Mclovin
30-05-13, 15:24
Hello all,
I am an 18 year old male from the UK. I suffer quite considerably with anxiety.
I am not a 'Full time' sufferer, I'm triggered by situations, the thing is it's most situations don't involve me being alone at home.
Background: I diddnt give my self the best start in life, at age 13 I so stupidly was lead down a path of smoking cannabis (I think this caused it) up until about 16. I also drank underage regular aswell as smoked cigarettes (I still do)
Now I am obviously clean and have been for years, however the damage is done and in my mind it's here to stay.
Situations I struggle in: All things public, walking through town, entering shops, public transport and eating in public...Even family meals at home.
Symptoms: I feel physically sick (I think) or rather I feel an extreme 'build up' of excess energy, adrenalin I presume, that leads to me to think I'm going to be sick...I then panic twice as much.
I do not fear vomiting it self, I fear vomiting in public, of course I feel Ill as a symptom so it truly is a vicious circle.
I consciously know it's ridiculous, and know I cannot be just simply 'Fall ill' because too many people are in the room for example, but I Cannot talk my self out of it.
I have been to a private counsellor for CBT which did not help me at all (£400's worth of treatment)
And I have researched medication Xannax/Valium etc.
Now, I have been to my GP and was given 40mg Propranolol which does nothing for me.
So iv been considering going back and enquiring about Valium. I have read bad things about Xannax, about how it's half-life causes high's and is extremely addictive by nature, with often sever withdrawal symptoms.
I have absolutely no need to be taking any medication daily, as I am not a constant sufferer, I just need a 'crutch' during my hardship so I can at least get a job, or go to college you know?
I am completely at the mercy of my anxiety and I'm getting really tired of it, and want to use medication to get my self back into the real world, remind myself I can do it, and then leave it alone.
In my mind, I MUST get my self into these hard situations, over-come them, and learn from it. But no matter how many times I 'Survive' (:D) say, a bus journey, I will still just as anxious the next time around.
I feel like grabbing my self and slapping my self silly!
I am a socially active person (Before anxiety took hold) who enjoyed company, and hated to be alone. I am now the opposite, which is horrible for my personality type.
Sidenote: I do have an addictive nature. I smoke, and go through periods of heavy drinking (This is my current medicine) lasting usually about 3-4 days, by then I stop oft own accord (It's weird I know)
I would not describe my self as depressed. I mean I often feel crappy about my situation, and about not being able to lead a normal life, but it doesn't get me down...Taking it on the chin and telling my self that one day soon I will man up and move on. (My father was quite old fashioned, too him mental struggles are a myth lmao, but he is a very supporting figure) lol
What do you guys think?
Thanks for reading :)
I am an 18 year old male from the UK. I suffer quite considerably with anxiety.
I am not a 'Full time' sufferer, I'm triggered by situations, the thing is it's most situations don't involve me being alone at home.
Background: I diddnt give my self the best start in life, at age 13 I so stupidly was lead down a path of smoking cannabis (I think this caused it) up until about 16. I also drank underage regular aswell as smoked cigarettes (I still do)
Now I am obviously clean and have been for years, however the damage is done and in my mind it's here to stay.
Situations I struggle in: All things public, walking through town, entering shops, public transport and eating in public...Even family meals at home.
Symptoms: I feel physically sick (I think) or rather I feel an extreme 'build up' of excess energy, adrenalin I presume, that leads to me to think I'm going to be sick...I then panic twice as much.
I do not fear vomiting it self, I fear vomiting in public, of course I feel Ill as a symptom so it truly is a vicious circle.
I consciously know it's ridiculous, and know I cannot be just simply 'Fall ill' because too many people are in the room for example, but I Cannot talk my self out of it.
I have been to a private counsellor for CBT which did not help me at all (£400's worth of treatment)
And I have researched medication Xannax/Valium etc.
Now, I have been to my GP and was given 40mg Propranolol which does nothing for me.
So iv been considering going back and enquiring about Valium. I have read bad things about Xannax, about how it's half-life causes high's and is extremely addictive by nature, with often sever withdrawal symptoms.
I have absolutely no need to be taking any medication daily, as I am not a constant sufferer, I just need a 'crutch' during my hardship so I can at least get a job, or go to college you know?
I am completely at the mercy of my anxiety and I'm getting really tired of it, and want to use medication to get my self back into the real world, remind myself I can do it, and then leave it alone.
In my mind, I MUST get my self into these hard situations, over-come them, and learn from it. But no matter how many times I 'Survive' (:D) say, a bus journey, I will still just as anxious the next time around.
I feel like grabbing my self and slapping my self silly!
I am a socially active person (Before anxiety took hold) who enjoyed company, and hated to be alone. I am now the opposite, which is horrible for my personality type.
Sidenote: I do have an addictive nature. I smoke, and go through periods of heavy drinking (This is my current medicine) lasting usually about 3-4 days, by then I stop oft own accord (It's weird I know)
I would not describe my self as depressed. I mean I often feel crappy about my situation, and about not being able to lead a normal life, but it doesn't get me down...Taking it on the chin and telling my self that one day soon I will man up and move on. (My father was quite old fashioned, too him mental struggles are a myth lmao, but he is a very supporting figure) lol
What do you guys think?
Thanks for reading :)