Kim51
11-06-13, 09:52
Hi my name is Kim, I have suffered with anxiety and panic attacks on and of for the past sixteen years, but at the moment am at an all time low and worst I have been. Despite having a loving family I feel so alone and thought NMP might lessen that feeling plus help to see I am not the only one. I will try to do an edited account of the last six months and how I got to this low.
I am married and have been for four years (2nd) I have three grown up children and six grandchildren. Late last summer I noticed that my husband had changed and was getting more distant and argumentative which put me on edge. At the beginning of January he announced he was moving out for three months as he needed space this devastated me and I sank into deep depression and at times suicidal. He moved out on the 25th Jan from that time onwards the panic attacks returned I managed to cope at first although unpleasant when I was at work (I am a lecturer at college in health and social care four days a week) over the next few weeks panic attacks got worse to the point on March 20th I could not go into the class room, I was sent home and had a month of work, I returned and the panic attacks where just as bad I struggled through two weeks and have been signed off since. The present situation is my husband is back but has no understanding or comprehension of what I am going through and how I feel, as I am sure a lot of you know it is so hard to explain to others your fears. I am virtually housebound at the moment. My doctor has put me on Mirtazapine 45mg which apart from tiredness I have no other side effects and I am using lorazepam 1mg x2 to get out if needed, this is the only way I can get out at moment and as I am aware how dependent you can get on these I only use a couple of times a week. I start CBT on the 25th June and am really hoping this helps.
I hope this makes sense!! and is not to long and boring but this is me at present.:)
I am married and have been for four years (2nd) I have three grown up children and six grandchildren. Late last summer I noticed that my husband had changed and was getting more distant and argumentative which put me on edge. At the beginning of January he announced he was moving out for three months as he needed space this devastated me and I sank into deep depression and at times suicidal. He moved out on the 25th Jan from that time onwards the panic attacks returned I managed to cope at first although unpleasant when I was at work (I am a lecturer at college in health and social care four days a week) over the next few weeks panic attacks got worse to the point on March 20th I could not go into the class room, I was sent home and had a month of work, I returned and the panic attacks where just as bad I struggled through two weeks and have been signed off since. The present situation is my husband is back but has no understanding or comprehension of what I am going through and how I feel, as I am sure a lot of you know it is so hard to explain to others your fears. I am virtually housebound at the moment. My doctor has put me on Mirtazapine 45mg which apart from tiredness I have no other side effects and I am using lorazepam 1mg x2 to get out if needed, this is the only way I can get out at moment and as I am aware how dependent you can get on these I only use a couple of times a week. I start CBT on the 25th June and am really hoping this helps.
I hope this makes sense!! and is not to long and boring but this is me at present.:)