Reluctant newbie - hello all! (LONG)

[spanfan]

Hello,

I am 35, mother of 2 and a recent recruit to the relentless world of anxiety, and quite possibly depression.

Over the last few weeks, I have been unable to function properly which is beginning to severely affect my life. My anxiety began over worries with my 8yo son and his behaviour. In reality his behaviour is nothing naughty or difficult, just irritating habits, which I am reassure are "normal" (temporary twitchiness, sniffing, coughing etc!)

Up until a month ago, whilst the habits irritated me intensely, I could put the anxiety away once he was at school or in bed. However, this has changed as I am now constantly on edge. Fretting about how he will be on pick up, or in the morning.

This has made me lose my appetite, given me insomnia and made me increasingly anxious and depressed. I think this has moved on to being unable to rationalise that I will ever feel better, that this is *IT* for me. That there is no solution... all of which makes me even more anxious and depressed. I've also been stressing about future events and my ability to cope with them.,

I've been given sleeping pills which have helped my sleep and betablockers to regulate my anxiety symptoms. THe betablockers have half worked I suppose! I also appear to be eating better! :) But my head is still not well.

Yesterday, after a fairly rough half term (For me, I was on best behaviour in front of the kids) we dropped the kids off at my H's parents for a night. Within an hour of getting home I had a massive crash. I wouldn't classify it as a panic attack, but something very similar. I felt hopeless, in pain, and I told my H that whilst I was not suicidal, I could see no point in my life anymore.

On that note he called NHS direct and I got an urgent appt at an OOH clinic. He was great and thinks that I need more help, so I see my GP at 5pm today. I think I need some ADs for depression and CBT for the anxiety.

I have to talk here, as I have wrung my poor, wonderful husband out. My parents are in their 70s and wonderful, but not exactly sympathetic to mental health issues, my sister is abroad and has enough on her plate. I also want to hide most of this from my children. I've told them I have a "cold" in my head :)

My first real questions are,
1. What do you do to distract yourself from the anxiety when it really bites. I feel totally unable to do anything at my worst, meaning I am quite bored!! :)

2. When will I start to feel a bit of hope.

3. I have a big family wedding to attend on Saturday and I am crapping myself on my ability to cope. Any short-term solutions? My daughter is a flowergirl! argh.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for listening.

Spanfan

[grvjoe]

Hi,

I can really understand how it must be for you, managing your kids and everything. As a fellow member of our extended anxiety family, I can tell u somethings which help me during extreme anxiety.

1. Everybody in life feels anxious, so its ok. The best thing is to brush it aside as if its something very normal.

2. The biggest hope for you should be that we are all fighting this, and Yes we will succeed!!! Personally, I have been suffering from anxiety since the last 6 years, but trust me my medicines were god sent for me. It is only now, after suffering some personal setbacks that I am back on the anxiety front. But dont worry, anxiety can be controlled so you can live a normal and happy life.

3. For short term help, I suggest you talk to your doc, he can prescribe whats best for you. My doc gave me Lorazapam for such times especially when I was flying, or had a big meeting etc.

PS : Deep breathing and relaxation does wonders to curb your anxiety, maybe you can give it a try!:)

Take Care and hope you get well soon!

[spanfan]

Thank you.

I wish I could brush it aside. I am not quite there yet. I am glad that at least there is hope for some respite.

I am hoping my GP can suggest a temporary sticking plaster to get me through the next few days.

x

[amaryllis_celladine]

Hello. I am going through the phase of having very intense anxiety attacks myself. They aren't panic attacks, they're something different. You sound like you're going through something very similar to what I'm going through! Except instead of a child, it's my boyfriend. I am so relieved to know that this happens to other people! I know that sounds odd, cause I'm very sorry you're in this much pain, but knowing I'm not alone makes it less dangerous for me, I suppose?

You have to keep in your head that these feelings, however intense, will not hurt you physically. They are very uncomfortable, they are *terrible*. But they will pass. I think getting some form of therapy, particularly Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and the like, would be very helpful.

I also find some videos of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) work quite well. Probably not because of the lines on the body or whatever they go on about, but a more basic reason - calming self-talk, calming breathing, and touching on the body in patting motions, which is a very maternal thing. I feel like a baby again when I do that sort of thing.

Just know that you are not the only one going through this, and that as bad as you feel, there is always an up again afterwards. I've felt in that place before, where I feel there is no hope for me. It is not the truth. It is the Limbic Voice talking to you. I call my fears, my anxieties, my cynicism my "Limbic Voice". It's the animal part of me that was once quite helpful to humans, but is now sometimes not so helpful.

The worst thing in the world to you is your son having something wrong with him. That is a natural worry to have! It is okay that you are worried about him. Being worried about him will not harm you, or him. Accept that part of yourself that worries about him, understand why it is so, and then if you can, let it go.

It's hard, I know, as I am trying to perfect this myself and I don't always succeed (I didn't tonight, for instance, as I had a bad day). But I eventually do.

All the best. :)

[spanfan]

Thanks amaryllis. You talk a lot of sense. Hopefully I can get the help I need and work through my issues sooner rather than later :)

[Mark13]

spanfan

Welcome. You've come to the right place. I also post here to give my poor wife a rest :)

You've done the right thing in seeing your GP, and CBT may certainly be the way to go.

I read somewhere that it's not what happens to you that causes stress but how you react to these events.

It's easier said than done or I wouldn't be posting here :)

I wouldn't recommend medication as a first-line approach, but it's certainly helped me and I know a lot of GPs are quick to prescribe, especially given the waiting lists for "talking therapies".

In the meantime, as mentioned above by another poster, learning good breathing exercises may help, and buying a book on mindfulness (another relaxation strategy) may be of benefit.

Mark