Issue at work that is worrying me

[GirlAfraid23]

I work in a school with a 4 year old girl who suffers from visual issues.
I only work part time but do the morning club too so = 6.5 hours a day altogether or thereabouts.
I have now been asked by the headteacher if I can do more hours in the afternoon. I really dont want to as its with a boy who has behavioural issues.
I also like the hours I do and as my anxiety is bad I like to come home early especially if I am going through a bad patch - the less hours the better.
I'm worried that if i refuse it it will look bad on me and may reflect on my job.
I am not sure what to say? :-(

[Leem]

I know this isn't want you want to hear GA23 but do it. Yes, I said it, do the hours. Now i can imagine you now shouting at the screen "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" :yesyes:

In my experiences of bad anxiety at times is that avoidance is worse than doing it. And boy have I been anxious, but chose to dig in and sit it out no matter what. It wont/cant beat you, you know, be stubborn. I dont know you or your situation but from what I read above is that you want to avoid the boy, have your set hours so you can avoid the anxiety and also so you can come home and you underestimate your skill at handling the boy. By being in your current position I bet you can handle it no worries if you persevered with it, in time.

Now my approach would be negotiation with the headteacher. Ease your way in by doing a few extra hours here and there to start to dip your toe in before moving forward. Like a graded exposure. Therefore you will get some more hours, more money, complete a challenge, moved forward, not felt bad and helped your anxiety long term!!! Win win. :yahoo:

Seriously I do the best i can to not avoid anything even though I am terrified as it is for the best long term and your confidence will grow because of non avoidance. Do not underestimate yourself, your mind tells you that you cannot do stuff, but you can, its a mind trick, doesn't exist.

[Rennie1989]

Maybe give it a trial run for a week. I agree with Leem that you should do it but if you absolutely cannot cope looking after this child then you shouldn't have to dread going to work everyday. But definitely give it a go.

Are you just helping this child in the classroom?

[GirlAfraid23]

There is no negotiation with him. Its all or nothing so to be honest I would rather not.
I honestly dont want to do it. I am happy in my current role and dont want changes.
He needs specialist help and I dont have the experience to deal with him. I need to know how to restrain him and everything.
I dont feel comfortable.
The little girl I am with now is perfect for me and we get along just fine.

---------- Post added at 16:31 ---------- Previous post was at 16:26 ----------

I just need advice on how to tell him this without it looking bad.
I do family commitments at the mo with my nan as I help my mum look after her in afternoons. so I suppose I could tell him that.

[Kells81]

If you really don't want to do it then just say 'thank you very much for the opportunity but due to commitments outside of work it isn't really practical for me at the moment'

Part time jobs are meant to be part time so your boss shouldn't have a problem with it.

[GirlAfraid23]

Thats true Kelly.
In another circumstance I would consider it but hes such a handful and I dont think I can cope.

[Kells81]

Like the others have said you could always offer help with him on the odd occasion. There will be no pressure on you then and you also might surprise yourself and get on just fine with it.

[Spot-the-frog]

It sounds to me that you don't want the extra hours and not just because of your anxiety. So I would be polite and just say no. Don't be pressurised into something that you don't want to do.

Good Luck x

[Edie]

It would be good experience to work with a challenging child, and hopefully they would offer training in restraint methods and everything else you'd need to know, which may be helpful in the future when the girl you support moves up to a new school.

But you are already working quite long hours and by the sounds of it, having some difficulties sometimes with the hours you're already doing. Just be sure your concerns are valid and you're not just putting yourself down.

Personally I would thank the head for offering the extra hours but explain that you care for your nan in the afternoons and aren't available.

[GirlAfraid23]

It would be good experience to work with a challenging child, and hopefully they would offer training in restraint methods and everything else you'd need to know, which may be helpful in the future when the girl you support moves up to a new school.

But you are already working quite long hours and by the sounds of it, having some difficulties sometimes with the hours you're already doing. Just be sure your concerns are valid and you're not just putting yourself down.

Personally I would thank the head for offering the extra hours but explain that you care for your nan in the afternoons and aren't available.

Thank you edie.
Yes I will do that I think. I already have enough hours and don't want any extra. I like my hours as they are.

[Col]

Yes girl afraid , Eddie is right especially feeling like you do and you saying your boss is either all or nothing I think Eds advice is bang on.

Well done you for having a good job and sticking to it in the first place X

[GirlAfraid23]

Yes Col, that is exactly right. I am just about dealing with my current hours so any more on top would make life difficult for me.
I am just going to tell him tomorrow that I have commitments in the afternoon, including volunteering (that I do) so wouldnt be practical for me at this time. But in the new term I am happy to rearrange my hours if needs be.

[Col]

:winks: yes I think for now, for you that's the right decision.

Take care