feeling so...awful

[Freaked]

Had a CT angiography today, and at first glance apparently everything looked okay. Waiting for the proper results. But I just feel...horrible. I tried to keep food down today and it just refused. Tried to sleep last night and heartburn and chest pressure wouldn't let me. I'm so weak I feel on the verge of passing out constantly. I feel physically and psychologically so tired. It's been three months now and I'm a 21 year old cripple. My friends are coming to see me later and I don't know what they'll think of me being so weak. Some of them seem to think I'm on the way out. I just want to get better and be able to climb a stairs and leave the house for something other than hospital visits, and be able to go and see my boyfriend's new place. I at least want to know what's happening to me :weep:

I see people walking down the street living life and I think that must be nice. Sorry for the rant; just a very hard time.

[bibliophilic]

Can't relate about the angiogram but just wanted to say that I completely understand about people thinking you're on the way out. I'm 24 and have had problems since January--first it was just abdominal, then in February I developed a swallowing disorder. Either way, I've eaten very little for months now and I've lost a ton of weight very quickly. My own mother talks about how I'll be dead soon and many of my friends distanced themselves because they thought I was weird. I dropped out of college because I was too weak to even get out of bed and right now I only leave the house to go to hospital visits, go to the library, or go visit my cats at my parents' house. That's pretty much it. They're only just now starting to discover parts of what's wrong with me and it looks like I'll have at least one major surgery in the near future, but I'm hopeful that I'll be cured. You'll be cured, too. We have age on our side! :hugs: