Changing my life

[Elle-Kay]

I've been all around the site, and the forums, and read lots of good ideas for what to do to rid myself once and for all of the dreaded PAs (and the borderline agoraphobia too, of course ;)). The trouble is, this seems to involve a life overhaul, and I'm feeling a smidge overwhelmed!

I read a post here last night, where Meg said something along the lines of "no-one believes that the little things work, but they DO!", and I thought 'hey yeah, that's me all over actually..'. I've had the opportunity to do the "little things" for ages, but discredited them, because they didn't come with letters after their name, or in a bottle with un-pronouncable ingredients...

Now, at the grand old age of 22, and having realised that I'm sick of existing this way, and yes, actually, I have made a lot more progress than I credit myself with, I'm going to try and make the little things happen, to make myself 'better' once and for all.

However, I'm still feeling overwhelmed, so my question is: what should I do first? [8)]

[andrew]

hi leah, i would write a list of the 'little things' you wanna try and do the easiest ones first. hopefully once you've got a list of separate 'little things' it might not seem so overwhelming. try and tell yourself, one at a time, you'll be alright snd it will take as long as it takes. take care andrew

[kate]

Leah,

I am the same as you. I never give myself credit for the small things, just see the whold overwhelming picture and feel a failure cos I haven't managed to overcome the whole thing.

But, looking back over the last few months, I have increased my working hours, joined the gym, had a haircut etc etc.

As Andrew says, start with small things, dont try to change the whole lot in one go.

Let us know how you get on.

Kate x

[seh1980]

Hi Leah,

Wow-you sound so positive - that's great!! My only adive would be to start with the little things cos it's easy to get discouraged so just a little step at a time...Good luck!!!

Sarah (seh1980)

[Elle-Kay]

Well, here I am, a few days later, and though I'm still anxious about starting that new job, I feel like I've made a little progress as well :)

For a start, I had a talk with my boyfriend about everything the other night (he's known about my anxiety & PAs from day one, and been really supportive, but I hadn't told him about finding NMP or my 'new' outlook yet). He seemed pleased that I was being more positive about my situation, and we've decided to make me 'better' together, and have a celebration to reward ourselves when it's all done. At the moment we're thinking a proper holiday, as we've only been able to snatch the odd weekend here and there as I've been feeling up to it until now.

With my resolution to fix this once and for all (I did it once - I went on day trips, on holiday to wales and all sorts - this is just as relapse that happened when my grandad died, so I've only been lazy and ignorant in thinking I can't do it again), I've been making myself do things. For example, since my original post, I've been in the car with my dad driving twice. Once to the bank, and once to look for some new clothes for my sister and to pick out some DVDs to rent at Blockbuster. So ok, it's not much, but it's something I might have backed out of before, "in case" i had a PA. Today I've been feeling a bit worse for wear (non-PA related), but I also forced myself to go take the DVDs back to Blockbuster, even though I *did* feel ill, and *was* worried that feeling ill and going out would bring on a PA. I felt a bit inclined to one as I was driving there, but I did my breathing, and got through it just fine [^]

I've also been and bought myself some Rescue Remedy, and some one-a-day vitamin B supplements to try out (I hope the RR tastes better in water than it does straight on the tongue! lol), and tomorrow I'm going to head off to the library and get out some of the books recommended on the main site here [8D]

Here's hoping for more improvement soon!

Leah

[Meg]

Good for you Leah.

We look forward to more such posts..


Go easy on yourself too , its not a race .

Meg

[twister]

I think one of the best tips is to eat healthily - it makes a real difference to me and when i eat takeaways and stuff (as I am prone to do!) I feel much more anxious.

Also exercise is really good at getting rid of excess ardrenaline so give that a go too!

And well done, you have been doing great so far.:D

Emily

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit
Understanding is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad

[Meg]

Leah ,

Have you read 'First Steps' yet in the Welcome section.

You may find something in there that clicks with you and you might like to integrate soonish .


Meg

'There can only be true courage when first there is genuine fear'

Dr.David Livingstone

[Elle-Kay]

Thanks Meg and Emily :)

I still live at home at the moment (until I can stop with the anxiety and move in with my boyfriend hehe), so my dear mummy makes sure that I eat pretty healthily. Plus, being unemployed until now has meant that I haven't been able to afford takeaways and such anyway ;)

I always have good resolutions about exercise, and even did a 14 day trial at one of the local gyms recently, but they very often come to nought :( I find gyms too expensive for what they are (after all, I can run, pedal a bike and do stretches anywhere..), so I object to joining one (unless on a special offer, as with the 14 day thing). On the flip side of the coin, I never feel as if I'm doing any worthwhile exercise when I try away from a gym. Walking doesn't feel as if I'm actually exercising, running is a no-no because of back problems, I hate to swim, and biking makes my botty hurt [:o)] We also have a tiddly house, so there isn't really enough room to workout to an exercise video :(

Edit because I saw Meg's reply:
I have Meg :) That's what led me to get the vit B (a whole month's supply for 48p - can't be bad!) and rescue remedy, and I'm making a conserted (sp?) effort to not snack between meals, walk places where I might have used my car before to use up that adrenalin, and practise my breathing [8D]

~* Do what you want. Nobody else will do it for you *~

[EMMA]

Leah,

You sound so much like you are heading in the right direction. I walked round tesco on my own liast week in the midst of a panic attack. I nearly ditched the trolley and ran out but I sweated it out and was really proud after. But once I got home I cried my eyes out because I felt so bad. As you have probably seen from my other posts I went to Barcelona for my hen weekend but came home on the next flight because my PA's were so bad. I am disappointed I couldn't handle it. But I have my honeymoon in 4 weeks and now I have my meds and are getting back on the straight and narrow I will be going for sure. I will be with my fella anyway so he'll look after me.

I'm going to my mum's today in York for a couple of days and I'm actually going to drive there by myself.

Like you say, it's the little things we need to remember. And the more little things you conquer the better things become. The mind is like the body and takes time to heal so stick at it. At least you're partner is there to help you through.

Good luck

Emma xx