everyone is different and some people will be able to feel them when others won't but just because we can feel them, it doesn't mean there is anything sinister going on. If you're fighting an infection like I was, your lymph nodes should grow in size, that's what they're meant to do.

In regards to your last point, I have just had a feel round the area you're talking about and I can feel all sorts of lumps and bumps round there. I don't know if I am feeling lymph nodes or muscle or bone or whatever. I will say that I once felt a lump where google told my my thyroid was and when I mentioned it to the doctor he told me it was my collar bone, so please don't rely on google for telling you exactly where things are in your body and don't forget there can be many layers of other stuff over the spot, making it feel different to how you think it should.

Sorry for going on, I just know exactly how you are feeling and I know it's awful. I don't have any magic formula for you to stop googling and making yourself feel like this but let me tell you one day you will have just had enough and stop, I promise xx

[constantworry]

Thank you so much for that. It's definitely a lymph node that I am feeling and I just don't know what to do. It's so small and hard to find. I just keep thinking that it will get bigger and I will die from L.

I talked to my chiropractor yesterday when I was there (he originally studied to be a medical doctor). He said he feels lymph nodes all day long because he always directly touches people. He said he can find lymph nodes on just about anyone. He said he has diagnosed L in about half a dozen people in 20-some years and that it almost always occurs lower in the body, like in the abdomen. He also said that the CT scan that I had would rule that type out. Even after that, I still feel this tiny lymph node in my neck/collarbone area is L.

---------- Post added at 11:56 ---------- Previous post was at 11:55 ----------

I should add I didn't ask him about this one specifically because I found it today.

[sarahsarah]

I am not doubting you but how do you know it is definitely a lymph node? Xx

[Uncertain27]

I know how you feel, I have this fear too. I can only feel one lymph node so I think, well as I can't feel the rest there must be something wrong with that one! :unsure: I've been to the doctor and he said they are normal though.

[constantworry]

Ha, Ha, I think that my obsessive digging has made me an expert!!

I just got the call back from my doctor's office. The nurse said that as long as it's not bigger than 5-7mm, it's normal. It isn't but that standard seems small from other things that I have read. She also said that I would have other quite obvious symptoms but she didn't want to tell me because I might think that I have those. Then, I asked her if the CT scan would have shown anything and she said, let's have a look. I thought for sure she would find something on the report that they forgot to tell me. She said everything was normal other than kidney stones. She also explained that abdominal CT scans show some of the chest and the groin area. There were no enlarged lymph nodes in any area of the CT scan. She said with L other areas are almost always affected and would have shown. I think also your spleen can be affected. She said after seeing the CT scan report, if it were her, her mind would definitely be put at ease.

So now what? Do I try to stop the obsessing? Would this make any of you feel better?

---------- Post added at 12:53 ---------- Previous post was at 12:51 ----------

I should add that, when I asked her if lymph nodes typically show a CT scan, she said they are what you would be sent for to diagnose them.

[sarahsarah]

Yes, I would take that as pretty conclusive and stop worrying. This is a medical professional who has some recent tests of yours in front of her and she is telling you there is nothing to worry about. If there was any doubt whatsoever, she'd have you back in to be examined further. Xx

[constantworry]

Oh no!! I have already googled!! Why did I do that? Why can't I just let it go?

Every story was the same. CT scans are worthless, bloodwork is worthless. Not that I hadn't read all of that a thousand times already. And I am again worrying since the tests were a few months ago that the L started after that. But I did have a couple of lymph nodes for years before that on my neck. Why can't I rationalize this? I am so sorry for being such a mess.

[sarahsarah]

Both CT scans and bloodwork are used to diagnose L- they are NOT useless, they are incredibly valuable diagnostic tools.

Look, I have been exactly where you are right now. I know what a state you have worked yourself up into googling, not finding the reassurance you were looking for, googling again to try and find it and on and on and on. I am sure you have read all sorts of things which you wish you hadn't so you try and find something to contradict that, but all you find is more frightening information. You're going to have to draw a line under it and stop googling and stop worrying (funnily enough, the latter usually happens when you stop doing the former) otherwise you are going to make yourself actually ill with worry.

