Was this really just a panic attack?

[greg123]

Hi my name is Greg and I'm from the UK, I have been suffering with panic attacks and intrusive thoughts for a while. The other day I had a bad panic attack I think. I'll explain the panic attack if you don't mind and then hopefully get some feedback on it as it's kind of got me worried that I'm going crazy.

I went to the beach with my family, I felt fine, I didn't feel panicky or worried I was having a good day. We were all sat around this table eating and all of a sudden I looked over at my sister and it felt like I didn't recognize her and as soon as that happened a bolt of anxiety shot through me and obviously I kept looking over at her to see if I could recognize her but I couldn't. It was like I knew who she was but it was like it was the first time I'd ever seen her, if that makes sense?

I started panicking inside, my thoughts were just rolling off each other, then I started thinking about where I am, that I am on a planet in a universe and it started making me panic. All my family looked unfamiliar, for about 2 hours the whole concept of existence seemed bizarre. Even when I looked at the sky I'd start thinking about what was beyond the sky, a whole universe and to be honest it made me want to curl up in a ball. I don't know why it scared me so much but it was terror.

Me and my sister then had to drive home with my nieces and nephews and it was a very weird experience. It felt like I was going insane, I knew everything I was thinking was irrational and I was trying desperately to get it off my mind but I couldn't and these thoughts about existence just wouldn't stop coming and neither would the anxiety but on the outside I looked fine, I don't think anyone even noticed I was panicking apart from my Mum asking me why i'm fidgeting so much.

In the car on the way home I felt very surreal, life didn't look unreal and I didn't feel unreal (that's why i'm not sure if it's deprersonalization) I just felt paper thin, like I was nothing and absolutely everything felt meaningless, even words in songs.....

I'm not to sure what this was but it really scared me, it hasn't been as bad since but I do get the odd moment where I suddenly realize i'm alive and I start to panic but it subsides if I do something to take my mind off it.

Does anyone have any ideas?
Thanks

[PanchoGoz]

Fear not, we all get this at some stage in our lives, a bout of existential terror. You suddenly have a horrid realisation about everything. You will get over it. I've written a few posts on it.

---------- Post added at 23:00 ---------- Previous post was at 22:59 ----------

*search existential terror on the forum

[Hyena]

I wouldn't consider it as a panic attack but it's definitely due to anxiety, almost the same is happening with me. I started looking at my mother and I felt like I couldn't recognize her and started asking myself questions like "what if she isn't really my mother, etc" even though I was perfectly conscious of her being my mother. Soon that feeling spread and I started getting the same feeling with all my familiars and friends.Everyone looked so unfamiliar and I felt disconnected from everyone.
I got those thoughts about my existence too, like what am I doing here, the world would be better without humans, everything in life seems pointless to me. I had dreams and goals in life but now everything looks so weird.
I'm pretty sure that what you're feeling is depersonalization, I have it too and it makes me feel surreal and that life isn't real but just a dream.
I can't say much to help because I'm pretty much in the same situation as you... I'm ok unless I start thinking about life and my existence. When I see my mother I still panic inside because of the sensation I get about her not being real, but I try to not give it much attention anymore. So my advice is, stop thinking about it. Everytime you feel it coming just try to think about something else even if it's something that makes no sense. Try to distract yourself, the thoughts will go away eventually. I started feeling better yesterday and I hope you start feeling better soon, too.