My fluoxetine journey [Archive]

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KatieJayne

03-06-13, 19:55

Hi All

I'm a newbie here but have been reading the posts for sometime. I actually think that it's having nobody who truly understands how I feel (although my boyfriend really does try) that's hindering my recovery so hopefully this forum will help!

My anxiety started August 2011. I was 25 years old and it came out of nowhere. I say nowhere; I've always been a 'worrier' but they were usually rational worries. A weekend in August after being in a car crash, having a miscarriage and then my boyfriend being rushed into hospital with appendicitis all in the space of four days was the trigger I think! I'd get panic attacks out of nowhere.

Fast forward a year and we bought our first house. Unfortunately we had bad neighbours. Antisocial bad neighbours. Couldn't use the garden, would dread coming home type of neighbours. This sent my anxiety to an all time high. I'd literally make myself sick through panic. That's when I started taking Propananol every day, 160mg slow release. It really helped with the panic - it took the want to run out of the house in tears away, it didn't stop the anxiety though. It also made my face go numb quite often and I'd get breathless going up some stairs! I also had some CBT. Worked well when I was having it but as soon as I stopped it didn't stay with me.

Fast forward another year and we moved. We bought a house in an area we grew up in, close to family and friends and right opposite where we used to rent which we loved. My neighbours are now a family (as opposed to a drug using idiot) with two boys. Polite family, just going about their normal family lives but obviously, having two boys (plus a massive trampoline) = noise to a certain extent. I started slipping into old panic ways. My experience with my last neighbours seems to have turned me into an absolute nervous wreck. Constantly getting anxious at any noise (boys playing outside loudly - not exactly antisocial is it!). This noise anxiety has now extended to other places like pubs and restaurants but its most profound in my home. I suppose I want to see it as 'my space' and therefore despite the fact I'm attached don't want to hear a single pin drop which isn't rational. I feel like I live in earplugs which drives my other half crazy!

My doctor switched me from Propananol to Fluoxetine. Partly because I'd like to think a about starting a family sometime soon and this is the 'safest' and partly because I don't feel it's my heart that I need to control now, it's my head!! Before my reactions although extreme, there was a reason. Now there's not so much one but my own distortions.

First week I was as shaky as hell! Literally couldn't text off my phone or stand in the shower! Doctor prescribes some Diazapan too to take the edge off.

Second week I felt like I was on the edge of a cliff. Sort of okay, and more rational, but feeling like the slightest trigger could send me over the edge. I had one full blown crying panic episode that week.

Third week which I'm in now, actually seen moments of happiness, but tonight another evening of talking like a panic stricken woman; but no crying or running away!!

Sleep wise I can't get enough! I suppose that's a good thing as it gives me a bit of a break.

I'm really hoping I see improvements on these meds. I tried hypnotherapy a month or so ago and whilst it helped for a week and I actually felt normal, I just slipped back again!

I'll keep you updated!

---------- Post added at 19:55 ---------- Previous post was at 19:50 ----------

I should probably have said; I'm on 20mg fluoxetine and like the others have mentioned, morning anxiety is really quite high at the moment. :(

jelly2010

03-06-13, 20:32

Hi Katie and :welcome:
I'm sorry to hear about what you have been through and are continuing to go through. You really have a lot on your plate.
First of all it's important that you know you are not alone. So many of us here have similar experiences and everyone I have 'met' on this forum has been so friendly and supportive!

Secondly it's important to know that the fluoxetine can take a fair few weeks to properly work and in the meantime you may experience some unfortunate side effects but they will pass. And try not to be disheartened if you have some good days followed by some bad - it's normal for it take a while to even out.

I really hope it helps you! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or worries.
J x

KatieJayne

03-06-13, 21:04

OncewasSupergirl

03-06-13, 21:10

Hi KJ,

Welcome and I hope you find lots of help and support here like myself and Jelly.