Time to switch off the computer/ phone for the night and try and wind down before bed. A good night's sleep will do you the world of good xx

[lily1]

Oh no!! I have already googled!! Why did I do that? Why can't I just let it go?

Every story was the same. CT scans are worthless, bloodwork is worthless. Not that I hadn't read all of that a thousand times already. And I am again worrying since the tests were a few months ago that the L started after that. But I did have a couple of lymph nodes for years before that on my neck. Why can't I rationalize this? I am so sorry for being such a mess.

You sound just like me its uncanny, you have had the tests a few months ago (like me) and now you worry (in the meantime) you now have what you went to get tested for!

Its like an obsession thats all I can describe it as, I'm scared to rationalise because I think if I do the worst will happen:(

I have had swollen lymph nodes on my neck before years ago, at the time I didnt have the internet so couldnt goggle and was blissfully unaware what the lump was. Years later its gone and I'm still here.

[constantworry]

Thanks guys, Google is like a bad drug that you just can't shake. My husband is beyond annoyed with me and reminds me to think back when there was no internet. What would I think of all of my ailments then. Probably not much at all. When I was a kid, I had so many ear infections, sinus infections, you name it infections and my lymph nodes would be HUGE!! I never gave it a second thought. As a matter of fact, I once had such a bad ear infection that the doctor told me it was, by far, the worst infection he had seen in all his years as a doctor. It never phased me. When I had mono a few years back, it also never really worried me. My tonsils actually touched and had huge white bumps all over them the size of pencil erasers then!! They went down a lot but they are extremely funny looking from it.

Oh, I just finished an extreme neck digging episode. Oh, how to make this stop!?! There has to be a way, but then the what-ifs keep coming into my mind.

[sarahsarah]

You need some positive distractions, Constant. (Sorry to call you that but I don't know your name!). I see you are in the US. What part? Xx

[constantworry]

The thing is that I have so much to do. I work from home and it's so busy right now. I could be so much more productive if I didn't Google all the time. Or feel my neck, shoulders, etc. I also have 2 young kids that will be home for the summer after tomorrow. But, even when I try to do something else the thoughts are always there. They never let up. My husband is so fed up with me. I can find lymph nodes in his neck and he couldn't care less about them. I have one that is lower than any of his and that is the one that worries me.

[lily1]

The more you press the more they will swell up:(

I have thought about disconnecting the internet but my obsession to reassure myself that im fine is to compelling:(

[sarahsarah]

Yes, I have done that frequently in the past. When I know my googling is getting too much I just limit myself to half an hour on the Internet a day. It's amazing how my HA subsides when I am not googling all the time. Admittedly it does take willpower but the benefits are instant and very, very noticeable. Definitely worth a try xx

[constantworry]

I am such a mess. My chiropractor stopped by to see the landscaping work we have been doing to the house and I made him feel my neck!! What kind of loon am I? He said it was totally normal. The lymph node was normal size. He told me I need to rationalize this. He said he knows I know that it's not L, but I don't. Oh, the what-ifs are just awful.

[mark bucks]

Just found this because i am in exactly the same position! I know it has been a while now but how dod you get on? are you over it? if so how did you do it? i cannot stop checking for lumps and bumps it seems to be every two minutes!! it is driving me crazy and making me sick with worry. The worst place is my neck and collar bone, i have actually made my neck really sore and stiff from digging around. I am suffering with headaches fron stress and i am completely miserable, i almost quit my job yesterday just because i didn't see the point of being here.

I hope it worked out for you and that i manage to do the same.

[crinkle]

Yes I would love to know the same situation as both of you now and I'm totally freaking out. Would love to know how you are feeling.

[Labrujis23]

I know this is an old post but what happened with your collar node? I have the same thing and I'm really depressed and anxious. please reply!!