Partner and anxiety...?

[Sunset-mind]

hi,

im a young male in my mid 20's and im struggling with anxiety at moment. really quite badly......had it fir years and it comes in episodes, but when it comes it really comes and normally lasts 2 weeks-3months. I have been with my partner for 2 years now and she is really great with me. She has always been their for me when anxious, never makes me do anything I don't feel comfortable with, always helps and re-assures. She really is great.

My problem is at the moment is I don't seem to be finding her sexually attractive, this hasn't just been the case when ive been feeling anxious, its been before. Im worried because I feel like some of my down/anxiety/ low feeling is because their is no more excitement. which is probably more my fault then hers due to this anxiety. But Its not like my sex drive is down at all......it just seems like I would rather not do it, its not bad, but its all the same.

We live with eachother, share bills, car, money etc etc so its not like I can just get up and go.......and with my current state of anxiety this is not a possibility anyway, seen as I have de-realization, feel down etc etc. I know people will say I obviously don't love her, but I truly do, but just miss the days of excitement and stuff ;) .lol. If I tell her how I feel, she will get SOOOOOO upset, if I don't im kinda worried ill slip up. Not cheat on her, but maybe flirt with other female collegues etc etc. Am I just being a proper meanie?

if I leave her it ill cuse so much problems and 10x more anxiety which is already very very very bad. But if I keep with her im always wondering ........

she is really great, I cant express this enough, but I just seem to have a high sex drive but getting bored of the same stuff. I really don't know if this is the right place to post thism or appropriate but its making me anxious as I don't want to make things worse as I don't know if I could cope......

any help?

[Clint70]

Dont do anyhing hasty m8, look ive been married nigh on 20yrs i know ive got the best mrs going, but during bouts of high anxiety i question if i want to even be in a relationship as well as everything else.
Now i never have these thoughts when im not having a bout of high anxiety, once you get over this episode your having now and look at things in perpspective if you still feel the same way then make your decision.
This is a major life decision no doubt and a break up isnt something you want to be dealing with when your not at your strongest.

[steveo]

I could of written exactly what you wrote Sunset-mind.

I had exactly the same problem. Unfortunately my girlfriend has dumped me now even though she was cheating on me.

I can completely understand what you mean though. Difficult one!

[annie.hall]

I've been with my boyfriend for almost five years now and I have had the same problems as you. I've really thought about why I would be sexually disinterested in my partner and wanting something else. Somehow, it can get kind of depressing to think that you have found the person you want to spend your life with. To have your life all traced up. You have to talk to her. Don't tell her that you don't find her attractive anymore or anything, but tell her that right now you're unhappy with where this is going. That you want some things to change. In my case, we were always watching TV and doing boring stuff. I told my boyfriend that I wouldn't want it to be like this all my life. Express what you want and how you feel. She will understand, she probably knows something is up. Long-term relationships are never easy. Anyway, I once read a beautiful quote, I don't remember the exact words but it said that the secret to a successful relationship is that you fall in love multiple times with the same person. You may not feel your love is as strong as it were, but give it a little time and it'll come back.