the dude
03-10-06, 00:18
So I've had certain symptoms (not going to name them) for a while. Frankly, ever since I was a child. I saw a program as a child where someone had similar symptoms and ever since then I've been TERRIFIED to confront this.
Frankly, going to a doctor tomorrow to face this is making me feel ill to my stomach right now. Worst case scenario is a serious disease, another is necessary surgery, less serious involved other conditions/diseases that I could deal with. But ever since I was a child I didnt want to find out the worst case...so I never bothered to bring it up. and now I'm hoping I didnt just really hurt myself by not confronting this when I was about 10, and not 22....ugh. I'm thinking this is where a lot of my anxiety mightve come from actually. Keeping this bottled up for about 12 years.
The worst part is the fact that I waited and it mightve been something that mightve been easily dealt with back then that mightve turned into an issue now.
I'm just terrified really.
I know I shouldnt be focusing on this, but the "what if's" have been bad habits for me since elementarys chool and I still need to work on really hard to break.
I had no one to vent to because I dont feel like worrying myself anymore or my friends.
Frankly, going to a doctor tomorrow to face this is making me feel ill to my stomach right now. Worst case scenario is a serious disease, another is necessary surgery, less serious involved other conditions/diseases that I could deal with. But ever since I was a child I didnt want to find out the worst case...so I never bothered to bring it up. and now I'm hoping I didnt just really hurt myself by not confronting this when I was about 10, and not 22....ugh. I'm thinking this is where a lot of my anxiety mightve come from actually. Keeping this bottled up for about 12 years.
The worst part is the fact that I waited and it mightve been something that mightve been easily dealt with back then that mightve turned into an issue now.
I'm just terrified really.
I know I shouldnt be focusing on this, but the "what if's" have been bad habits for me since elementarys chool and I still need to work on really hard to break.
I had no one to vent to because I dont feel like worrying myself anymore or my friends.