Jelly thanks for the pm re my neck, I did the exercises you recommended which I remembered the physio teaching me (but I'd forgotten). Got up today and the pain has just disappeared?! Bizarre! My friend said she thought it was neuralgia as the pain went up the side of my face into my head but just the right side was the weirdest thing ever! Hope you are ok chick? My blip seems to have moved on...haven't slept great the last few nights but that was prob the pain in my neck ha!

Sorry for hi-jacking your post KJ :)

X x

---------- Post added at 21:10 ---------- Previous post was at 21:07 ----------

Oh and re noise...I had problems with noisy neighbours (still do) and it sends my anxiety sky high when I'm not feeling good. My issue is music though, idiot upstairs had it on till 2300 and then at 1am, I get so wound up I can't sleep. The fluox has calmed me down though and I'm more tolerant nowadays x x

jelly2010

03-06-13, 21:31

Thank you! That's a massive reassurance.

I went back to my GP tonight to get my second fluoxetine prescription. I'm happy to keep at it in the hope that I can get my life back!

Bad days are so disappointing though aren't they? Tonight's came out of nowhere. I haven't even seen the children next door let alone hear them! Madness.

When I look back at my life pre-anxiety I'm so jealous!! :blush:

Oh I understand completely! I just want my 'old self' back! Yeah bad days are horrible - so frustrating but they will ease off.
Supergirl and I have been through the early weeks and survived. It's not to say it's all smooth sailing (Supergirl has had a couple of rough days this past week and I'm having an anxious evening) but in general we feel much better.

Hang in there! :hugs:
J x

---------- Post added at 21:31 ---------- Previous post was at 21:28 ----------

Hi Super,

I'm so glad your neck is feeling better!! It probably was tension related - I get exactly the same, just on my right side all the way from my fingers to my head.
Glad the blip is buggering off too! I'm having a big of an anxious evening but I'm sure it will pass. I didn't sleep good last night so I prob just need a good rest.

Hope this week is a good one!!
J x

KatieJayne

03-06-13, 21:31

Thank you both!! I think it's hard for my boyfriend when I have a bad day too as he doesn't fully understand that that's the way it goes. Sometimes feel quite a lot of pressure to keep up the good days!! X

Janine

03-06-13, 21:37

Hi Katie, it will take a few weeks to work like Jelly said, you will have some ups and downs and it is not always easy as it can make your anxiety worse for a while, you sound like you have been through such a lot and it could be that this is what you need. I had never suffered with anxiety until last year and never thought I would, I hit rock bottom for a few weeks, diazampan did help and I wish I had been kinder on myself and used it more. I am also on 160mg propanolol which was increased from 80mg at 4 weeks and they did help with the side effects but i understand why you do not want to take them.
There is a lot of help and support on here and I do not know where I would have been without it as I did not know when I started to take them that they could make you feel like they do.

x

KatieJayne

05-06-13, 18:14

OncewasSupergirl

05-06-13, 18:34

I'm not really sure why it heightens anxiety at the start my guess is that its your brain and nervous system reacting to the chemical adjustment as Fluox is a Serotonin Re-uptake inhibitor type of antidepressant, I will research it, its an interesting question! Some people feel very tired and sleepy on it but I was the opposite wired and couldn't sleep at night! Glad you're hanging in there, it will improve KJ :) x x

Sparkle1984

05-06-13, 20:03

Thank you!

Well, I'm still hanging on in. Still definitely feeling more anxious than I have in a long time. Just holding into the hope that this is what happens. Why does it make you feel worse though??

Here is an explanation I've found about why they make you feel worse at first: http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=88523&highlight=ssris+worse

Janine

05-06-13, 22:35

Thanks for that Sparkle, interesting reading.

xx

KatieJayne

14-06-13, 15:03

Yes, definitely. Thank you!

So I'm reaching the end of week four now. Morning anxiety has been at its worse; very very shaky limbs!!

I do think I'm starting to think a bit more rational. Still feeling anxious though of course!

