Panic attacks and depression

[DarKBlade]

Hi guys first post here, i have been off work now for 2 1/2 months with depression and anxiety. This was caused at work through bullying and things said behind my back(but when i was clearly in ear shot) if you know what i mean by that? I wasn't at the time anxious or depressed i just thought it would pass and i will keep my head down and do my job. Well after a long spiral day after day of the same abuse i just couldn't cope anymore i wasn't concentrating on my job and had no interest in seeing/speaking with anyone especially my 'colleagues' i use that term as loosely as possible these days as i am in 2 minds whether to actually go back! One guy the ring leader would tell everyone how he was going to kick the s*** out of me after work, he would wait till we finish work at the same time and 'get me'. This all stemmed from a conversation i was having with a colleague while on a break, he said there were some nice women we work with and found a few attractive, i said yeah there are a couple i would definatley not kick out of bed, now this coming from me was completely out of character, i am normally shy and quiet but i think i was having a weird/bad day and i just couldn't stop things coming out of my mouth that day! Anyway the colleague proceeded to tell everyone else that day of our conversation and of course in a department things spread quickly, later that day i heard the whispers, and comments again not paranoia. And to sum this up management know of the situation, they know i am essentially being bullied indirectly harassed everyday, and know that one of there employees openly threatens violence as revenge towards my comment. In some respects i have felt guilty for so long about it, tried to resolve it at work,apologized to the person i made the comment about in person face to face. was told i was worrying over nothing, and that nobody's talking about me which is very hard to accept, when you know that they know! Anyway now i am so low and anxious that i can't even see where i will be in 1 month let alone a year or 5 years so hard to imagine a bright future in this situation and feeling the way i do :wacko::blush:

[Rennie1989]

If your management won't help you then go higher up. It is disgusting that they refuse to do anything, especially when a member of staff is threatening to attack you (I'm sure that's a criminal offence). It's good that you apologised to the women in question about your comments, but that should have been settled there and then and not cause you to be bullied. If nothing is then done then I would contact Citizens Bureau. Work place bullying is WRONG and I am so sorry to hear that you're going through that.

[Col]

First of all your either paranoid or rightly picking up on bad vibes...... From the way you've written things you certainly are not paranoid! I thought girls liked to gossip but talk about a bitchy boy or what???? It sounds like school & the management need bloody sacking!
Gosh this is awful I really feel 4 u! I'd keep a diary & get independant union advice, pronto!
U can not accept this, u need to take a stand and the gossip to one side, that guy threatening to do that in that manner , joke or not, the management need a kick up the arse, allowing stuff like that being so openly said. In fact the fact that he's saying it & the boss hearing it, is worse than the guy doing it on the snide! Discusting , perhaps a chat with the boss also would be a good idea.

Good luck

[Stormsky]

Doesn't sound like somewhere you want to work surely?

[flori]

Hi Darkblade and :welcome:

So sorry you are going through such a hard time at work. It makes me really angry when I hear of bullying, especially in the work place. And these days it`s not so easy to find another job.
Two people I know were bullied in the workplace and HR were hopeless there too. You need witnesses to back up your complaint and sometimes the other workers won`t get involved in case the bully makes it difficult for them too.
Hope you feel better soon and the problem gets resolved at work.

[DarKBlade]

Hi thanks for all your comments, i need some more advice. I went to see my GP the other day and after being on Citrlopram for 2 months and these not working she decided to refer me to a psychiatrist? Which at the time i nodded dumbly and thought maybe that will help, but i am also scared because i don't know if this means i am worse than i think i am from a medical point of view or she just has given up on me? 2 months of treatment is not a long time is it? I have a friend who was on a repeat prescription for Prozac for over 2 years! I just feel at the minute that everything is wrong, and can't see a way out.
My wife has told me to find another job while i am off work, but i don't know if i could go through the interview process, and the other thing is if i did find another job could i hand in my notice at work while still off sick? So many things to think about, but not a clear enough head to do it ahhh. I certainly don't want to return to my workplace knowing what awaits me there that's for sure! Anyway guys thanks for all the help so far i really appreciate it!

[Regina]

Hi Darkblade,
So sorry to hear of your troubles. I can't believe that your bosses wouldn't step in in such a situation given that there must be some type of liability there for them. If you have been out for a stress related illness, anything that happens at work that aggravates that could be seen as intentional hostile workplace? Of course that's a complaint that can be made here in the US, I'm not sure how it works there.

Try not to see the referral to the psychiatrist as a bad thing. My doctor did the same for the simple reason that she wanted someone who has experience with these medications overseeing my treatment with them, like seeing a specialist for any other problem. I would certainly not put yourself under any further stress until you get your anxiety under control. I wish you well.

~Regina x

[Col]

Hi , no maybe it's because using meds your still where u were when u last visited doc, so she's trying other avenues to help u :winks:

I'm sure u could hand ur notice in whilst still off sick, what if the doc said if u can, dont go back for now, they don't need to know u have a new job. Speak to benifts or citizens advice.

[DarKBlade]

Hi thanks for all the kind words and help/suggestions i do appreciate them! It is also nice to know in some small way that i am not the only person in the world that feels like this or is in this position, makes me feel a little better? Anyway i need a little advice again, i have heard a rumor, that i may not have a job to come back to, apparently the guy i was speaking to the other day(an acquaintance from the same place i work, but in another dept) said that he had heard some of my colleagues discussing me in the corridor when he was delivering some supplies to a ward, they allegedly said that work were waiting for me to go back and then they were going to fire me :/ In my workplace the attendance system runs 3 bouts in 6 months stage 1 informal(which is what i am on now) stage 2 again informal with HR present and then stage 3 formal which can but not always lead to disciplinary proceedings, now i am nowhere near the stage 2 or 3 so i don't feel they can sack me on these grounds, my work was excellent until my breakdown where i couldn't cope this was about 2 weeks in total before i snapped and had to go sick. So i don't know if it is just vicious rumors trying to get me worried as they can't get me directly? Anyway i am off to the psychiatrist on Monday and i will discuss all the aspects leading up to my current situation and see what he/she says, i get so angry and anxious just thinking about the whole thing! `I am looking for other employment at the minute which in this climate is hard, i am hoping i don't have to return there otherwise i could find myself in an even worse position mental/physical health wise :/ I have discussed this with occy health and they said they could find me alternative employment within the trust, but if there are no jobs available it could mean losing my current job, win win situation eh? Well anyway long winded post sorry folks.

DarkBlade