any one else get ocds linked to there health anxiety ?

[emma jo]

Hi i am new to this site but suffer terrible health anxiety with ocds involving checking different illness i worry I have . I have been suffering from since I was 23 im now 34 but have had it on and off over the years . the last few years have been the worst I have had different test over the years all came back ok but I worry they might have been wrong. im currently struggling with fears i have esogous cancer despite a baruim swallow test last year which came back ok the the fear came back again this year with a burning stomach so had a gastroscopy but still worry that doctors missed something as was only down in throat for about a min i was awake not sedated. my ocds change every day from drinking water fast to see if i can feel or hear it go to my stomach to convince myself foods not stuck to swallowing big mouthful's of food to see if it goes down ok. sometimes it does get stuck which makes my anxiety so much worse and strengthens my ocds to check even more. I have a fear of certain foods and cant have them in the house in-case I get urge to check. Im currently struggling with eating bread and its not helped me looking it up on internet as it says bread sticks in throat with esogous cancer , I have other ocds too all related to health anxiety and worries the more i check the worse it gets and the anxiety levels are awful I have had cbt in past and i am currently on cbt again had nine sessions so far but even though i understand why it happens i am really struggling to ignore the compulsion to check as the anxiety is so high and it plagues me throughout the day until i give in and check I feel if i dont check ill miss the cancer i worry is there. some days are worse than others i get stuck in a train of thought and cant get out of it. when i stop worrying about one illness i get another one pop in to my head mainly focused on cancer of throat mouth esogus but other places also i have fears about one ilness go but then a week later the fears about previous illness return inbetween i have a different worry but im always continuous worried and it makes me so depressed I have made myself sick from sticking my fingers so far in to my throat to check for lumps many times I just want my life to be normal i feel that the cbt lady doesnt really understand they said they can only offer me about six more sessions because of lack of nhs funding. I had to go a month without cbt because she was on holiday and i really struggled when i told her she said i have to learn to cope without having cbt sessions but that was only after four sessions and i thought i would need alot more than that to improve . I need to know of any one suffering health anxiety ocds and how if they got over it as its ruining my life got a beautiul son and i want to enjoy life with him and my wonderful partner thanks :)

[robin321]

I have been in therapy almost every two weeks for over a year.
Yes, they are linked. OCD is about trying to get control through something... in my case it is researching illnesses online, in the hopes that it will reduce the anxiety.

The thing is that it never (or rarely works). It might work in the short-term... But not in the long term. And usually for me it increases my anxiety because I cannot get enough. I read, read, read, and lose time with my family and get more anxious. Or I read something that confirms my fear.

The tip I get from my therapy is to resist the checking. At first the anxiety will build really high... and keep climbing. But you have to accept this, and eventually it will decrease. It takes a lot of practice.

I have read a lot on it also. And most of what I read is about accepting the fear, or uncomfort. Easy to say, hard to do I know!

There is also medication available, but I choose to stick with therapy.

[emma jo]

thanks for the reply I know thats the thing I struggle with the most resisting the anxious feeling when I dont check I have a problem with looking up illnesses on internet too or how reliable is the tests they do if i have been referred for one in past which doesnt help me

[RosieXXX]

Hello emma jo,

I am sorry to hear you are struggling so much with your health anxiety. I have suffered for many years, but have improved greatly since i have resisted the urge to check. I know it is Extremely difficult, because all we crave is some sort of reassurance, and we always think just one final check or finding out just a little bit more information from google will help, but of course it doesn't - it only feeds the anxiety, and so the compulsions continue.

I strongly believe the urge to check etc. is highly addictive and absolutely counter productive, and the cycle of checking/reassurance seeking has to be broken. I agree with Robin, to begin with the level of anxiety will increase all the while you resist, but eventually it will start to subside. I think it must be rather like a smoker trying to give up cigarettes.

I managed to wean myself off by limiting the number of checks; you have to remain very disciplined. I found it helped to remind myself that each and every time i checked it would make me feel worse in the long run, and that each time i checked i was running the risk of getting back into a cycle of almost continual prodding and poking, which ended up making me feel very sore, which in turn focused my mind back onto the symptoms. It is a vicious circle, and i do understand how you are struggling, but i am certain if you can break the cycle of checking you will begin to make a recovery.

[emma jo]

thank you so much im going to try really hard to reduce and resist the checking ill let you know how i get on :)

[violet12]

Hi emma

I am going through exactly the same! The ocd/checking is a new symptom for me, although I have suffered from anxiety & depression for most of my life on and off. I've had HA once before many years ago due to post natal depression but it didn't involve the checking only the worrying!

I too have been advised to stop the checking and it does reduce the anxiety & break the cycle but like you if I'm not checking I'm worried that I'm missing something. So what I dont know is how do we live a normal life? I feel like the only way is to ignore our health issues completely? Every little harmless thing is an issue for me but I don't seem to be able to decide what's important and what's not and if Its something I need to ask the doc I need to do it immediately as it takes over my life. So for the time being I'm trying to ignore everything until my mind is a bit more rational. I also have developed other obsessions like imagining food allergies, phobia to meds and many other weird & wonderful things that my mind conjures up to keep my anxiety raging!

Are you taking any medication? I've just started taking citalopram. Not having much affect yet.

I also started something called focus sessions this week. That is 4 sessions of psychotherapy to try to get to the route of the problem to see what type of longer term therapy best suits the problem. Anyway the therapist was very good and spent a lot of time reassuring me that I'm not going mad and I will get better. It was just such a relief to be able to off load everything, and do you know when I heard myself saying some of the things I'm worried about it sounded silly! So I think what i'm saying is even saying it out loud instead of just 'thinking/ruminating' it all the time diluted the fear. So i'm hopeful about the therapy. Not sure about the medication though.

Another thing I found that works really well is distraction. I know everyone says this and its so hard to distract yourself when you are obsessed with a thought but I had to phone the crisis team recently because I was in such a state and the psychiatric nurse told me to 'forget about my health issues for the moment and focus on something else' I know this sounds really obvious & so simple but i think we get so caught up in our thinking that we forget we do have a choice as to what we think about and when. Anyway when she said this to me....I thought to myself...yeah right...but do you know I tried it and it worked because I made a concious effort to focus on something else, my anxiety reduced. Even if it gives you a break for while its a nice relief from the worrying.