Whiskey

14-06-13, 21:00

Hey katie,
Really dont know why it makes you feel worse it just does, these are mood altering drugs which take time to get into yr system. I have found them brilliant! I have taken them for nearly 8 weeks, and only the past two weeks have I noticed a difference, im now back at work after 7 weeks of being off! I really recommend fluoxitine! Xxxxxx

Janine

14-06-13, 21:04

Mornings were the hardest for me for a long time, just hang in there for a couple more weeks and I think you will see a huge difference.

xx

Whiskey

14-06-13, 21:27

Katie,
You have been through alot, so sorry about that. I too have suffered with anxiety which has disrupted my life. I was having panic attacks daily, but they stopped after 3 wks of meds. I am on fluoxitine and have been for nearly 8 weeks, its worked really well for me although slowly. I noticed big changes in week 6 to be honest! Janine, you are an inspiration, ive read alot of yr posts particulary with princess. Anyway katie good luck and best wishes from me xxxxx

KatieJayne

14-06-13, 21:28

Thank you both! Can I ask what the source of your anxieties were?

I'm really hoping these drugs work! I'm not prepared to be like I was last summer - bed ridden anxious mess :(

Janine

14-06-13, 22:33

Hi Katie

Mine started last summer too, up till then I had never suffered with anxiety before, I ended up in A&E in a right state, they think that it was triggered by losing my dad a few months before and dealing with my mum who can be difficult to say the least, I then got a bowel infection and ended up in hospital and that was when the anxiety really started although I did not know what it was for a start. I ended up a bed ridden anxious mess too especially as I did not realise that the fluxotiene was making it worse until i found this site at four weeks. It just seems like I had a breakdown although i have a great husband, 3 lovely boys (well men now) and two dogs and cats who i adore and a job I love, so it was all took a bit of understanding. Thought I would never be me again but I am thank goodness. xxx

KatieJayne

15-06-13, 10:37

Thank you for sharing. I'm having an anxious morning this morning. All set off because I heard a bit of door banging from next door - just living their normal lives!! I seem to be conditioned to thinking the worse from my old neighbours! :(

Janine

15-06-13, 21:28

Hopefully as the meds really kick in they will help you relax and not to worry so much about what is going on. xxx

KatieJayne

16-06-13, 10:59

So, I've lost 5 pounds since starting Fluoxetine which I'm surprised at!! I've also gone from falling asleep in the evenings to being awake till gone midnight.

I did however go to bed feeling 'normal' yesterday, but have woke up feeling really anxious again! :(

Janine

16-06-13, 20:42

I lost a stone in two weeks as I struggled to eat anything at all try and eat light things even if it is just a small piece of toast or a banana, once it all kicks in your appetite will come back i promise, I also used to go to bed feeling normal and then would wake with chronic anxiety, slowly and gradually it improved, just hang in there and just take it a day at a time. xxx

chrissykk

17-06-13, 23:16

Hi there
I have just joined this site, I have been on fluoxetine for 6yrs and absolutly convinced they saved my life, i was in a black hole after discovering shocking news that my daughter had started taking class A drugs at 15, We have both come along way now and have helped and comforted each other in our times of dispair.
I feel like i'm a much stronger person now and feel no shame for taking tablets to help the quality of mine and my daughters life.
Chrissy.xx

adellic

18-06-13, 04:13

Hi All
I have just joined this site also and am on my 3rd week of fluoxetine.
Panic attacks havn't gone away, still anxious as, some days not so much though, its a bit up and down at the moment, but i guess thats to expect when just starting out (i said i'd give it at least a month and a bit to see if i see any results).

im wondering, has anyone ever got a funny feeling in their heart when first starting off on fluoxetine? i have had ecg's and tests and bloods done, and they canot find anything wrong with my heart physically, so they think it may be the anxiety causing the funny feelings...im thinking it may be the meds? hope it goes away soon...its worse when i first wake up...

KatieJayne

18-06-13, 20:25

Chrissy thank you very much for sharing. Positive things like that keep me going.:)

Adellic, fluoxetine didn't cause me chest pains but that's not to say they aren't listed in the booklet (I tend not to read this!!)

