Question for you all...

[Munki]

I wondered if this is just me or if it's common. And how do you deal with it...

I've realised that I love spending time alone. I see friends and family frequently but for the most part, love my own time. I'm doing a Criminology degree so guess I've become quite studious.

How many of you, like me, feel that you 'should' be doing other things to conform to society? That is, going out more, drinking, partying etc.

For example, do any of you notice on Facebook that on bank holiday weekends (ARGH - damn those weekends!), everyone is talking about beer gardens and hangovers etc? And do you look and think, I have no urge, desire nor inclination to do the same?

For a long time I've felt this is part of my anxiety, that I'm too scared to go out more. I am now starting to realise that I just 'like' doing this! Luckily, my hubby is the same as me!

I'd love to hear from others who share the same 'issues'.

xx

[aggiecuttler]

we are all different in our likes and dislikes, if you are happy i would not worry about it, you dont need to be doing the same as other people so just do what makes you happy blessings

[Edie]

I do enjoy company, but not too much of it. I also enjoy spending time alone and find it relaxing.

A few years ago I was seeing a counsellor and he wanted me to spend more time with others. I was working full time and also a leader at a youth group on Friday and Saturday nights and Church twice every Sunday, but enjoyed going on long cycle rides and did not know anyone else who would like to cycle with me. My counsellor was trying to persuade me to give up the cycling in favour of team sports because I wasn't spending enough time with others. On my day off though, I really looked forward to a nice long cycle ride alone! So I ignored his advice and he was a bit pissy about it.

I think it can depend though. If you are socially anxious, then being alone may feel enjoyable because you're simply avoiding a social situation and all the anxiety that goes with it. However, you do not sound like you are avoiding social situations as you are holding down (and hopefully enjoying) a marriage, friendships and a relationship with your family. If you said you had no friends and were happy that way, I'd be a bit concerned you were deluding yourself, but you sound like you simply have a healthy balance of social/alone time that works well for you.

I think it's healthy to be able to enjoy solitary time. Many people find it hard to be alone and suffer terrible loneliness when others aren't available. It must be very hard to live like that.

[Col]

I'm very sociable on good days but I love my space. Wheather this is due to having panic issues or perhaps for me years and years of compound family (severe family) stress. So maybe now I'm married got kids , worked , been to uni & got my own house after years of hard work - maybe the latter family stuff etc, is more of a factor for me, loving time on my own. Either way, there's absolutly nothing wrong with enjoying your own chompany & many do!

Collette

[Rennie1989]

I like my me time and will often favour staying at home doing my writing then getting drunk. I get lonely and its my own fault because I don't go out but no-one seems to socialise outside of a pub here. Don't conform to society,.do what you want to do and what makes you happy.

[Munki]

Oh thanks so much for the replies! You're absolutely right. I spend too much time thinking I should be more sociable but that's based on the likes of facebook. As a result I've come off it as I don't think it does me any favours. It's like tonight! Hubbys working late and I could easily have a friend over or go out. Instead? Feet up, telly on and relax with my kitten :)

[Caramel]

Munki,

I'm the exact same as you. Xx As long as you're happy, what else matters? :)

[Munki]

Yeah I know. If only it were that simple...:)

[Rennie1989]

Tbh facebook is full of people going "look at me, see how perfect my life is" so I wouldn't worry about it too much. people makes others believe that their life is awesome and cool when it's probably as dull as mine, lol.

[theharvestmouse]

I've done both, I had years of going out getting drunk, it was fun at the time but in the end I lost touch with me, so I stopped going out and drinking, I now do things that I enjoy, its difficult as we live in a society where its deemed normal to go out and get drunk.

[ricardo]

Interesting thread. I don't believe there is a right or wrong.
Before I became ill I was a tea totaller and I found that so much social activity especially amongst men was drink orientated.
I much preferred going out with a girl be it just as a friend or in a relationship. Mind you things were different when I was younger as girls weren't seen to drink much as it was mainly a pub/beer culture not a wine bar or coffee shop environment.

I enjoyed socialising but only in moderation and usually was the first to arrive and first to leave.