KatieJayne

08-07-13, 20:52

Hello all

I wanted to come back and update you. I'm on week seven/eight and I've started to do things that I literally haven't been able to even attempt to do in years. As those who have read my first few posts will know, my anxiety was related to noise - I can't tolerate noise, especially in my own home/garden due to a bad experience in my very first owned home that I put back on the market after only nine months of owning; I literally was frozen with fear in my own home. It was a fine area, I just had bad bad luck. Anyway, this fear was carried into my new home and I was frozen once again.

Over the last fortnight I've: hosted a BBQ, and spent a good few hours in my garden, both alone and with my other half. Don't get me wrong, these two things were not remotely without any anxiety at all (I nearly reached for the Diazapan for the BBQ) but I coped, and they are first steps to being a bit less petrified 24/7.

I've lost a stupid amount of weight which is concerning me a bit, and I think my sex drive took a hit, but they are the 'only' two things I'm left with. Hopefully they will ease.

For those taking them and not seeing the effects yet; hold on in! The first few weeks I literally felt like I was hanging off the edge of a cliff and things were about to crash down any second, but they didn't (apart from one anxiety crying episode). Keep hope everyone :) x

Janine

08-07-13, 22:15

I am so glad that you have turned that corner, it is a really good feeling when it happens, don't worry about your weight, it will sort itself out once you and it will ease, I was the slimmest i have been for years over the winter. it will gradually go back on. xxx

KatieJayne

13-07-13, 09:27

Thank you!

So I went to get Prozac on repeat prescription this morning which I got. The doctor said he calls this Vitamin P - that its more of an anxiety supplement than a drug?! Confusing!

Speranza

13-07-13, 09:33

KatieJayne

21-07-13, 09:52

I think he was probably joking, but it's a great name for it. How weird, I was going to post this morning asking if anybody has noise issues - I've had them since I was tiny. I have noticed my tolerance is increasing - on Day 24.

I've never really heard from anyone else with noise related anxiety. Is yours a particular noise?

Speranza

21-07-13, 09:56

There are a few. The most disabling in everday life is that some days I simply can't use the washing machine - if you understand that, you will be the first person I've ever met who did!

rachelsk

21-07-13, 15:19

KatieJayne

21-07-13, 15:46

I'm just glad I'm not the only one who constantly wears ear plugs !!!! I virtually live in them I can't handle loads of noise people talking all the time hate the tv bein on cant handle my 4 yr old son makin noise or constantly sayin mummy mummy mummy which makes me feel really bad:unsure:
The anxiety never really leaves me but its better than it was,I'm realising all the symptoms it brings won't hurt me as unpleasant they are,I can't socialise don't really leave the house,can't take my son to nursery for fear I will be gripped by panic,it's taken over my life but I keep positive that one day soon I will get my life back and I am gonna make a lot of changes I can't go through this again it's been 9wks of hell and a waste of time ,I would give anything to get my life back just want to be happy and feel free

Although I don't like that you're going through this too, it's very reassuring to know I'm not the only one. I LIVE in earplugs! I have them everywhere - my car, my coats, draws everywhere!! My noise is mainly related to neighbours though because I suppose I think it's an invasion of my privacy. Thing is, my neighbours are just living. They aren't doing anything anti-social! And I can bet that we make the exact same noises. I know it's because I've had bad neighbour experiences that's made me this way. Would be great to rewind two years to when I was normal!! When we have people over they don't even hear what I hear. :doh: do you know what your trigger was for all of this?

I must admit, I can handle mechanical type noises like washing machines. It's noise made by people I can't handle, again more than likely linked to my previous bad neighbours

rachelsk

21-07-13, 17:33

Had a lot of illness in my family since an early age right up until the present day plus some personal things that have happened to me,had depression since I was 24 and I'm nearly 40 now n had anxiety to some degree but never as bad as this ,think my heads just caved in and a can't handle anything else,never felt so ill and scared in my life as I have these last 9 was but I'm slowly turning a corner but have a long way to go :huh: